Do you think I get any respect based on these things ?

Question

I tell ya I get no respect !

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home !

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look ... twins!

Rodney Dangerfield

Answer 1

they are fair loti {laughing on the inside]

Answer 2

hfj

Answer 3

what kind of respect and where?

made me smile!!

Answer 4

The jokes are moderately amusing (though not the laugh-out-loud kind of funny), but I don't understand what you're asking.

Answer 5

Haha, that made me laugh. Thanks.

Answer 6

Thanks for the laughs, I miss that kind of humor.

Answer 7

No wonder you don't get any respect with those lame, old one -liners.

Answer 8

I have heard every single one of those jokes.

They weren't funny then, they're not funny now.

Answer 9

Personally no i don't think you get any respect based on those facts.  But I did find them very entertaining.  Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning.