Do you llike my poem?

Question

Here goes:

This was meant to be a poem

But i didn't know where to start

This was meant to be a poem

flowing from the depths of my heart

This was meant to be poetic

It was meant to sound poetic

But everything i write

Seems so d**n synthetic.

Comments appreciated! thx...

Answer 1

Nice! Well done, I reckon that came from the heart. Keep trying.

Answer 2

the 1st stanza was great! um the next one...dont have the last word as poetic in two lines right after eachother

but i don't really understand why ur writing is like saying it was supposed to be a poem ur good at rhyming try to write about something like love or h8 thats always easier good luck!!

Answer 3

Did it mean to be a poem?

Answer 4

It Doesn't Really Flow. And Since When Has Poetic Rhymed With Synthetic?...i.e It Doesn't

Answer 5

Inspiration comes unexpectedly, I cannot speak for others but I find on some days the words flow and on others, forming a sentence a tad arduous. Try again another day, when so inspired by life, love, living, or a need to create coherent rhyming sentences ..

Answer 6

WOW..its not often I am overcome with indifference, I don't know what to say

Answer 7

Change the last word of it to pathetic and you are getting closer

Answer 8

That was quite good

Shows your in the mood

Answer 9

marks out of 10??

-1

Answer 10

I kinda like it ..............

don't stop here, see if you can do at least 2 more verses.  It kinda leaves you up in the air.  Not that that is a bad thing.  But I wanted a little more.

Answer 11

'This was meant to be poetic

It was meant to sound poetic'

Shouldn't use poetic twice

'Seems so d**n synthetic'

Be better to use 'pathetic' as it sums up your effort

Answer 12

Pathetic.

False, trite, self-aware and neither clever nor funny.

Keep trying our patience. (Strong)

Answer 13

How about?

I want to write a poem,

but I don't know where to start.

I need to write a poem

and express my inner heart.

I want to be poetic,

but each little line I write

seems just so d**n pathetic

and so weak, banal and trite.

But I will keep on writing

'til I master this fine art,

and then I'll come out fighting

and express my inner heart.

Something to give you a head start perhaps?

Dedicated to hydropro.