Do you like this poem? I just needed to write something...?

Question

I thought a felt a bluish flame

Whenever you began to speak

For I loved the way you respected me

And you made my heart so weak

But now you tell me theres another

And in her hands she holds

Your great loving beautiful heart

So grand and loving and bold

So I sit in a quiet state of question

What is this feeling near

Why is my heart so very heavy

Why do I shed a tear

I hope that you will be happy

For now and for all times near

I feel that my soul is fading fast

I no longer hold you dear

I'll try to clear my clouded mind

And think of what we had

But my heart will still die softly

My spirit is forever sad

Answer 1

I absolutely love it! There is a lot of creativity, and I can tell you opened up for it. Overall, it is an excellent poem...I would love to read more of your work! =)

If you wanna rate my poem...

Please answer!!!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

wow that was great!!! It has great expression keep writing!

Answer 3

Its good.

Answer 4

you know when you have extra words, like , that may or may not get in the way of what? commuicating the main idea?

here is that sentence re-written for simplicity and focus;:

You have extra words that get in the way of being clear.

Besides that- the feeling and the visual imagery of "blue flame" is great.

anyway, its just my opinion- everyone has one.

you keep writing and develop your style.

Not everyone can write about their feelings

or even recognize them.

you did well.

I hope you feel better and get on with your life after this break up.

Answer 5

This is really quite good actually.

I have only minor suggestions for improvement:

Correction in line one: I thought I felt a bluish flame

Correction in line five: But now you tell me there's another

Edit last line to read: With my spirit forever sad.

I'd rate this at least at a 9 on a 10 scale.  It's really quite good.  The rhyme and the rhythm are right on.  You tell a nice "love rejected" story and conclude very nicely.  

Answer 6

I did like it. It's very deep and the feeling is almost raw. Keep writing (and s***w the 'corrections')

Answer 7

That's so nice and touching... really lovely. Great work, Miss Poet!