Do you like this,,its me ,?

Question

Never mind she said

All the time she has no argument,

All the time she is happy

She never gets upset

Or hurt

Because that’s what she doesn’t allow herself to be

Days

And weeks, years she is happy

Everyone must see her smile on her face

When she puts on her pc

She starts to write and cry

She throws the mask away

She wishes

That she is strong enough

To tell everyone

That she is angry

Hurt

Sad

And can’t face another day in her life anymore

But how can she possibly do that

When the next morning comes

She starts to smile again

Take the burdens

Give

And laugh

And be the sweet as ever

Time gone

And she is no more the sweet

She cant take it anymore

She works now hard to set limits for others

She is angry

And hurt and she cant stop yelling

No matter what fear she faced

Its over now

She is no more the silent

The happy

All the c**p

Went a way with wind

Answer 1

Its just my opinion but I think you should cut everything after 'everyone must see her smile' and then give us a visual of what she's like.  For example:  

everyone must see her brittle smile

like the thinnest ice over an angry winter

or

everyone must see her smile and detour

avoiding the plainest wreckage

Anyway, you don't have to like either of those--but just get the idea.  When you tell us about her making herself smile you don't also need to tell us that she isn't really smiling on the inside--you loose power by over-explaining it.  Convey the pain of the falseness she feels more completely.  Save her transformation for another poem.  Thats my bit.

Answer 2

i liked it until the end and i kinda lost you.

Answer 3

wow, that's really good! It has alot of emotion to it! I love writing poetry too! ♥

Answer 4

wow is very nice congrulations!!!!

helppp meeeeehttp://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

looks like a shopping list