Do you need to wear all black to a funeral?

Question

I am attending a funeral for a co-worker of mine who's grandfather passed away. She was raised by him, so she is really upset.I'm leaving work to go to the funeral, then coming back to work.. I work in retail so I can't really wear a skirt or open toed shoes..I have a nice pair of dark gray pants and black boots...can I wear a lavender shirt to match the light pin stripes in the pants? It's a dressier shirt..I just don't have any dark shirts and the ones I have do not match these pants..All my other dress clothing are skirts...whats appropriate?

Answer 1

There is no set color for funerals anymore. The outfit you want to wear sounds fine.  

Answer 2

All black is no longer required, but it's still best to wear subdued colors. Avoid warm colors. I think lavender is probably okay.

Answer 3

No, you do not need to wear all black.  However your choice of attire should reflect the somber occasion.  For instance, no bright colors or wild prints.  Dress conservatively & you'll do fine.

Answer 4

You dont have to, but it is a sign of respect.

Answer 5

if your a girl, then why cant you wear a black dress?wearing black at a funeral is a show of respect.

edit- Lavender??? are you people freaking serious?

Answer 6

no you don't have to wear all black. that was in the old days. nowadays you usally wear dark clothes. a black and white dress or skirt is good. your outfit sounds fine too.

Answer 7

Yo can wear whatever and what you have mentioned sounds just fine. Plus you are there as a support and what you are wearing holds no meaning to the actual being there. :0 God bless.

Answer 8

Lavender sounds fine.

the most important thing is that you care enough to attend and that you care enough to be concerned about what you wear.

Answer 9

Ok... I understand that everyone says that wearing black is a sign of respect, but please do a little research with your friend to make sure what is and is not appropriate.  I have standing orders that when I do pass on, nobody is to wear black, and in fact, I would prefer hawaiian shirts and flip flops.  I've never worn a suit a day in my life, so it would be pretty hypocritical for me to do it when meeting my maker.

As some of the other posters have mentioned, if it's good enough for "the office" then it should be good enough for the "traditional" funeral.

Good Luck...

Answer 10

I have been to a few funerals and have noticed a lot of women wear skirts and dresses. But nowadays anything is fine. You are there to pay your respects and be there for your friend so as long as you are dressed appropriately then you can even wear a little bit of colour. But mostly anything dark in colour is the norm. :)

Answer 11

I think as long as the clothes have a black backdrop, it doesn't matter.  I wore a flowered skirt, with a black background a nd a black shirt to match to my father's funeral.  It was just fine.  Actually people thought I looked very nice.  They won't be looking so much; there is going to be all sorts of greif everywhere.

Answer 12

What is most appropriate is that you want to be there for her.You can wear whatever you want and it certainly doesn't have to be black. If it's appropriate for work, it will do just fine. Yes, you can wear a lavender shirt. I would shy away from brights like red and yellow, but even those would work. You will be there. That's all that really matters.  

Answer 13

The outfit you described is fine.   Generally, you wear darker, subdued colors, nothing bright or festive.  The most important thing is to show up and be there for your friend/relative/coworker to pass along your condolences.

My Granmother recently passed away.  We had people come to the funeral wearing all sort of things, and guess what? Nobody cared what anyone was wearing.  My nephews (the great-grandson of the deceased) football coach came to the calling hours after leaving practice.  He was in his shorts and t-shirt (he was clean not all sweaty and gross), and nobody cared...instead we were touched that the coach took the time out of his schedule to come and pay his respects.

And isn't THAT the real purpose of a funeral?

Answer 14

what you describe sounds fine.  As long as you are wearing conservativly cut clothing there is nothing disrespectful about wearing colors, even white or lavendar.  When my grandfather died, in the dark ages, 1974, I was 16 and wore a white, yes white, dress with a multi colored belt at my mother's urging.  People commented that Poppa would have loved it since services are for the living, not the dead.

Answer 15

Not anymore. Now you can wear a white blouse with those pants, or a beige one. What are your choices?