Do you like to mess with telemarketers and bill collectors?

Question

As you know, telemarketers can be really pushy and try to do the hard sell, and bill collectors can be extremely rude and downright mean and insulting.

These people are used to dealing with angry people, and usually if you get angry back at them, it turns into a big fight and pulls both people into this mess of shooting barbs back at one another, and lengthens the call.

So, I devised a different way of dealing with these annoying callers.The answer? Start getting really weird with them. That gets them off the phone with you in nothing flat.

For example, once I had this female bill collector call me. She was very confrontational with me, literally raising her voice and bordering on being verbally abusive. She would shout things at me, cut me off and interrupt me, threaten me, etc. So, I ask her, "Pardon me, but I just want to know, how big are your b*****s?" That really takes her off guard and throws her off her game. So she tries to get back into her train of thought, so I say, "Well, personally, I'm a boob man. Would you say you're more like a C-cup, or a D-cup?" Then she gets really ruffled and stutters and gets silent for a moment. She starts up again, and I say, "Oh, have you seen the movie 'Saving Private Ryan?' It's so good? It's about this Army officer at the battle of Normandy, and he's all scared, right? So anyway - this is so cool - he like throws this bomb and...." and I rattle on and on for several minutes, and tell her all about the coolest scenes, etc. Then I'll start into something like, "Do you take fiber to stay regular? Well, have you had a good bowel movement today? About how many times a day do you have a BM?"

Well, you get the picture. LOL!!!! Eventually, Miss Mafioso baracuda lady who is bossing me around and barking words at me, being disrespectful and threatening, ends up being the butt of the joke. You basically have to throw them off their game and off their train of thought - totally and completely change the whole paradigm on them. It's great fun!!!

So how about you? Any good stories?

Answer 1

I know what you mean, I'd be careful with the b***s though, they might want to put a sexual harassment suit on you. But other than that its all good.

I once had a telemarketer trying to sell me cheap internet and she just wouldn't leave me alone so after a while I thought I'd reverse the process and try to become the seller myself. I offered her even cheaper internet for a one off payment of AU$5. She hung up.

An alternative is the "why game", where after everything they say you just reply with "why?"

if they can't take the hint after the 50th consecutive no it is justified to take a slightly more...  scenic route

Answer 2

sounds like you know how to have fun! i like the way you think. my brother likes to imitate them . personally i just hang up, but next time i will give your method ago!

Answer 3

I just want to hang all telemarketers for making my phone useless. I don't even answer my phone any more. I just let machine answer it for me.

Answer 4

Lovely. Another approach that works is to say to them "Your kidding me.Your from U-Tube aren´t you. Your recording this. When will you be posting it." and whatever they say just keep going back to those statements that they are recording for U-Tube. Eventually leave by saying "Must go my computers calling me"

Answer 5

HAHAHA YES!

Apparently some deadbeat had my phone number before I did, I get bill collectors calling me ALL the time, so I often speak to them in foreign languages, play irritating noises to them, ask them annoying questions, play games with them, talk in funny voices and accents, etc... sometimes, if it's after 7 I have free minutes, I'll say, sure, I'll go get them, then I will just leave the phone on the table for 15 minutes and make them waste THEIR time hahaha.

Answer 6

I really like what you did put them in awkward situations and stuff. Telemarketers are great when i can't be bothered talking to them i just say im going to go get my dad and then i put the phone down and leave it for about 15mins and then I come back and make a deeper voice and then tell them im extremely interested and say im just getting my credit card and leave them for 30mins this wastes 45mins of there time and surprisingly they are sometimes still on the line and if they still are i stop being mean i feel sorry for them and just keep haggling them down for a lower price until it's just really really stupid price and there really annoyed and then after all that i say i have forgotten what the item is and they tell my and i say sorry im not interested. I've also put the phone up to the TV and told them they could listen to the cricket one of them actually thanked me for doing it. I also tell them about my day which is fun because i interrupt them when they try and speak. But my favorite one is pretending to sell them another item basically acting like a telemarketer its really fun its the best if there a company and you act like your there rival competitors its really good

Answer 7

Tell them "please Hold" and just leave the phone on the table

When you hear a beepbeep , you know you can hang the phone up again.

A friend of mine from Holland came to Australia, and brought his mobile phone with him. He received a call on his mobile from a marketing company. ( he had an international number for his phone)

Realising that this was going to cost them a fortune, he let them keep talking for at least 40 minutes, before telling them no, so that they had to pay international rates to mobile.

Answer 8

YES! Telephone marketers especially, we say please hold and put the phone against the speakers of the laptop and play a song off youtube or something really loudly. XD

Answer 9

no, if you get on the [do not call list ]they will quit calling you.

Answer 10

Thats terrible!! Do you realise that people do not do this by their own will, it is when they are truly desperate that they are forced by the desire to live that they take up the job...its really horrible to torment them like this, all my sympathy is with them!