Do you think Ap's that adopt children from foreign countries...

Question

should be "required" to place their children in programs that teach them their mothers language at an early age?

I think its important so they can at least be able to communicate with their families when they search for them. Too many Ap's drop the ball on this, that's why I feel it should be mandated at an early age like second grade. If they can't afford to pay for the lessons then I don't think they should be adopting a child out of their native country.

Answer 1

We must know different APs because the IA APs I know have made their children's culture a priority in their families. But of course they also allow the child to learn how to live in this country too.

Answer 2

What makes you so sure they'll go searching?  There's no need to further isolate them by forcing them to learn a language for a culture they are no longer a part of.  Besides, love and compassion need no translation.

Answer 3

I use to speak it fluently as I had to learn English.  I now only know two words.  I had nobody to speak it with & I know that they tried to speak some phrases with me but how long do you expect that to last? I realize some of it was my fault for pushing anything that reminded me of my culture aside but I wish I never forgot how to speak it.

Answer 4

Why are you letting the adopters off the hook?  THEY should be learning the native language so they can facilitate teaching their children.  It is typical American arrogance to make everyone bow to our language and culture.

In fact there are a few notable adoptive parents who DO learn the language of the country where there children were born.  Some of them even give their children culturally appropriate names.  (Nothing gags me more than seeing a poor Hispanic or Asian child branded with a dumb yuppie name).

Good question!

Answer 5

We didn't adopt internationally, but we adopted a family member from another state who was placed in a foster home that spoke another language for 7 of his first 8 months of life. 3 months after we got him, he was babbling in the other language. Since we adopted him through DSS, we feel they should help us nurture that other language.  Our workers are working on it, but it probably isn't going to happen.  

Answer 6

I don't think that any parent, adoptive parent or bio parent, should be "required" to place their child in any sort of program such as this.  Encouraged...perhaps, but everyones situation is different.  My 15 year old daughter wants nothing to do with the country she came from and left as an infant.  It holds no relevance to her any more then England/Ireland/Scotland does for me after my grand parents left there 70 years ago.  To her, it's just as distant a connection.  She considers herself Canadian, or at most Canadian of Indian birth but other then that she really doesn't think about it.  When she was younger we were involved in the local Indo-Canadian community, took her to cultural events in our area and tried to expose her to the culture but all that stopped when she told us she really didn't care and didn't understand why she had to go.  Needless to say, thats where it ended.  I'm not going to force her to do anything she doesn't want to do any more then I want to be forced to do it.

Answer 7

yes i think it should! i have a half sister that is spainish and when i meet her i couldnt even talk to her it was sad to see someone like that and no be able to talk or ask questions i would have loved to ask about her life and tell her about mine but i couldnt  

Answer 8

What's important to YOU is not necessarily important to everyone else.  Not every child is willing to learn a second language any more than they are willing to learn computer skills, ballet, tap, jazz, diving, swimming, gymnastics, photography, or piano lessons, etc.  

I enrolled my child in a variety of activities to see what she liked and what she was good at.  Some she was not interested in at all and some she liked.  My child was not interested in leariing Spanish--not even in junior high and high school.  She chose Russian, of all things , at my protest. I would have liked for her to learn Spanish.

I'm guessing you are not a parent--adoptive or otherwise.  You sure don't understand kids or parenting.  You remind me of a person who thinks she has all the answers and wants to tell parents how to parent but has no experience..  

ETA:  lol.  In response, Independant, to your wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Know-it-all

Answer 9

It would be nice if they would get the kid(s) lessons (heck even themselves)  but I don’t think it should be “forced”. The kid might not even be interesting in learning their birth countries language. Should they be forced to learn it?  



That said in today’s world it would be nice if all parents had their child(ren) take early lessons on at least one other language at a young age, like start at 2 or 3 years old. It can be very beneficial even more now to be bi-lingual or multi-lingual.

I know people who are not adopted yet have family who speak a different language and they aren’t always fluent in that language.  I have a friend his mother’s family is from the Philippines and though his mother tried to teach him her native tongue he was not interested he says he was more interested in playing video games. Grant it he says he regrets it now but when he was a kid other things were more important. So now though he can understand some words and phrases he cant have a deep conversation with his Philippine kin,unless they speak English.  I also know another guy his mother is from Germany and he was born there too but he does not speak Germany fluently.

Answer 10

[Besides, love and compassion need no translation.]

Well, d**n. I didn't realize that my Chinese mother could magically make me understand Mandarin just by sharing my blood and loving me.

In short, there is more to an adoptive family than just saying "love conquers all", correct?

There is more to a biological reunion than just saying "love communicates everything."

Do you see where I'm getting at?

Answer 11

I think learning ones native language is important.I also think that the AP's should be required to speak the native language of their adopted child.

When I found my first family, my great grandmother was very ill and dying. She didn't speak english. I would have given anything to speak to her without my grandmother translating for us.

I am so sad that I don't speak my native language fluently like all of my cousins and extended family who were raised in the family.

I am hawaiian/chinese/spanish and a mixture of whites, being raised by white people doesn't make me all white. I am still who I was born. I deserve to know my cutlure.

Answer 12

I think ap's should really try.  It's really hard, though.  Classes aren't really enough to make someone fluent.  It's so hard to be fluent in a language when you aren't immersed in it.  My husband has lost a lot of fluency in his native language (Cantonese) (not adopted - immigrated) and he even still speaks it with his father, just not enough to keep up a great vocabulary, and his brain has long since switched over to English structure and grammar.  We are doing our best with our daughter.  Her grandfather (adoptive gf) is fluent in her native language (Mandarin) and speaks it to her.  She will take classes when she is older.  I hope she will be have enough to communicate some with her biological family someday.  Losing a first language is a real loss for international adoptees.  

Answer 13

It should begin earlier than that.

Their mother tongue should never leave them.

Babies can distinguish between languages at a very early age, far earlier than people think.

It's a little less traumatic when you are away from your parents, to still hear the language that you know.

You want to adopt a baby from china, learn mandarin.

It's not a matter of affording it, too many children are taken away from their mothers because they are poor. It's about compassion and care.

Hearing your own language is so important.

It's only an issue if they can't speak it. That;s wrong. Their language is their language. They should be able to learn both.

Answer 14

Well, English is the only language my children have ever spoken.  It is the official language of Liberia.  The only "language barrier" we encountered was training our ears to hear the accent.  Those first couple weeks, they understood what we were saying much better than we understood what they were saying.

And now, my "Liberian English" isn't too bad, actually.  

I think that APs adopting from another country should at least be able to marginally speak the language, especially when adopting older children.  I can't imagine how difficult it would be for a school age child to come to another country, new culture, new family, and not be able to understand or be understood.

ETA: You know, Nurse Ratched was a psych nurse, not a school nurse.  Big difference.