Do you make your child say yes/no mam/sir & Mr. & Mrs. to adults?

Question

That is how I was raised, does anyone raise that way anymore

Answer 1

I have no kids, but for the most part I raised to call people by first names, and I'd use sir and mam for authorities, Mr & Mrs. for teachers, yes and no lol thats a given, for the most part anyone that I was on my free time, not at their job, I either called them by first name if young or old or their last, Mr and Mrs. sometimes..

In my opinion I think I would find it more offensive to be called Mr./Mrs or Sir/Mam (except with strangers with sir n mam) when your out in the casual, I understand it at work and school, I think its more relaxing to be called by a first name and sometimes a last name with nothing infront of it.

Answer 2

No and I wasn't raised that way either. We were taught to say "No thank you" or just "Thank you" Saying sir or mam just seems slightly demeaning.

Answer 3

My parents tried to start that with me when I was 9 or 10. I thought it was ridiculous and awkward, and refused. But now in hindsight, I say their mistake was *not* wanting me to speak that way, but not starting it from the beginning. It is absolutely right and reasonable for a child to speak with respect to their elders (and while it isn't necessary for an adult to use a title when addressing a child, they should STILL speak with respect); however, you will not have much success if you try to start later in life.

I can say that I will most certainly teach my children to speak that way. I am personally very put off by people who don't know me (e.g. customer service people) who assume they can/should call me by my first name and by parents who introduce me to their children using my first name. I mean, at the VERY LEAST, I would want the child to say Miss Firstname...

I don't care so much about ma'am/sir, unless they were in a situation where they do not know an adult's name and need to address them (e.g. "Excuse me, sir" as opposed to "Hey!").

Answer 4

Well, I would say when a child speaks to an adult he/she should call them mr/mrs but if the adult says "oh please call me (the first name) then it is ok to call the adult that. If an adult introduces themselves and says their first name it is perectly ok to call them that. I this sir and mam is a little too much. So...basicaly it is good to call them mr or mrs until the adult says otherwise

Answer 5

yes my kids call other adults by Mr. and Mrs. it's called respect and it's sad that parents don't find value in that anymore.

My boys also refer to even me as ma'am at times. Not all the time but if I tell them "I want you to go clean your room" they will respond with "Yes ma'am". Most kids argue...if my kids start to argue with me I tell them "the only thing I want to hear come out of your mouth when I tell you to do something is "yes ma'am" so that's what they do.

why would somene think that is too much? How can you have too much respect for people? weird.

EDIT: momof4...I live in Connecitcut and my kids use those terms and it doesn't sound odd. I don't understand why a child being respectful would sound odd no matter where you live. It's as though you are saying if you live in the north it's acceptable to be rude. I don't get that.

Answer 6

I ask the adults in question what they would like my child to call them. One of our neighbours prefers "Mr" and the other prefers his first name.

Nobody in England has said "yes sir" other than to schoolteachers in the last 50 years. I wouldn't know where to look if a child called me "mam" and would immediately tell them they didn't need to.

Answer 7

No i absolutely do NOT require my children to call people ma'am/sir or even Mrs./Mr. That's a very antiquated concept that forced people to show respect based on age instead of merit. Children are second to nobody in this world. And requiring them to address adults as superiors is a very bad idea. It teaches them that every adult is above them and creates issues with who to trust and listen to.  Would you require your child to call a pedophile Sir/Ma'am or Mr/Mrs? What about a drug dealer? Where exactly do you draw the line on who deserves that respect and who doesn't? And how do you teach a small child where that line is?

Answer 8

no

Answer 9

My son is three and he calls everyone 'Man' or 'Lady'. But when he is actually talking to them, he will call them 'Mr' and 'Mrs'. I never told him to, he just does - it's respectful and quite cute. Even when he doesn't know their name, he just addresses them like this.

Answer 10

I have my children say yes Mommy, yes Daddy, and they also address adults by their last name using Mr. or Mrs. - when an adult prefers to be called by their first name I'll let my kids address them by their first name with Mr. or Ms. in front of it. Respect is very important in our house, especially respect for authority.

Answer 11

It is good etiquette and teaches kids respect for elders.  Kids often need that kind of structure so they can learn the value of respect.

Answer 12

I have a ten year old daughter and my daughter was raised to say it, just like I was.  It helps that she sees me say it to my elders still.  I know what you mean, though.  There doesn't seem to be a lot of people like us out there...

Answer 13

Yes.I don't make them say mam/sir. If it's a friends house, They say Yes Mrs.______ or No Mr.________.

Answer 14

Ma'am and Sir have always been more commonly used in the South than the North; in New England it honestly would sound pretty odd.  I don't think I've ever heard a kid use those terms except when traveling in Virginia or farther south.

I do tell my kids to call people "Mr or Mrs. Lastname" unless the adult tells them to call them something else.  Many adults prefer to be called by their first name, and I think the polite thing to do is to call people by what they want to be called, but I think the default until you're told otherwise is Mr. or Mrs. Lastname.  Most adults do ask my kids to call them by their first name, and that's fine with me.  I prefer to be called by my first name, as well.

Answer 15

No--I  don't see any reason for that. Respect yes--but that is too much.

This is the kind of thing some people like to do--confuse form over substance. You can call someone "sir" and still hate and disrespect them.

While this sort of thing is fine in the military, families are not a military camp--it is terribly antiquated--and does not promote respect in any way.

Answer 16

I'm a 17-year-old guy, and in the community I've been raised in (church, school, neighborhood) we call all the adults by their first names.

However, I have to admit, sometimes it feels weird and disrespectful, even though I've been doing it all my life.

Answer 17

My son calls adults by their formal name, Mrs Jones or Mr Smith. If he is "friendly" with an adult, like the old lady across the road or my friend from work, he adds a title appropriate to their age, Nanny Bett, or Aunty Linda etc.

He doesn't call me ma'am, but he will call his father Sir if he realized he screwed up big time and daddy is cross. He's a smart kid.

We called all adults that were friends, aunty or uncle when we were children. I still call my mothers next door neighbours Aunty Marge and Uncle Andrew and I am 38.

Answer 18

I have everyone call me by my first name.  I don't like the separation that titles give.  This has been a shift not just in child-rearing but in our culture as a whole.  50 years ago someone would call their boss or clients Mr. Smith, but now we call them Bob.  Corporations found that a friendly environment made people feel more open to reasonable discussion and improved productivity by keeping a happier environment.  This also brought the shift from business dress to business casual dress.  The same psychology applies to home and family dynamics - it is controlling the language of the debate so to speak.  I want my children/cousins/nieces and nephews to feel comfortable coming to me or my husband if they have a problem.  I'm only 28, so I haven't had the time to see a lot of results, but with my nieces and nephews I have noticed that they bring their problems, questions, etc to my husband and I more than other relatives that live closer or are more available.  I'm sure that isn't just because of the name thing, but I think it helps them feel closer to us.  As for what other adults are called, I let them make that decision based on what they are comfortable with and what is appropriate in the situation.

Answer 19

I don't, no. I was taught to respect elders no matter what. When an adult was rude to me, I was expected to be polite. When my grandpa provoked me, I was only embarrassing the family by getting angry. I was expect to say 'please' and 'thank-you' 'mr' and 'mrs' to every adult. I was on medication by the time I was 21. It took me till my 30's before I could speak my mind, stand up for myself, and get off medication.

So no. I teach my kids to respect those that respect them. To speak their mind with manners. And to walk away from those that hurt them. If the person that makes them feel bad or hurts them won't leave them alone... they can be as rude as they want.

Incidentally, my older child calls me 'ma'am' and says please and thank-you consistently. She even calls me 'ma'am' which I never taught her to do. She is very repsectful.

Answer 20

Well my son is only 3 but I make him say "please" and "thank you".

When he gets older he will address his relatives "Aunt __ & Uncle ___" and won't call them by just their names (as some families do.) Also, I hope they respect their friends' parent by "Mr. & Mrs. ___".

I'm not going as ar as "mam/sir" but they will say "yes thank you" or "no thank you".

Answer 21

No, I teach them to respect adults though.  And they call my friends (which are really the only adults they speak to) Ms. (and whatever their name is) and same with Mr. They also in preschool do the same thing.  I also very much emphasis on please, thank you, excuse me, and your welcome.