Do you love your children more than your partner?

Question

I have spoken with my mother in-law and she insists that once our baby is here i will and my partner will love our baby a lot more than we love eachother.

I dont understand this at all! We are going to love our baby with all our heart like we do each other but why would we love the baby more? Wouldnt it be the same amount of love? I know its a different type or love.

Does anyone feel like this? Sorry im probably just letting my mother in-law get to me which she always does but i dont understand!

Answer 1

Hopefully what she meant to say was that once the baby arrives you'll find yourself only having time for the baby and may think to yourself "when was the last time we did anything as just a couple". My husband and I love our boys with all our hearts. My hubby learnt fast that a new born needs a lot of love and attention. Anything new will take time to adjust but the kind of love that makes a baby doesn't disappear when parenthood arrives

Answer 2

It is a different type of love but you have to really sit down and ask your self if you had to choose between your children or your partner which would you choose?  I have to be honest that I would always choose my children I know that in my heart and I am honest about that. Even when i was married when my first son was born I felt from that moment on that I would give my life for his and if I ever felt I had to make that ultimate choice of which one that I would choose my boys.  It isn't that i love my boys more just that it is such a strong motherly love that I just couldn't pick my partner over my children.

Answer 3

I would have to say yes. If it ever came down to choosing I know for a fact I would choose my children over my partner. Don't get me wrong I love him with all my heart, but with them growing inside of me for 9 months just dots the I for me.

Answer 4

You do love your baby more than anything else in the world. It's an indescribable feeling, but it shouldn't be looked at as loving it more that your spouse.   It's a totally different kind of feeling. Not comparable in my book!  Don't let you MIL get to you. They ALL have a way of doing that! lol! I try really hard to ignore the comments from mine :)

Congrats! Good luck & God Bless!

Answer 5

Oh god! Mother in laws are infamous for ninja mind tricks. ha ha. When you have a baby, which i dont have, but my opinion is you will love it unconditionally. No matter what they do to s***w up, you will be there for them. They are a part of you and that is why you love them so much. A spouse is different, it is a conditional love. If they s***w up REALLY bad you can leave them, not your kids. that might be what she meant by it

Answer 6

I think you will love the baby more..its just in our nature.

Answer 7

For me, my son comes first, then my husband and myself are seconds. The love that you feel for your child is somewhat different from the love that you feel for your significant other.

Answer 8

I used to love my kids more, and i definitaly knew it. now, i dont know, maybe me and my partner just grew closer. i love them all equly.

Answer 9

Honestly its not THAT serious. You guys will love the baby and love each other too, bottom line. But yes, it is a different kind of love but unconditional nonetheless.

Answer 10

the two love you are talking about are so different. Don't worry what your mother-in-law said is not correct. Congrats for your baby!

Answer 11

What a horrible thing for your mother in law to say. I don't love my kids more than my husband, just differently like you said.

Trying to say that you love one more is like trying to say you love one of your kids more than the other.

Answer 12

dont worry about it,she probably is just trying to get under your skin

Answer 13

No, she is wrong.  She is speaking of herself and her own experience and I'm guessing that she didn't have the greatest marriage or she wouldn't feel that way.  You are completely right...you will continue to love eachother every bit as much and in many ways your love for eachother will grow as more people to love has a way of expanding the heart.  Enjoy your whole family and love eachother.

I really don't think that you love your child more than your spouce.  You love them differently and the love for a child can't end, but the love for a spouse can....that is if problems arrise, but based on a good marriage....and the love staying strong...you will not love your child more...just differently ...in a protective way.

Answer 14

Very tricky question. The only way i can think to answer is that they are two different types of love. Two very different types of love. Not often do you hear that a mother or father stop loving their child. But you do often hear couples who stop loving each other. Hence divorces. Usually even if you're really really really mad at a child, you still love them with all your heart.

Your mother in law might just be trying to warn you, maybe she had a bad experience... maybe she knows that your husband might get into a huge fight with you, while still showing affection for your child... and she doesn't want you to be hurt by it???? mom in laws are an enigma.

Answer 15

You would KILL for your partner.

But you would DIE for your child.

Yes, you WILL love your child more.  Your partner is replaceable ... your child is not.

ADDED:  No, it's not a terrible thing to say.  Once you have a child, you'll understand what I mean.  Until then ... you cannot possibly understand.

Answer 16

Haha, ya i've heard that too, but i kno that in my heart i could never choose between the two. If me and my husband have kids someday, i could NEVER see myself loving my child more than my husband! Especially since he would be the one that helped give me that child and helped support him/her. I would continue to love him to death with or with out a child, but with a child i will luv both of them to death. Hope that makes sense to you.

Answer 17

You would replace your partner if they died (or it would be possible too for most ppl) you would never think of replacing your child.

they are different types of love but one never wanes.  It never fails.  The bond between child and parent is never beaten.

Answer 18

almost impossible to explain. It is a different kind of love. But it is not something that will come betweent the two of you. As a parent the immense pleasure and happiness you derive from seeing the love your partner also has for your child is amazing. The love you have for your child is one of the most amazing, fulfilling, intense and wonderful feelings - you both will feel the same and congrats on your impending little buddle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 19

They are two different types of love that can not even be compared......For one your child *this* could never be without your spouse, secondly your child is a part of you and your spouse combined.

And just to add having more than one child does NOT divide love it multiplies it ;)

Answer 20

What I learned is that "Men" show their emotions more for the "women", while "women" show their affection more for the "children". This is just the way society has taught us to show emotions or love for one another.

Don't get me wrong..........each member in a family unit loves each other..............however...........whe... children are involved, women will gravitate more to giving more open and visible LOVE, while the men will give a more financial or society driven LOVE to the children.

In the midst of al of this, the MAN and WOMAN will want to continue to explore their own LOVE for one another.

So to give you my perception..............I will have to say...........that yes there are different phases of LOVE for each person in the family and at times it may SEEM that the parents love the children more than each other.

Answer 21

Yes, we are the only responsible for our child. No one is not responsible. We love our baby, because this is our own blood.

Answer 22

Well when you have kids it is a different thing. If you were to ever separate from your partner you woudl understand this better. If you ever had to chose between the two then your love for your child and your parental will to protect them will be more powerful.

I don't know if it is a love more thing persay tho. Yes you will have a strong family love and you will love your other half as you always have if not more. BUT you will have a stronger love for your child.