Do you or don't you go back to an ex?

Question

i liked this guy for absoutely ages, and when we finally got together things were going really great. but then i went on holiday for a month, and when i returned things wern't the same. we broke up, but i've never really got over it. the thing is, i can't block him out, because we have mutual friends and therefore see eachother all the time. i really value him as a friend, and enjoy his company, but recently he's started giving me mixed signals. he'll start acting like we're an item, put arm around me and hug me lots, that kid of thing. he's started ringing me when he's on holiday, and late at night when he's out with his friends. i really don't know what to do because he's hurt me so much in the past, by saying mean comments that are supposedly jokes, but have really got to me. he's also had a go at me for talking to other guys in front of him, making accusations and then apologising and saying that it's only because he feels like i'll always be 'important' to him(WHAT THE h**l?) i've been told my several of our mutual friends he likes me again, and i don't know what i should do about it.

any advice appreciated, thanks xxxx

Answer 1

The answer varies a lot according to why you two broke up in prior time. There is a saying: the devil you know is better than the one that you don't know. If you go back, take a stand, make it on different ground, act like placing him on a three to six months probation.

Answer 2

He wants his cake and eat it. DON'T STOP TALKING TO OTHER MALES FOR HIM. That's ridiculous.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like you are still physically attracted to him. But the deeper feelings are of hurt and betrayal. He'd be a control freak who'd want everything to do with your life but would only involve you in what pleases him in his life. If he's a good friend, stay on speaking terms, but let him know that you can no longer have a relationship beyond friendship. Then move on and find a guy who can cope with your friendship with your ex.

Answer 4

you need to think about why you broke up in the first place?

Answer 5

I went back, but it was strictly for the s*x. I didn't want a relationship.

Answer 6

if you really like and care for him then you should go back out with him. but only if he cares for you too. because trust me i been down that road with a ex and from my experience it hurts to get your heart broke a bunch of times. but believe me girl watch  how he acts around you and how he treats around his friends.

Answer 7

It comes down to one question - has he always treated you with respect?

If the answer is No then do not go back as by doing so, you are lowering your standards.  He can say and do what he likes but at the end of the day he has to be accountable for his actions so if he has hurt you before he may well have to accept that its too late to have another chance with you now as he has proved he is not worthy of your love and affection.

You also need to remind yourself of how you felt before  - if he behaved badly before chances are he will again I am afraid.

Answer 8

It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants and until he does he isn't going to treat you the way that you deserve.  I'd say you need to talk to him about it and be straight forward and honest.  Men don't necessarily understand bluntness or subtle references.  Tell him what your thoughts and feelings are and ask him where he stands.  Let him know that you think there have been some mixed signals being thrown around lately and it's time to either take the next step and be a serious item...or move on without him.  

Good luck!

Answer 9

Nope...you broke up for a reason. I never understood how people are "on again-off again" BEFORE MARRIAGE? You should never break up, it's a bad sign and things should be pretty darn stable before considering a future. If you're looking to kind of pass your time with someone and don't really care about long term then sure, get him back. But if you want a stable and GROWING relationship that will eventually lead to marriage I'd say move along.

Answer 10

I wish I could go on a month long holiday.

Answer 11

There really is nothing to think about is there ?

Dont go back under these circumstances, in fact dont go back at all, if its over its over.

Stay friends and make it perfectly clear to him that you are never going back with him, it was a time in your life thats over now.

Be strong, you can do it.

Answer 12

Laura pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You don't need to be strung along it is just time wasted. I was played for a fool like that I just would hate to see it happen to you he doesn't care about wether or not he breaks your heart again becaue it will be you that feels the pain. There is someone for everyone out there believe me.