Do you like this peoms?

Question

AIDS , AIDS, AIDS

It's now a continental disaster in Africa

Millions are perishing

Daily thousands are dying

Hospitals are full of AIDS patients

It's shocking the rate which people are dying

Medical facilities are over-stretched

The African economy being paralysed

Able bodied men and women are perishing

Living the young and the old

Without someone to care for them

Orphans are found everywhere

Africa is perishing

Poverty is increasing daily

Yet Africa is a rich continent

Destitute are found in cities and towns

Streets kids , mothers and father are increasing

The breadwinners are being wiped by AIDS

It's sorrowful , pitiful about the impact of AIDS in Africa

Many organisations are trying to assist

But they are failing

As more and more money is needed

To assist AIDS victims

It's now upon responsibility of everyone

To assist in the prevention of AIDS

The duty is not for governments alone

But for all Africans to unite and fight against AIDS

Let's All Africans promote s*x after marriage

Answer 1

well, you are a very literal writer. this means that it sounds more like an essay. a poem is not a call to action, an essay is. poems are about emotions.

Answer 2

Its good, but I think u need to make it sound more poetic [flowing smoothly].

Answer 3

Its good.

Answer 4

very beutiful. Love how it states the good things in life. And why we are lucky to be alive

Answer 5

why not trying to make it more poetic...i don't like it, it has too much hard terms, like hospital and organisations, nothing really poetic...

but hey it's a good poem to prove a great point, just don't like the style is all.