Do you like sundrops with raindrops? (Poetic kissing for the one your missing.)?

Question

"Thirst"

sunlight arriving

with a spring breeze,

sundrops rising

as if to please

exposed petals

anticipating

open desiring

are awaiting

crystaline warm

falling raindrops

flowing waters

crawl over sundrops

Trains a whistling

sounding its time

my girls arriving

I wait in line

silk dress swirling

open eyes glisten

pretty young girl

I've been missing

first sight of her

feet leave the ground,

world is spinning

around 'n round,

I stop breathing

it takes me down

she's whispering

passionate sounds

Wanting, desiring

I start touching

tasting exploring

my hearts singing

Like the sundrops

drinking raindrops

my love for her

it never stops.

note : Sundrops are perennials that blossom in the late spring and early summer in northern climates. They require little care and provide a wonderful display of bright yellow flowers. Although they are similar to the Evening Primrose, they are different in that their flowers close up

Answer 1

It's a pretty poem with a nice rhythm to it. I don't get enough nature in my poetry so thanks for the description of the sundrop.

Edit: In my opinion, thirst is a better choice than love; it conveys more.

Answer 2

I like it very much...maybe a tad long...you could say it all with little less, I think. Just my opinion.

Answer 3

I like it as it shows a lot of emotion such as love, passion, lust, and need. I think is is beautiful. Keep up the good work and always write from the heart.

Answer 4

I like this.  It reminds me of young love, in which I participated many years ago.

You have captured the beauty of young love, along with some of its passion and fire.

Not a new theme, but I don't think we can overdo expressing it.