Do you offer always offer to help pay for meals?

Question

this is how I expect the situation to go (unless we split evenly).

Friend 1: Let me get the check this time.

Friend 2: No I'll help, don't.

Friend 1: No, I insist.

Friend 2: Thanks so much. . .

I feel like if someone offers to pay for the whole meal, it's only polite to offer to help. I think it is rude to immediately accept the offer. At the same time, the person who originally offered should realize friend 2 is just being polite & should insist on paying.

This is how me & my friends always are, going back & forth between who gets the bill. My bf, on the other hand, doesn't know this 'game' & so I always end up paying.

I literally have to do this 'game,' or I feel rude.

Q1: Do you do this?

Q2: agree this is common courtesy?

Q3: opinions?

Answer 1

I agree with everything you have said so there's not much more I could add.

As far as I'm  concerned your boyfriend is taking advantage of your generosity and is leaching off you to put it bluntly.   Proper etiquette is not rocket science.  It just takes a little common sense.  

I hope what you are not saying is that you are always offering to pick up the tab.  Why would you do that?  Especially if he's not bending over backwards to offer to help out. But if he is about to pay for the meal then just keep quiet and stop offering to help. Enjoy his generosity and tell him so.

Your issue will be easily resolved by sitting down and telling your bf how you are perceiving things and that you would like it to be more equitable.

Answer 2

How bout everyone just go dutch? Order thier own thing.

Answer 3

First whoever suggests dinner should be paying for the meal. You should still offer to pay and of course they'll say no. In that case you're clear and you should at least get the tip. You do need to repay them in the future however by suggesting dinner of similar price range.  This is between friends and acquaintances, in the case of your BF the polite thing would be for him to pick up the check at all times unless its his B-day. I know how thats gonna soung but its the polite way.

Answer 4

The first scenario with your friend is how things should go…

But only with people who get this "game" and do pay their share every other time…

As for your boyfriend, I'm not sure whether he is using you or whether he does not know the game… hence, you should not play this game with him. If he says "Let me get the check this time", just say, "Oh, how nice of you, thank you".

Edit:

By the way, I totally agree with the above answerer.

With my friend, it's more like how it is between you and your friend…

And in my culture at least, the guy has to pay unless you have "invited" him for his birthday or something like that…