Do you prefer arranged marriage, or finding the right one?

Question

Just Curious.

because i "found the right one", but before i almost gave in into an "arranged marriage".

what do you prefer?

Answer 1

Arranged marriage but the guy would ofcourse have to be someone I like.

I have the right to accept or refuse.

It's a bit like a blind date!

Answer 2

lol oviously finding the right one :)

Answer 3

Well,  I know couples who have been married for over 10 years then suddenly decide they have nothing in common and got divorced even though they fell in love and got married. And, I know a lot of couples who were united with arranged marriages and are completely happy even though they have NOTHING in common. So the lesson here is that neither arranged nor love marriage will always lead to one result or another. Both will have groups of people with varrying experiences. I personally prefer love marriage but with the help of family intervention. I think it's important to have the opinions of your family to help guide you to make a good decision because sometimes you may pick the wrong person and only a good loving family can show you things you overlooked.

Answer 4

Salam for you my dear friend. First of all finding the right one is better and then if the related person is fit for you ,you must arrange the marriage.But its requirement should  be realistic because there is no so perfect person.The most important is what is his religion and how well he practise his religion and what is his education and whether he has a good work or not for the future life after marriage.

All parents want their son/daughter be happy and prosperous  after marriage  at least do not be dependent to his/her parents anymore.

You have the choice to accept or to reject with a reasonable facts

You must collect some information through your own obsevation and other information obtained from other source. It needs  precautionary action and an adequate time not only a couple of days in order to avoid repent.

Answer 5

Finding the right one through an arranged marriage.

Please remember, an arranged marriage is not a forced marriage.

Answer 6

lolll Temperamental's got a point there !! !!  

Answer 7

finding the right one.

thank allah for such a inspirational life

salam beresoonet.

Answer 8

im more in favour of arranged marriages.  Love marriages are good too.  But i believe and have more faith in my parents' choice rather then my owns......

but honestly speaking, neither arranged nor love marriages are quarenteed to be successful.  So yeah whatever Allah has set, its for the good

Answer 9

i would rather have me myself find the right one =)

Answer 10

i prefer arranged marriages parents know what's best for their kids most of the love stories of people i personally know have sad endings or unhappy lives

arranged marriage worked for me it's not like your getting forced into it your opinion is the one that counts most and there is an engagement period where you get to know each other and see if your suitable or at least get used to one and other

Answer 11

finding the right one

Answer 12

ARRANGED MARRIAGE SUCKS! how can u sleep w someone u only met like 2 times???????????/

FINDING THE RIGHT ONE SUCKS TOO!

RELATIONSHIPS SUCK!

Answer 13

Finding the right one!

I am against arranged marriages :D

its eew eew:P:P

*thats soo girl.. c**p*

Answer 14

Even if you do find the right one on your own, you would still need your parents permission. And if you married someone that your parents found for you, well why WOULD you agree to marry him/her if he/she wasn't the right one? Finding the "right one" doesn't mean that the only way this can happen is if you find someone for yourself. It's more likely that the person will be "right" for you if your parent sought them out, and if you sought someone out that wasn't good, well of course your parents would say no. So ultimately, finding the right one can be done by both your parents finding someone and you agreeing, or you finding someone and your parents agreeing. In the end, same outcome, only diff is who found the guy/girl first :)

Answer 15

Finding the right in an Arranged Marriage.  

Answer 16

You know what I know how you feel but....arranged marriages get a bad rap.  If your parents are not thinking about your happiness then yeah it should be avoided.

Before I was married there were 2 times I can recall 'being introduced'.

The 1st time the guy was totally weird and talked about another woman.  I told my dad he is weird and he didn't believe me.  Until the 2nd time we dated my dad believed me.  

the 2nd time I really liked the guy and he wanted it to go further but my heart wasn't into it so I broke it off.

BUT all that said, there is a good feeling to going out with someone your parents are happy about and they approve of the effort.

Now if you are talking about meeting your husband on the day of the wedding, like my mother-in-law did (2nd time she saw him) that is wayyyyyy too freaky for me.

Answer 17

Finding the right one in an arranged marriage.

If that makes sense..

Answer 18

Finding the right one would be smart a choice!!

well it can be arranged too!!

i know some parents go for their choice, but sometime they are not wrong, they want the best for their kids!!

Answer 19

Arranged Marriage, finding right one may result in plenty of sinful acts, and end result is the same.

Right or wrong qualities of life parteners keep on varying throughout ones married life. It need a complete life to understand eachother.

What Allah swt. decides for us must be accepted while being content.

Answer 20

I totally prefer finding the right one on my own! Just imagine having an arranged marriage and maybe having some things in common but not having that truly in love feeling...I'm sure for some they might have that but I personally found my own love and we've been together for 5 yrs married for 2 and very happy, we know everything about each other and I couldn't imagine someone picking who I need to marry.

Answer 21

My parents would always ask for my opinion and also if i say no...then its a no they would never like to see me unhappy so they do their bit of research and i do my bit of research 2...so i guess it would be arranged marriages this doesn't only involve my parent's decision but my decision 2...thr trio working together to find me the best partner Lol Also my sister wants to take notes....so i guess its a quatro working together to find me my life partner one day inshallah Lol.

Assalamu alaikum wb

Answer 22

Marriages in Islam are NOT by force. An arrange marriage in Islam is actually a love marriage, which is because a guy gets to see the girl before marriage and vice versa through photos and distance before the nikah or in order for a marriage to take place. Without the consent of parents or the bride or the groom, the marriage doesn't take place. So in Islam, marriages are solely love marriages, and it's stupid and ignorant to call them the marriages of force.

There is nothing wrong with arrange marriages as long as there is consent involved of every party (wife, husband and parents or sometimes even other close relatives).

Hope i cleared it

Answer 23

Both can work if one's intentions are right.

Answer 24

hmm... we are to seek what is the Islaamic way.  Finding the right one can be through arranged, because arranged is suppose to mean you say what you are looking for, and your guardian or fellow Muslims help you find a prospect like that, and then you agree or disagree.  This prevents one from things that leads to sin, and is better in the sight of Allah.

but if u find someone u like without looking, he is to propose to the walee and marry you as soon as possible and noone shud worry about high mahr, or fancy wedding etc.  because those are not compulsory, instead very much disliked in Islaam.

If you *look* *on ur own* and find the right one and keep chatting/ talking/ meeting etc. on ur own, there is always a 3rd person shaitaan, and we are told in Islaam not to do this, period.  So I hope you sisters seek to do whatever is the most pleasant in the sight of Allah Subhaana wa Ta'aala.

Intentionally looking for the one on your own leads to many haraam deeds. so please sisters, fear your Lord, the Creator of everything, the One who send us guidance...

so pls lets take this guidance with pleasure.

Answer 25

i dunno but i wanna see what time brings me i would like to find the right one but also i want my parents to agree so if they didn't then i will not get married to that person

Answer 26

Finding the right one.

Answer 27

Find the right one and go in for arranged marriage with the same person.  You may have to convince your parents of your choice of life partner and why and how the person is better.

Good luck

Answer 28

honestly

i'd like the option of an arranged marriage

it takes the stress off looking for a spouse

but i'd prefer finding the right one

because it's like destiny pulled us together

because out of the billions of people

i finally met my true love

Answer 29

finding the right one;-]]

Answer 30

Finding the right one. I would say that is the only way to go. At least for me that is. Because I know the Good Lord has that special some out there for me. I think I met her in my church.

Answer 31

I prefer findin the right one for myself

I can never trust a guy if he is choosen by my parents cos ofcourse he is gonna behave good infront of my parents annd never bad..i wudnt be knowing what all bad thoughts and bad ideas he wil be having in mind

So if i choose the guy myself then i wud know already how he is and i can trust him better..

And i wonder how can anyone just sleep with a guy unknown?

I mean u know u gonna marry to thiss guyy ur parents have chosen for you but the rest ewww unimaginable :D

Thats why im againstt arranged marriagess!!!!!!!