Do you play with your children?

Question

I feel conflicted. On one hand I am still a kid at heart and would love to shoot hoops; play ultimate frisbee; play Marco Polo in the lake; etc. with my kids.

But then there is all this advice about how kids need a parent not a friend so in the past couple of years I have pretty much refused to play with them and explained that it is important for me to be a mature role model for them and I was really sorry because I wish I could play.

I feel really bad about this. Is it possible to be a mature role model for your kids while being their playmate? I do not see how.

Answer 1

I play vvith my kids but not all the time. You can be a mature adult and still play and have fun vvith your kids. Theres a difference betvveen that and trying to be their friends. Most adults that try to be friends vvith there kids let them do and get avvay vvith vvhatever they vvant. They are afraid to discipline because they are afraid there child is going to be mad at them. You just have to make sure your child understand that you vvill play and have fun vvith them but you are still there parent and they have to listen to vvhat you say.

Answer 2

I think you are crazy for not playing with your kids. You can be a parent and have fun with your kids so long as trhey know you are the law. My mom played with me but when I messed up she let me know she loved me by disciplining me. just because you play with them doesnt have to mean you are friends. Plus if you dont play with them who knows what sort of misfitts will. then youll realy have problems.

Answer 3

My dad is a mature role model when he needs to be (and with kids like he's got, he needs to be a lot). he's strict too, but he's not prideful. honestly, what other man allows a 2 yo to paint his toes, doesn't get mad when his p*****n sons just jump in the lake on an impulse (and then actually joins them), gets facials/goes prom dress shopping with his teenage daughters (yes, he's done this), and doesn't lose patience while trying to teach 2 little boys how to play football (when to be honest, they just want to tackle each other).

play with your kids, we love it when our parents play with us.

Answer 4

Definitely play with your kids!  It is something they need and it is great family time.

The advice about being a parent, not a friend probably refers more to...letting them get away with things and not setting boundaries and guidelines.  

Make sure you discipline your kids, but enjoy them as well.  My favorite memories are my parents shooting hoops, playing games in the pool, etc.

I am 29 now and my mom, dad and I still play frizbee golf, putt-putt, water volleyball....I wouldn't change it for the world.  

Go make great memories with your children!!!

Answer 5

Let me tell you it is definatley ok to play with your children. infact, they like it when their parents aren't afraid to be goofy and have a good time. At the same time, when they misbehave, you have to let them know, I am your friend, but before that, I am your mother, and if you misbehave one more time, you will be put into time out. Just make sure that they know that there is a time to be serious and a time to have fun. Be their role model and show them that!

Answer 6

I think kids need their parents to play with them.  My daughter and I play games together all the time.

Answer 7

I play w/ mine every day.  Sometimes I only play a few minutes at a time & other days we'll go swimming or something special for a few hours.  I'm sure you'll find the right balance.

Answer 8

ignore what you are hearing. it is also very important to interact/play with your children. it's hard but you need to be able to do and balance both being a role model and a "playmate"

Answer 9

Please don't let what others say deprive you and your kids from having play time together.

I have 2 boys (16 & 13) and I play with them all the time.

They understand that I am the parent, and have no trouble seperating the two roles I play. (Parent & playmate)

In fact, I believe that because I am active in their life, they are more willing to do as I say, and are less likely to engage in activities that they know would disappoint me.

Answer 10

You are reading into this concept waaaay too deep.

You do indeed need to be an example and 'parent'  your children but that does not mean that you can't enjoy them and have fun with them.

Love your children, show them how they are to act by your example, and correct them when they are wrong.

But don't stop playing with them in order to fit a 'mature' role model.  You can still be a playful personality and parent properly.

Answer 11

Ignore the advice and PLAY with your kids.  They won't be kids for long.

Answer 12

mam it is very important to spend time with your childern i do understand where you are comeing from but on the other hand  you dont want  to miss  that time with your kids  and you dont want to miss haveing the bond because it builds trust and many other issues  that  is built on a mother and her childen you can make time for both so no one misses out   your childern need you in so many ways  your childern also will do what you do do you want your childern to do the same  to there childern your grand childern change it now befor its to late i know you love them very much or you wouldnt have this consern so please  its all about  them not us  have you ever herad the term   when we have childern  our live have ended  and the childs life has begone  well that the choice we make  when we deside to have  childern its a matter of what we are willing to give up for them  how much we love them the good lord gave us ladys this gift  of bareing childern now its all about the giveing to them how do you want your childern to turn out with your grand childern some day

Answer 13

I LOVE playing with my kids! I'm their mom ALL of the time and they know that, but there is absolutely no harm in having fun with your kids. I actually think it brings families closer. When they were little, we'd play outside, play cars, simple games, etc. Now that they are older, we play video games, board games, goof off at the park, etc.

It's only harmful if you are a parent that just wants to be a friend and not a parent. Those that just flat out want to have fun and set no rules or boundaries. That IS harmful.

But being able to share laughter and enjoying your kids is one of the greatest joys of life!

Answer 14

Some of my best memories growing up, were when my parents would goof off and play with us.  My husband and I do the same with our kids, and its such a special bonding time.

You can play with your kids, be a goof ball, act like a kid at times... and still be an authoritarian.  Its a balance.  You're missing out if you don't play with them at times.

Answer 15

OMG play with them, you are still the parent.

Answer 16

in my opinion...there's time to play with them like that and there's a place for you to act like that...you play with them the way you think is going to interact with them on a level that they know mommy is just "chilling"with them...and on separate times

this is mommy and the boundaries are back,as a parent!have fun,play with your kids!

Answer 17

My kids are 6 and 8 and I play with them all the time.  We play all types of sports together and do many family activities like camping.  My kids know that I am their friend and they can come to me about anything.  My kids also know that I am their parent first and the parent card trumps the friend card (most of the time).  I believe a child needs a parent to be both.

Answer 18

You already missed so many years from your childrens lives! You can be a parent as well as play with them. Being there in every step of the way- just makes them know that mom can be there for them in any way. You dont have much til they become the teenagers that dont want to hang with the parents so take advantage of it now while you have them with you! You can play-act silly-have fun and still be the good strong role model. They should know by now when its the time to behave and act good-what to do and what not to do-and you could always act and be firm when the time is needed-but kids are kids and they need their parents. of course you arent going to be that parent/friend that lets them do whatever they want too-so it all works out.  Good luck! and have fun!

Answer 19

There's nothing wrong with playing sports with your children.  Millions of adults do these things so why can't you enjoy them with your children?  I'm pretty sure what is mean by "be a parent, not a friend" means being able to separate the two and not drinking or smoking with your teens, letting their boyfriends or girlfriends sleep over because you want to be a "cool" parent, etc...  As a child, my parents never played with me, they just watched and as a mother myself, I will never do that with my children.  I always wished my parents would just let go and have some fun with me.  Now at 30, I still consider my parents "older" and I wish they could be my peers that I'd have something in common with.

All you need to do is make sure there are still boundries, like when it's time for supper, homework, bed, etc...that the rules still apply even though you're out there with them.

Answer 20

Of course you should play with your kids!!!  There is nothing wrong with that.  Your kids love having your undivided attention.  What better way to bond with them!  You can still be a good role model.  With my kids I play with them all the time, but when I have to discipline them, they know I mean business.  You want your kids to remember you as a fun loving parent, but also knew how to raise you and teach you right.  My parents did the same with me as I do with my kids.  I look back and yeah at the time I hated them when I got in trouble, but I look back now and think how lucky I am to have such wonderful, loving parents because they did play games with us, and do activities with us, but they also knew how and when to discipline.  I couldn't thank them more!!!

Answer 21

Sure kids need parents to be parents, but kids also need that friendship level from their parents. If a parent never gave love or played with their child what does that teach those kids? Parents need to learn to balance being a parent and being a friend. I think its important for a parent to play both roles. There is a time and place to be a parent in certain situations and then there is a time and place to be that childs "friend" and play with them. Be that parent figure when disicpline needs to be enforced and be that "playmate" when the love and attention need to be taught and provided.