Do you see problems with this short paragraph?

Question

its from an essay on compareing and contrasting two geography articles and anthing helps, i am horrible at writing i included the paragraph before if you need a better understanding

NOT THE PARAGRAPH :

There are many similarities between the two articles “Why Geography?” and “Defining Geography: What is where? Why there? Why care?” one of which is they both stress peoples lack of knowledge about geography. In the article “Why Geography?” Gritzner talks about how although we live geography every day we still lack a “mental map” and have become geographic illiterates. He also goes on to say that if we don’t know geography we can’t be expected to make enlightened decisions about our “finite global natural endowment”. The article “Defining Geography” also says that we are not getting the best education on geography as we should. In this article he talks about how many of us have an unclear definition of geography and he explains his own definition. In this article he talks about the need for geography again and that we’ve been asking what and when so much but we also need to ask where. But although there are many similarities in these two articles there are also differences.

THE PARAGRAPH:

One of the differences between the articles is how they view what geography is. In “Why Geography?” Gritzer says how geography is the core of history and that geography is needed to understand history. In “Defining Geography” on the other hand he describes geography as a method instead. Gritzer says geography is a way of looking at things and organizing events. Although the two articles have their differences they both show geography as much more than the majority of us perceives it as.

Answer 1

i think it is written very well. i would only change how it begins. like you could start it out by saying.."though there are many similarity's, there are also clearly some differences. one being how they view what geography is." hope this helps. just curious but what grade are you in?

Answer 2

I've edited your paragraph and bit. See if this is better:

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One of the differences between the articles is how they define geography. In “Why Geography?” Gritzer shows how geography is the core of history and that it is needed to understand history. On the other hand, in “Defining Geography”, he describes geography as a method instead. Gritzer says geography is a way of looking at things and organizing events. Although the two articles have their differences they both show geography as much more than the majority of us perceives it to be.

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I've made very little changes but see if that sounds better.

Answer 3

I think that both your opening and your closing are worded awkwardly.  For your opening, I would say something like:

One of the differences between the articles is their point of view on what constitutes geography.   In “Why Geography?” Gritzer explains how geography is the core of history, and that it (repeating the word geography here is redundant) is needed to understand history."

For your closing, say something like this:

"Although the two articles have their differences, both show that geography is much more than what the majority of us perceive it to be."

Why do you say you are an idiot?  You aren't!  This is really not bad writing.  I have seen much, much worse.  You just need to work on polishing your phraseology and word economy some.  

Good luck on your essay.  I hope you get an "A."

Answer 4

One of the differences between the articles, how they view what geography has been.  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚€ÂœWhy Geography?” Gritzer says "how geography is the core of history and that geography is needed to understand history?" “Defining Geography” on the other hand he describes geography as a method . Gritzer says "geography is a way of looking at things and organizing events." Although the two articles have their differences they both show geography as much more than the majority of us perceives it as.