Do you make your future partners suffer because of your ex partners mistakes?

Question

Rewind the Clock 5 years, you where in love, it was perfect, all the sudden your "perfect partner" cheats on you, leaves you, or disappears on you for no reason you can figure out, so you become insecure, afraid of committing, then fast forward to the present, you meet the most wonderful person, and they think you are too, but since you have this fear you become controlling, deceitful, manipulative, because you think you do not deserve this love or the same thing will happen again.

How many of you are guilty of this action and what where the consequences of it?

Answer 1

Well, now we know why gold digger thinks men are lesser forms of life.

That clears up alot of questions

Answer 2

Great question. I think we all have to be vigilant not to let the past cloud our judgement of the present. This is a pretty tall order though, and most people don't even recognise it as a problem for them.

To broaden this into the context of G&WS, I think this is one of the problems facing many women whose main interest in feminism is as a covert revenge on men. If you could see into their past I think its a safe bet that there has been some sort of abuse from a man there. Andrea Dworkin is an excellent example of this. Some people just get over abuse, some go to therapy, but I guess some take it out on the world.

Answer 3

Seems to me you are making yourself suffer by being overly self protective.

Learn from your past , it should be educational , not crippling.

Judge each guy on his own merit they're not your ex (  yet  )

Be aware , not every fulfilling relationship has to be a heavy duty commitment.

Also be aware that odds are, sometime in the future , you'll leave some guy asking the same question you are now.

With risk comes reward, if you are not willing to risk, the reward must not be too important.

Answer 4

There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee:

"Fool me once...shame on...shame on you.  You fool me you can't get fooled again."  -GW Bush

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBm5ZSWbD...

Once bitten, twice shy.  This is the reason some of us men quit worrying about love.  Love is a painful way to die.  s*x is a lot more fun.

Answer 5

Each guy I am with is a new adventure. I don't compare them or expect a new one to do the same things as past ones.

Answer 6

Yes, I am guilty of this.  Not that I have become controlling, deceitful or manipulative, but I may just be a little insecure where as I do not allow myself to get too close to anyone, or let them get too close to me, because I do fear it will happen again... and that is the last thing I want to go through again.  =S