Do you think I am wrong for changing my daughters last name?

Question

Here is the situation.My daughter is 22 months old.She was born 9/12/06.Her father or sperm Donor as I call him didn't come see her for the first time until November 27, 2006.He stayed for 1 night and left.Hasn't been back to see her since. He and I had a verbal agreement he would pay childcare every other week.He kept missing his week. The daycare center doesn’t want to hear you have other bills or other children. So I went and file child support on him. He was mad. When we talk it always ends with one of us cursing and hanging up. He is over a year behind in child support hasn't help me out at all. I am finished. I told him he can talk to his daughter when she's old enough to dial his number. That was the beginning of May. He hasn't called me and I haven't called him.I am tired of being called Ms. Sperm donor because that's my daughters last name. The doctor’s office, Daycare, gymnastics and anywhere I go for her.I am changing her last name to my last name. Do you think I am wrong?

Answer 1

Though it varies from state to state, if you are going to change your daughter's last name, you will probably need his written/notarized permission.

But yes you should change your daughter's name.  You should also check into your local family court, since he is not paying the child support that he was ordered to.

Answer 2

Just have him sign off his parent rights...its just going to hurt her in the long run and cause her alot of stress and resentment and the feeling of being unwanted and that is a horrible feeling for a child....maybe one day you will meet a man who is worthy and he can adopt her and she can finally have a good father.

Answer 3

No I think you should change her last name to yours because its your baby and he's just a donor not your husband so you're doing the right thing

Answer 4

Change it--she's far more your daughter than she will ever be his.  Is his name on her birth certificate?  If it is, then you may have to get him to sign away his parental rights, but that ought to be your only real hiccup...

Best of Luck!

Answer 5

No, I don't necessarily think you are wrong... But when you go to change her name, the father will have to agree to it in order for the courts to do it.  (At least that's how it is here in VA)

I'm going thru the same thing with my son's father.  (Or, as I like to call him, the irresposible idiot...)

But I had a feeling he was going to be irresponsible, so when my son was born I went ahead and gave my son my last name.  It was the best decision I've made so far! :)

Answer 6

You should definately change it if that wut u want to do!!!! My father was never in my life! He owe's my mom 80 G's in childsupport which we will never get! He lives in another state and we have a really good life i have always had my step dad so i cant really say i missed out on nething.

Then there is my boyfriend...his father isnt there for him either. He comes around whenever he feels like it. But he's one of those guys with multiple babies who doesnt take care of ne of them. But my boyfriends mom changed his last name and his brothers last name to hers.....even though he has a step dad he's a bumb that doesn't do nething for his mom. His mom is a strong independent lady. Trust me!!!! and u can do the same....sometimes you gotta be the father and mother of your kid. so why not change the last name? Your the one thats doing all the work!

Answer 7

i don't think that is a good idea. Every kid wants a father and they want to have something to do with them. Instead of looking for money first try to figure out a custody agreement. Maybe he can take her for the weekend. Think about the baby.

Answer 8

Nope.

It sounds reasonable.

Answer 9

I wouldn't feel bad at all about changing her last name.  I think that everyone here is right though, you will have to get him to sign away his parental rights- which may not be that easy.  A talk with a lawyer will answer these questions.

Answer 10

First of all i think the fault lies with both you and the father.#1 stop having s*x with a guy who isn't stable mentally or financially to take care of accidents.#2You for believing that a unstable man could love you forever.

But far as your question should you change the babies name....I agree with you 100%

Answer 11

You have 100% right to change her last name to yours. You have been there for her, supported her and the one to feed her. He hasn't done anything.

You are definitely not wrong, you shouldn't even be bothered by this matter. You have all the right. You are strong and independent and I admire you.

All the best, it'll be better

Everything will be alright :)

Answer 12

why does she even have his last name when he isn't involved.  My son has had my last name since he was born and I would have never thought to give him the last name of his dead beat dad.  Go and get a new birth certificate and legally change her last name to yours.

Answer 13

No you are fine. I would have done that from the beginning though. Well good luck to you and happy trails

Answer 14

I think that's find for you to change her last name to yours. If he's not a part of her life and actually making an effort to be interested in her, care for her emotionally, physically, and financially he doesn't deserve to give her his last name. I think I would do the same thing. So sorry for your situation. You should go to a lawyer and try to get the back payments. He still has a financial obligation no matter what, and your daughter deserves that security as well. Hope it all works out. God Bless.