Question:

Do you like these jokes?

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There were three fathers to be in a hospital waiting room, waiting for their babies to be born.

The first nurse comes out and tells the first father, "Congratulations you're the father of twins!" He says, “Great! I am the manager for the Minnesota Twins.”

The second nurse comes out and tells the second father, "Congratulations you're the father of triplets”! He says, "That's cool! I work for 3M."

The third father opens the window and jumps out.

The third nurse comes out, and asks, “Where's the third father?"

One of the other fathers said, "Oh he jumped out the window.”

The nurse asks, "Why?"

He replied, "He works for Seven Up!"

_________________________________

George was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. He opened the door to turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now ‘cause I just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

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11 ANSWERS


  1. funny as h**l


  2. I think they are old

    reminds me of anoold joke too.This guy was about 90 years old and he went to see his doctor because he REMARRIED and his wife is pregnant!

    The doctor wasn't impressed so the old gut ask him ,don't you beleive me.

    The doctor said that the other day he went hunting and left his shotgun at home by mistake, but when he saw the deer, he put up his fingers and said, bang, bang and the deer fell down dead! Do you beleave that?

    The man said, someone else must have shot the deer not you!

    ;;EXACTLY'' said the doctor!!

  3. They are funny.  the second one is the funniest.

    Joe got married.  Everything was going pretty good and one day his wife made him oatmeal for breakfast.  Joe was eating his oatmeal and said. "Honey, there are lumps in this oatmeal."  Joe's wife said, "Joe, I worked hard making that oatmeal and I don't like it that you say there are lumps in it.  Tomorrow I am going to make oatmeal again and if you say there are lumps in it you will not see me for three days."  The next day Joe was eating his oatmeal and said, "Honey, there are lumps in this oatmeal, to.

    Joe told me, "And she was right!" I didn't see her for 3 days.  Then on the fourth day, I saw her a little bit out of the right eye."

  4. LOL I looove the second joke =D.

    I don't really have a good one compared to yours, but here's a one liner:

    Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight you can see what religion they are.

  5. works at 7up.. i dont get it....

  6. Very funny, however the second one is not just a joke.  It is a real story that happened.  The old man was charged and fined for false reporting and the people,burgling his garage were busted.

  7. Lmao those were really funny.=)

  8. ROFL! very funny!

    a passenger said to his bus mate "tiz hot" the other said "am Jack"

    two drunken people were quarreling. some one passed by them and want to stop them. they said to him you r our judge, the third person agreed. they asked him is this the sun or the mooon

    he replied I am not from this area

  9. Joke!

    One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.

    When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way

    from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for!

    dinner tonight." He then

    blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang

    He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulp mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it

    feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

    My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

    I fainted.


  10. I posted some jokes here http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

  11. The truth about copers.

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