Question:

Do you think I am building this/him up to be something it's not/mightn't be?

by  |  earlier

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He was my first. I was young, silly and naive and slept with him on the first night thinking he was interested in me. He wasn't. He already had a gf(or maybe wife - not sure if he was married then or got married afterwards) and child - I didn't know about this till later. He wanted s*x - he called me again twice and I thought he might be interested in me. I found out about her on the third time I saw him and ended it straight away. So I meant nothing to him - just a bit on the side. He used me and moved on. I saw them once together and he looked 'into' her. I moved on too - this was 7 yrs ago - now I am married to a great guy and we have 2 kids under 2. But life is hard with 2 kids and I don't work so I have very little to think about. Someone mentioned to me that the house this guy from the past lived in (so I assume he owned) sold for over $4mil. He earned heaps so I guess he could have owned it.

So now I have this image of them living happily ever after. Married with kids, LOTS of money - money to buy anything they ever wanted.......anything at all. I assume they live in the same small town he came from ---so close to friends/family. So he probably doesn't cheat as he. Guys can separate love/s*x so he probably loved/s her and has got it (the urge to cheat) all out of his system that time with me. Being close to friends/family also probably means that he doesn't get the opportunity to get away with it as he was so careful when he saw me those couple of times. I don't know any of this - except for the selling the house that they lived in - but it kind of fits into place. I never let him bother me before but now that he seems to be so well off in life with everything I just feel so down about mine. I love my hubby and children but I have this vision of them having it so much better than us. I know I sound like I have sour grapes - but he was so callous to deceive me and use me for s*x - he never lied but deliberately let me think he was single. And obviously cheated on the wife/gf.

Do you think his life could be this good now? I know I should concentrate on my own - and I am - but it would make me feel better to know that things are probably not as great as I have the impression of for him. I think it is possible that I have just built this up to be something bigger than it is - possibly he is just like any other guy - just a bit more money?

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  1. I am sorry that you got taken for a ride in the past but as you have said you have moved on.  Things are never as great or as worse as it seems.  People on the outside put on fronts like life is great. If he cheated with you, he has cheated with others.  Most of the time(not all of the time) women know about the other women but if the man is taking care of the financial responsibilities, she doesn't complain.

    Now as far as life being hard try to find something you can do from home to make money.

    babysit others children

    make things (sewing projects you can sell)

    crafts

    women love purses, scarfs, hats, etc.

    these are things you can do with out any extra overhead.  Look to the future got and try to make it better, instead of looking to a future will never have and dreaming about a cheater.

    Good Luck  

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