Do you like this POEM called Poets Wonderland?

Question

"Maria in Poet`s Wonderland"

Musical notes dance to life.

Cerebrum wakes to bright light.

Imagination’s sprinting.

Neonman installed the light.

Is this Poets Olympics?

Hope I could finish this race,

Rhymes are dwelling in this place,

Metaphors flipping in place,

Brain is but a bouncy ball.

Ponders, wonders, thoughts, and all;

Live in Poet`s Wonderland.

Poets’s expand their wings and fly.

Pen`s and keyboards running free.

Wonderland bears hydro fruit,

Hydrating and sweet to taste.

Back to earth, time to awake.

Did I win or lose the race?

8/9/2008 ©Maria Santiago

Answer 1

Juicy juice running down my chin

My friend took me through her looking glass

Alight and aglow

I'm moved

To any square

So cool,m2

Answer 2

it is really good were did this person get the idea to write about this

Answer 3

You did good.

Answer 4

you deserve a medal for this one.  Great idea and imagery running through this. " Ponders, wonders, thoughts and all" is a wonderful line!

Well done.

Answer 5

You are singing well.  Counting syllables is a nice way to start working with meter, but don't forget sounds as you speak the words, the stressed/unstressed.  Hear the beat.  As to rhyme, try not to repeat the same word so often as it distracts.  Rhymezone is a great site for looking for additional rhyming words.  Since you speak 3 languages, you also have an advantage/disadvantage in using words and sounds.  Don't be afraid to mix them especially if they are words that people can phonetically pronounce.  Keep "rapping", free forming sounds to sing.

Answer 6

You finished the race well, punctuation or not.

Answer 7

"Hi!",

How creative. Neonman will love this.

Very creative. written well.

Great imagery.

I * M * P * R * E * S * S * I * V * E!

WELL DONE!

Cheers : )

I had so much trouble posting last night with yahoo breather. It was rediculous. I am about to post one up again in a secound. I tried from half past 6 untill 4 am this morning and only got one post out by a fluke and didn't want to post it. If it comes up with a breather too day, I am going to find another poetry site.

You did a wonderful job with this one. Keep them coming.

Cheers : )

Answer 8

You did fine, I can see the effort you put into it.

Answer 9

You did really finished your race.

It's a beautiful poem.

I loved it!

Light Bright for you!

Answer 10

This was a very fun and good poem. You get stronger with each poem you write. The structure is a big improvement (I hope you take that in a good way :) )

I have been writing the dark stuff tonight, so it was nice to see somethinf cheerful