Do you like the beginning of my story???

Question

I was wondering if anyone liked my 1st paragraph of my story. It is called "Wish For Death." As Sareth walked across the lonely hall floor, the sunset was his only light. He had to walk fast. In 10 second's he could merely be liquid. "Get Raluka. And do it fast." Sareth spoke to Phenrig. As Phenrig walked into Raluka's room, all he heard was the sound of his own faint footsteps. "Maiden Raluka, Sareth wishes to see you." Raluka stepped out of her room, and steppe into Sareth's dark room. "Yes, my dear father." Raluka sweetly spoke. " I need you to enter the tallest tower tomorrow night, when the sun is setting. I need you to steal my precious Emerald from the evil sorcerer, Valthar." "But fathe-" "Shh shh. Do not question me, my sweet sweet Raluka." Sareth spoke crisply. "I will do as you say," Raluka cleared her voice. "Go, leave my room now." Sareth grinned, showing his sharp fangs.

Answer 1

To be quite honest, I would have been more interested if I could pronounce the actual names of the characters.

It does not sound like a bad plot. Just make it more understandable, please.

Answer 2

It sounds like something that came out of a really popular fantasy novel. I don't mean that in a good way. You need to lead up to this, at this point it just sounds pompous and confusing. Unusual names are okay, in small doses. Take it slow and don't try to make people like it, just be careful with you're writing, it's just a turn off when you jump right into a ridiculous story line like that.