Do you love your child so much that you are absolutely terrified and paranoid of something happening to them?

Question

Most mothers DO fear something happening to their beloved children.. but when is it too much and is there any way to tame the fear down?

I've never felt a love sooo deep for another person, as I do my son.. all I have to do is look at him for my heart to skip beats from being completely overwhelmed with love..

And I bring myself to tears by just considering how I'd feel without him (if I somehow, GODFORBID, lost him). Sometimes I wonder if maybe what I feel is a bit extreme or overboard compared to other mothers.

Does anyone else feel this way? If so, how are we supposed to cope with the unknown nature of life and prepare ourselves for anything to happen?

My greatest fear ever is losing my son.. its an almost crippling fear.. what are we to do?

Answer 1

I enjoy every moment I have with him.  I don't let negative fears consume me, otherwise I wouldn't be able to function.

Perhaps you need to talk to a doc if the fear is "crippling".  Sounds like an issue.

Answer 2

live life to the fullest with no regrets

Answer 3

No.  But I worry about Peanut getting hit by a car.

Answer 4

i know how you feel. i lost my first due to him being born at 23 weeks gestation. he was alive and we had to make the decision to disconnect him and let him go. losing a child makes the possibilities of losing another one all too real.

when i was pregnant with my daughter there was the chance she could be born early, and i almost drove myself crazy thinking 'she could be born today at 20 and die. ok im 30 weeks shes more viable.' etc etc. i worried so much about her while i was pregnant that when she was born i had this weird dream that a tsunami was going to hit where i live and i knew we were all going to die so i had to figure out a way to kill her so she wouldnt drown.

i know that if my daughter were to die itd be harder on me then it was for my son because ive watched her grow (shes a month and a half now) and everything, and ive become more attached. its not that i love her more then my son, but its hard to explain.

you need to realize that its normal to fear for your child. as a mother its almost a requirement lol! how old is your son? if hes a newborn i can understand the almost crippling fear at times, its normal. but you have to just relax and trust yourself, trust God, and just be a good parent to your son (which i can see you are).

good luck!

Answer 5

Definitely, I used to be like that all the time, and the only thing I can say is you just need to let it go and not think about it, because the more you think about it the more it's just going to freak you out and isn't helping anyone.

It will always remain one of your biggest fears or maybe your only one, like it is mine to this day my girls are 5yrs old and 3yrs old and I still fear of something happening to them, every parent does. No matter how old they are, they will always be your baby and you will never wont anything to happen to them.

Welcome to Parenthood.

Read my last question, this just happened to me Wednesday night and I'm still getting the shakes over it

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

It sure scared the living daylights out of me, I was a total mess and totally freaked out.

So know no matter what you are feeling right now it is normal and you just need to find a way to not think about the what if's and concentrate on the here and now and make each day count. You're not alone.

Answer 6

Every mother worries and it never ever ends!! I put my trust in God to protect my kids and I pray everyday he will protect them!! We can't let it consume us or we will never enjoy our children!!  Just be grateful for everyday!! Just remember worrying won't change a thing. Do you best to protect your child in everyway you can then leave the rest to GOD!!  

That is how I have coped with anxiety of being a mother...Hope it will help you as well!! Enjoy your babies they grow so fast!!

Answer 7

i worry alot about my kids, but its just part of parenthood the feeling will never go away.

Answer 8

This is no good for anyone.  You'll ruin him.  Let him be a man and then you don't have to as far as worry.

Answer 9

You take a deep breath and keep living.  I love my children with the same intensity that you describe.  I too, have found myself caught in fear....especially when they were babies.  But you can't let that color their world.  You can't let your fear take over your life and everything in it.   If you do you are going to drive your child away from you....and what you fear most,  loosing him,  will happen one way or another.  

One of they ways that I coped with my fear is journaling.  I found just writing things down very therapeutic.   I quit watching the news or reading the newspapers for a while as well.  No news is far better than bad news most of the time!

One of the biggest challenges we face as parents is learning how to have, love and let go of our children.  Our job is to raise them to be independant, strong, compassionate, loving adults that will do the right thing.   If we allow our fear to overcome us and take over our lives we raise children that are totally dependant and full of fear.  They will never reach out to follow their dreams and be the best that they can be.  They will never be truly happy and will fall onto the wrong paths of life.   Not only will the child suffer as a result,  but our partner in life (or spouse) will also suffer at the hands of our fear.   It could ruin any relationship you have with any member of your family.

So,  take a deep breath,  love your son,  and raise him to be the man he was ment to be despite your own fear.  It's okay to put him on the school bus for kindergarden and cry after the bus has turned the corner.  It's okay to cry when he gets his learner's permit when he turns 16.     It's okay to cry when he graduates,  breaks up with his first girl friend,  rides his two wheeler the first time without training wheels....smile through those tears,  hide them in your pillow or the nearest bathroom.    

Trust in your faith,  hope and love to see him as a happy, healthy wonderful adult.    Learn the serenity prayer and say it often!   Good luck and Best wishes.

Answer 10

i am so that way. i terrifie myself by always thing the worst and picturing what can happen to my daughter and grandchildren. thats why  i will be moving to where they live.

Answer 11

Dicknose is right, you have to as far as let go.

Answer 12

I have the same thoughts and fears.  I am terrified of someone kidnapping or otherwise hurting my daughter.  This fear is so strong that I think I probably come across as uber paranoid to some people.  Trouble is, my parents weren't overly vigilant of me when I was growing up and things happened as a result.  I am now twice as vigilant with my own child to compensate I think.  For the most part however, I can keep these fears in check and maintain a healthy approach to this kind of thing.  Sometimes it is overwhelming but I try to remind myself that these fears are groundless and I need to just be watchful, not paranoid.  It's a tough balance some days.

Answer 13

I would be absoultely terrified if my Daughter Died.I love her so much.If something were to happen to her i'd be tramatized for life.

What you just need to do is cherish every moment you spend with your child.If you yell at hime apologize and tell him why you did it.Just give him alot of love,and let him know you love him  very often =]

Answer 14

A parent has that protective nature but you should be focusing on the positive. Children are curious and fearless at young ages, but if you are overprotective and didn't let him explore things on his own you would be doing more harm then good. Relax and be there to guide and love your child as you do. You need to be strong and confident for your child. You are denying yourself and him the joy of everyday to be so fearful. Pray!! Maybe join a mommies group on line. Some times just talking will relieve your constant focus of the worst.

Answer 15

I also have the same fear, when I watch the news about children missing or being abused I get really upset and I think about my daughter's saftey. I have talked about this with my parents and they felt the same way with me when I was young. I guess, we have to do all that we can to protect our children and teach them good morals and educate them on safety. I don't want to let her out of my sight, but there are going to be times where we have to ease up just a little.

Answer 16

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!  

At one point my daughter and I had to move into a slightly bad side of town.  I used to sleep in a chair that I'd put in her doorway every night, so that no one could get to her without going through me.

I would tell my family that if something ever happened to her (and god forbid I lost her) my heart would simply shut off.  Without her it just wouldn't beat anymore, I was sure of it.

A mothers love...It's paralyzing at times and it can be completely overwhelming.  What ARE we to do?  Good question.

Answer 17

I only feel that way every second of every minute, of every hour of every day, of every week, of every year. =) There is no way to make that feeling go away. It's such an undescribeable and overwhelming feeling. I get choked up when I think about any happening to my child. You can never prepare for losing your child. There really isn't a way. I mean, you can't just love your child less so that when something happens to them, it won't hurt as much.

My daughter about a week ago was hiding from me and my husband one night...anyway, after a while of looking, and finding her clothing behind a bush in the backyard, we called the police, and they found her in the pool (it was night time). Wow, biggest scare of my life. =)

~Kate ♥