Do you take advantage of?

Question

Every Silver Lining...

Above perception,

hovering,

surrounded

by intrinsic weakness,

what we are,

what we have been

both shattered.

Sixty turns to

twelve o two,

hammering on the mind,

dulcimer beat,

can't calm the

snare drum,

ratatatat heartbeat spins.

Eyes glimmering,

surface of the water,

deeper than we dare go,

farther down,

farther down,

blessed but not fine,

damned and divine.

Drive faster,

away from memory,

away from photographs and paintings and poems.

Pointilism on my skin,

little holes of feeling

bury my screams.

At the end of the road,

will you be there...

will we be broken?

Answer 1

Some of this is vintage Evadne. And some parts are subtle, yet radical changes - stanza #2 especially. And the tone of every stanza is so radically different that each might stand alone as a separate and complete poem. Yet it in no way seems to be a pastiche, the elements are bound tightly in to a cogent entity by virtue of content. It all hangs together, and yet you have raised your usual level of ambiguity to enigmatic heights. I will have to come back to this - many times.

Answer 2

Great

Answer 3

Oh my such intriguing poetry and gives the mind a good jolt! Great imagery, a truth search for the heart!!  Cheers!!

Answer 4

Mr Lourie is perceptive as always; what Yeats said may apply to your poetry:

The worst are full of passionate intensity; the best lack all conviction.

Actually, what I like about this poem is that it has an existence in time.  I would consider editing it to bring that contemplativeness out.  The photographs/ paintings/ poems idea (pointillism is lovely) is an underdeveloped line of thought that could stand a number of brushes with cogitation if you felt inclined.

Edit: Or perhaps, I disagree with him: it is stz. 4 which attempts a pose of motion which is different from all your poetry I've read.  The four transformations of stz. 4 ll. 3-6 are the true poem in itself:

l3: artistic representation of stz 1-3

l4: art meet the physical substrate (lit. sweat pores?)

l5: mentality via the physical, a cubist approach

l6: a scream that insists on body/mind, but transcends art, body, mind, spirit.

This is as fine as anything so terse in literature, but it chooses to sustain its rapture more briefly than art is capable.  

I think I agree with his idea that stz. 1-3 draw from the same font as `classic Ms Terra;' the clock crystallises in an unusually unbridled stanza ideas, particularly cursed/divine, ideas which are quite canonical.