Do you really believe in the notion of a "homewrecker"?

Question

Thumbs up for all! :)

Good answers everyone, thanks!

Answer 1

If a man is going to cheat he will, you aren't going to prevent it by being overbearing or clingy. They have brains located above the waist.

People like to have someone to blame its that simple.

Answer 2

im sorry, but your a homewrecker.  

Answer 3

I do not blame the Other Woman (OW).  I agree that often as not, she does not even know about the man being married until her own feelings are on the hook, then she is told how bad the marriage/wife is, how unfeeling and uncaring and promised he will end it, etc.  

None of that is second hand, its from talking to many women who have been cheated on and women who were the object of the cheaters.  Most of the wives and the mistresses were completely trusting and in love with the man and were devastated by the cheating.

It was the husband who promised to remain faithful to the woman...having no others...and it was his choice to cheat and therefore, his responsibility.

The same is true if I woman cheats on her husband, I see it no different in any way.

A cheater really only cheats himself, he or she becomes a liar whose word is worthless and has proven him or herself untrustworthy.  

Answer 4

Look at the "Survival of the fittest" by Darwin.

Fighting the good fight isn't taking an opponant who's bigger than you and keeps you oppressed ... the logical thing would be to match with an apponent whose equal or less than you (tsui the art of war) ... hence taking on woman.  (However, this doesn't gurantee sucess, but rather a more even match).

Answer 5

In most cases no, as infidelity is usually only a symptom that something is wrong with the marriage.

However, I do have a big issue with people who knowingly date married men and women.  IMO, it's about as low as it gets.  Were I to be married and found out my husband was cheating, my anger would definitely be directed at him because he made the choice to do it, but if I knew she knew that he was married and went through with it anyway,  I couldn't just let her off the hook, even if only with my own feelings.

Answer 6

I think that homewreckers are extremely bold people who have no regard for their own physical safety. Many people make the mistake of assuming that the person being cheated on is above the animals in their response to being cheated on. Not so. You homewreck at your own risk.  

Answer 7

The wife is emotionally and most of the time, financially involved with the lying SOB. They are not with the OW. The OW is a threat. Quick example....in the case of Laci Peterson, Scott told Amber Frey(sp) he was unmarried when he began their affair, we all know what a murdering scum bag he is, but some people still looked at Amber as a "homewrecker"...I saw her as a victum also.  

Answer 8

If I was to be cheated on, I would likely blame the other woman very little if at all.  My partner would get most or all of the blame.  The other woman may not know the man is married, or if she does, she may have been led to believe that it's an open relationship or a polyamorous one.  My partner, however, betrayed my trust by not talking to me about feelings of desire for another, which could mean a couple different things.  If the reason is because of issues between us, those issues should be addressed and resolved.  If the reason is lack of a belief in a monogamous situation, that should be discussed as well.  Perhaps the relationship could be opened up to new play partners or a poly relationship.  But rules and boundaries would need to be discussed first.  Cheating is always caused by a lack of communication.  I insist on complete honest in relationship, even when it would hurt.  For me, cheating would be a complete deal breaker for the relationship.

Answer 9

I'd only believe in the term if a woman truly sought out a married man with the intention of breaking up his family.  For example, a woman who pursues her friend's husband, or something like that.  Still, it takes two to tango.  The husband can choose NOT to accept the attention.  My feeling is this - no woman can steal a man who doesn't want to go.  

Answer 10

If someone strays from a committed relationship, there was something not right there anyway. No one cheats or leaves unless they want to, and nothing you can do will stop them.

Women, traditionally, were more "pure" than men, and not expected to initiate relationships- with married or single men. So any woman who did was highly suspect, immoral and a "home wrecker".

No one forces an adult to do anything against their moral judgement- not without a weapon. It's a 50-50 responsibility.

Answer 11

I think there is such a thing as a homewrecker - a woman prefers to have relationships with married men, not really caring or maybe even wanting his wife to find out. The term is misused and loses it's meaning when applied to any woman who has a relationship with a man who is cheating on a girlfriend or wife. Obviously if the woman did not know the man was married, she isn't at fault - unless she continues the relationship once she finds out. The fact that the term gets applied to non-marital relationships is a sign that a marriage is becoming more and more of a ceremonial thing, with less significance. Breaking up a marriage should be more significant than breaking up a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship, but in this day and age when a married couple might be living separately and a BF/GF couple might own a home and have children, that isn't necessarily the case.

While it's easy to hate the homewrecker who deliberately seeks out married or committed men, it's important to think about their motivations. Chances are that the woman has a mental health issue compelling her to seek out men who aren't completely available, or to interfere in the relationships of others. It's an unhealthy form of sexual power.

And, yes, too often the person who cheated is somehow considered the "victim," but I think it's probably extremely rare for an otherwise committed man to throw away his relationship simply because he's succumbed to the wiles of an unscrupulous woman. Still, it's important to consider his motivations as well. Why isn't his home life enough for him? Why is he so willing to throw it away?

And then there is the woman who was cheated on - usually the true victim, but not always. There are woman more infatuated with the idea of love or with the lifestyle they have become accustomed to and they are unwilling to upset the status quo. They bury their heads in the sand and ignore problems in their relationship and obvious signs that their husband is spending time away from home.

Answer 12

it makes you feel better to hate her. plus i do know an awful lot of women that are total morality free zones and haven't thought twice about going after a guy that's involved.  

Answer 13

He gets off the hook? you have yet to see the long rants on all men being pigs who are only interested in s*x.

Personally I think this insulting to men (as its a lie) and to pigs (maybe not female ones, given how long their orgasms last).

That and I blame the lot of them.

Homewrecker I thought was a term that applied to longer term relationships. Often meaning the guy may be married.

I would love to see the stats that show they dont know about his other relationship.  

Answer 14

Yes I believe in it, BUT I think that both the husband and "OW" are homewreckers.

The husband aloud the other women to wreck his home and the

women wrecked it. (*Mind you this is if the women new she was messing with "taken man".) If not thats a different situation.

Of course people want to be quick to blame others for what happens but I mean to tell you the truth, how would you feel if this happen to you. Theres so many emotions that go through your head that you might act or say irrational things.

In my opinion both of those losers would be out of my life. Husband and all.....

Answer 15

If a person is ripe to cheat in a marriage, it doesn't matter who the "cheatee" is...if it isn't that person, it would be someone else who came along. Blaming "the other" is rather pointless.

Were I ever cheated on, trust me...it's not the "other woman" my anger would be directed towards.

There are some people who identify themselves entirely by their romantic relationships. When that is threatened, they work out elaborate scenarios to take vengeance but try and "fix" and retain the relationship. Therefore, it's more comforting to blame "the other" and delude yourself that your partner wouldn't have cheated if that person hadn't come along.

Edit: By the way, I LOVE your new user name...

Answer 16

I think they both equally suck and are both in need of a major a$$ whoopin'. If both get chastised and shunned equally maybe more people would learn to keep it in their pants.

Answer 17

The blame goes on the person who cheats - no one else is responsible.

Edit : That comment about the pic last night was referring to the ugly one you posted for guns btw.  That came out wrong in the chat :-p

Answer 18

It is easier to blame the "OW" because we have no emotional ties to her, unlike our husbands who we promised to "love and to cherish until death do us part". We women are hopefuls, we always try to look at the good in the ones we love because we have deep bonds with them that are not easily broken, whereas with the homewrecker, she is the outsider.

Answer 19

A wife whose husband committs adultery naturally prefers to blame the other woman, it makes it more tolerable to her.

However, remembering the way married men used to sniff around me when I was young, I think there are a lot of married men around who don't need any encouragement, they're just natural philanderers.

I have no idea how I would react if my husband was unfaithful, I might blame him or I might turn on the other woman, or I might blame both of them, I couldn't say.  It's hard to tell for certain until you have actually had it happen to you.

Answer 20

I think you are correct in a sense.  But even though it IS the mans fault, we cannot help but have extreme animosity and jealousy towards the other woman.  even if they didnt know they were the "OW" you still hate them.  Its happened to me...with an ex b/f.  She had no idea he was with me and felt horrible, she stopped seeing him immediately and apologized.  but I still felt much anger towards her....its unavoidable.

Answer 21

I would describe a home-wrecker as being a woman who intentionally undermines the relationship of a man (ie. she knows he's married). She is far from innocent.

Why the man would escape blame, I wouldn't know... I never understood how someone could continue to be with someone who had cheated on them.