Do you love your second child the same as the first?

Question

Me and my husband are obsessed with our first born daughter. I am worried that the second born will not get the same feelings because we love our first so much. I am really worried that my husband will always love the first the most. He wanted children so badly and when we had her, she came out looking just like him and acts just like him too. It makes me confused and a little sad. Second one due any day now...

Answer 1

None of us want to say it but let's just admitt it we all have favorites. i, myself, have special qualities about bolth my kids that i like.i love them bolt. (but if i were to preffer which one i'd want to watch, it'd be the second one, she behaves more often)

nevertheless there is always room for more love in a family.don't fret ,everything will work out just fine.

Answer 2

Your first born always holds a special place in your heart.  You don;t love the second one any less and they are just as wonderful!  As soon as they are born, you love them as much as the first, if not a little different!  Just like your mom and dad.  I assume you love both of them the same, but in different ways!  It is hard to put into words, but the love is there!!

Answer 3

My dear MOM-to-be....

I've had also 2 children & I can reassure you: You will love them both!!! Just maybe in "different aspects"...BUT: always remember : LOVE them unconditionally...because they are part of you & your husband both!!

I wish you an uncomplicated delivery & a healthy baby!!! All my love to the 4 of you from Germany.... Annette***

Answer 4

That is a common worry for every parent but trust me once your are holding that new little baby in your arms you will see that you love it just as much as you love your first born. Good luck and Congratulations!

Answer 5

You will love them both as much. And you don't even know your second child to make that statement. Hasn't been born yet. Father and daughters are normally closer then father and sons, Sons are more closer with mothers.

The love with be the same, but there is always favoritism. Its up to the parents to control that.

Answer 6

Quantity wise--Yes without a doubt.

Consistency wise-the love is completely different because the child is completely different.

Its like any living symbiotic relationship--no two are exactly alike.

Answer 7

I'll admit it, there's just a different feeling towards your first.  BUT don't let that discourage you.  Although it may be different, you will both love your second jsut as much.  No matter who was born first, both are a part of both you and your husband.  They'll both continue to amaze you, just in different ways.  Good luck!!

Answer 8

No - your love for both of them just expands! You love them equally - although each is an individual and needs to be parented a little differently. What works for one doesn't work the same for the other. Esp if you are having a boy this time.

We had 3 girls and finally a son - we adore each of our children for themselves, there's no comparing we love this one more than another. There are no favorites, although my personality and my husband's don't mix with them all the same. I have an easier time relating to my oldest daughter and my son, but I love them all the same.

Answer 9

I worry about that too.. I just know how it feels to even "think" that a parent loves a sibling more than another.. it's heartbreaking. I've thought about it like this.. I love my mom.. AND I love my dad. I don't love one anymore than the other. It's equal. I may get along with my Dad moreso than my Mom.. but that doesn't mean I love her any less.

God bless you and just hang in there! I think God makes our hearts even bigger when we have another child! :)

Answer 10

Honestly the bonding with the second one is more difficult. With the first baby all you have to focus on is the baby and you (as all parents do) will at some time say, "I didn't know it was possible to love anyone this much." With the second one the whole 'love' thing has happened once so that emotion isn't as strong.

My 2nd daughter was probably a month and a half old before I finally got that feeling. We were at my SIL's house and my 1st daughter was out and about with family and Baby #2 and I just sat on the couch and for the first time I just really stared into her eyes and it was just the two of us- no one else around.

Do I love them the same? Absolutely. Did it take a bit more to bond the second time around? Absolutely. Is it all worth it? You betcha. ;)

Best of luck to you and congrats on your upcoming arrival!