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Question

Anger it provokes me

To do all the stupid things i hate

I aim to kill

Two birds with one stone

When I get to that point

I break down and cry

I didn't want to do it

But I did

And now I feel the guilt

And the horrible pains

Why did it come

Why did he have to do that

Maybe he shouldn't throw stones

In glass houses

Destined to break

Under the tiniest bit of pressure

Maybe I should of said sorry

And went back with him

And dealt with the abuse

So that way I wouldn't be facing death row

Regretting ever stepping foot

In his cheating life

Answer 1

Okay that was a nice attempt but like someone else said poetry isn't about complaining it is about feelings. Near the end it was as if you were trying to imagine a different scenario but it was jumbled and confusing.  Keep trying though everyone has potential. I definetly love your vocabulary. Good Luck :).

Answer 2

It is... deep but I really think it sounds too depressing! sorry! you should try to come up with something less angry!

Answer 3

that was goood !

it sounds like you were dating a guy who abused you and and then he did something illegal and you knew and he threatened to kill you if you told anyone.

if that's the case i'm sorry that happened

:(

anyway as for the poem itself..

while reading your poem i felt the emotion you had while writing this poem.

any good writer wants his or her reader to feel the emotion the author or the characters are feeling or felt.

you DEFINITELY made me feel emotion.

i particularly liked the one part of your poem " maybe he shouldn't throw stones in glass houses, destined to break "

great job :) !

Answer 4

Seems like u wanna kill someone AWSOME

Answer 5

I think it sounds great, because it's probably something you're going through. I kinda feel what you wrote is just an expression that no one else who has yet commented  felt before.

They're all tied up in their poetry, they can't even appreciate another's work..

Answer 6

I feel that u are complaining!!  the poem's sense must be higher. I don't know u have to lead ur idea using a different way!! all what i could feel is complaining!!