Do you suppose men regret abortions?

Question

Usually, I don't condone posting abortion threads on here, but this isn't an abortion debate.

I mean, you hear all the time about women regretting abortions (almost all do) or at least dealing with emotional repercussions afterwards.

Do you suppose the boyfriends of girls who have abortions deal with the same sort of emotional termoil (perhaps to a lesser extent.)

You always hear about support groups and counseling for women who had abortions.

But what about the men?

I don't quite imagine that sort of man could move on, get married, have a baby, and hold that baby in his arms and not feel a pang of regret in his heart about that other baby.

what does everyone else think?

Why doesn't that sort of thing ever get talked about?

Answer 1

Yes.

My ex-financee has just gone in to abort our child (3.45pm today, it's now 4.20pm).

We split up about 3 weeks ago, but it could have been fixed.

I begged her not to go through with it, but my begging fell on deaf ears.

She gave me a load of bull about how she still loved me, and wanted more than anything else in the world to have the baby, but it wasn't fair! - Fair on who???

I am devastated, I've found this because I goggled "dealing with abortion". I can't believe she has gone through with it.

I don't think I could ever look her in the eye again after this, I still loved her so much, and she apparently loves me still.

I am completely gutted.  

Answer 2

yes they do regret it. I know a man who'ss GF aborted a baby and then told him. she claims she was in University and it would of gotten in her way. they broke up in time and he would drank and drank and go on and on about the abortion......... no one knew of the abortion. she never told anyone, but he did! shewasn'tt happy about iteitherr.

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I also had one years ago. with an old bf. i can tell you i honestly do not regret it. never looked at that other then it was the best choice for us at the time. for MANY REASON....... mostly he was abusive and a druggie. i though he stopped but found out i was PG and he still was on drugs all the same week. (years ago remember) but he regrets it. he tells ppl about it. his sister knows about it, even though we had agreed at that time to keep it between us........... he told other ppl about it as well. i have a daughter and he brings up when i see him how she could of had a brother or sister and the age the baby would of been............ blah blah. he may regret it but idon'tt.

Answer 3

of course they do - thats murder

Answer 4

I think men tend to bottle it all up inside.

Yeah, I think they would have terrible regrets or repercussions, but they don't tell anyone and try and battle it themselves. I don't think it would be as stressfull as it is for a woman, they carried the baby and it's a lot more personal for them. They say i man doesn't feel like a father until he sees his baby, a woman feels like a mother when the test shows a positive. He never saw the baby, but a woman saw the little "+"

♥ ~ SF.

Answer 5

I think that the men sometimes have MORE emotional turmoil for many reasons: a.) They impregnated the woman b.) The woman is also getting rid of the MAN'S baby

I think that men go through almost the same emotional turmoil as women, but to a lesser extent because the woman is actually CARRYING the baby.  The baby may seem more...distant to the man, somehow not REAL until it comes out, but with a woman, there's a connection made as SOON as you know a baby's inside you.  "Quote"--My mother lol:)  

That is sometimes why the man abandons the mother of his child.  

Answer 6

Listen to the song "Speculum" by Adema.  It was written by someone whose girlfriend/fiance got pregnant and had an abortion without even telling him.  He was obviously devastated.  The song is pretty deep.  You should look up the lyrics.

Answer 7

I don't think most men think about it all that much.  It's not real to them until it's born I guess.  There are probably exceptions of course, but I'm pretty sure that most of them don't care enough to regret it.

Answer 8

Well men dont have to have the baby removed from there body. Really a man never gets to emotionally connect with his baby in the first trimester. (if thats when a woman gets the abortion.) I think its different for a man because he doesnt feel the sensations etc.  

Answer 9

What about the men who don't want there girlfriends partners to have an abortion and they do it any way.

It happened to a friend of mine his girlfriend aborted his only chance of a child he got her pregnant then got cancer and never thought to get any sperm frozen as he thought he had his family.

It killed him literally he took an over dose and never recovered and he so wanted the baby

Answer 10

Yes, men do regret them.

I go to the pro-life march in DC every year and they always have men holding signs that say the regret their "lost fatherhood." So, I'd say yes definitely men feel a sense of loss and regret. I think too, it may hurt them because they have no say in it, if they want to keep the baby and she doesn't...their desires don't matter.  

Answer 11

My husband and his ex-girlfriend aborted a baby when they were in their teens and I know he still has feelings about it 10 years later.  

He can rationalize it more than women I think and has made peace with his decision but it has come up time to time.  He always says it was the right choice at the time and he doesn't wonder "what if" but it is there or I wouldn't have heard about it.  Honestly, men are less emotional, but not completely emotional.  He has found a way to compartmentalize their decision, see the benefits of it and also grieve for his child.

We are now expecting our 4th child (he adopted my child from a previous relationship) and the ex-girlfriend has "popped up" throughout our relationship.  From what I have seen and heard from her, she hasn't dealt with the situation in nearly the same way and has major issues with him raising a "child that's not his when he wanted an abortion before".  So to answer your question, men DEAL with their turmoil while women don't quite respond in the same way.  I don't view my husband as heartless for holding our babies, but he has moved on from a painful decision many years ago.