Do you think I was in the wrong here?

Question

My family and I went to DH's family reunion on his aunt's farm. We pitched a tent.

I put my kids (4 and 5 years old) to sleep at nine pm, just as the karaoke started. It took them a while to fall asleep, but they finally did. Our tent was about thirty yards from the place where the karaoke was and it was louder than it would be in a bar.

At three o'clock in the morning there were only three people left. DH's very drunk aunt, (who owned the farm), DH's cousin who was running the karaoke machine, and a very drunk cousin, who was heading to bed. No one was singing any more, just music. The music was still blaring as loud as it had been for the last six hours. At 3:10 am I went out and politely asked them to turn the music down.

I got in MAJOR c**p from a lot of people, including DH. He said it was his aunt's house and I should never have asked her to turn the music down because in her house she can do what she wants. A lot of people thought the same way and felt that it was very disrespectful of me to ask her to turn down the music.

What do you think?

Answer 1

No. You are a guest. What were you supposed to do? Pack up the kids and leave? Shame on your DH for not standing up for you. It's 3 am. How old are these people? You have drunk people around kids? This sounds like hicksville U.S. It is not acceptable. Kids are impressionable. I think you were right. As long as you were polite and respectful, it was a fair request absolutely.  

Answer 2

I think anyone blasting music at 3:00 a.m. is being an inconsiderate moron, you were right.

Answer 3

You are not wrong for being responsible and caring about your kids.  They obviously had no consideration for anyone that is trying to sleep.  I feel that it is the host/hostess's duty to make everyone feel comfortable and respected.  This is a case of loud drunks being obnoxious and losing all sense of logic.  Sorry you and your kids went through that.

Answer 4

I would have asked them to turn the music down too.  The party was obvious over and it wouldn't make a huge difference to their "fun" at that point.

Answer 5

I would have done the same thing at that point. I wouldn't worry about it.  If they want to be upset with you for caring for your children then so be it. Maybe the way you said it came off wrong or something.  Either way, at that point it shouldn't be a big deal.  And it is not like you asked them to turn it off, just down.  Sounds like they need to grow up and get over something so petty.  

Answer 6

I think you were right to ask them to turn it down. I think they overreacted, either from alcohol intake or simply because they're rude idiots.  But either way, 3:00 a.m. is certainly time enough to call the party quits especially when children were present for the party.  If they wanted to continue the party, they should have done so on a more quiet level so they wouldn't be disturbing everyone else.   I would've done the same thing as you, only I don't think I could've lasted till 3:00 a.m. before asking.

Answer 7

sounds like your dealing with a bunch of self centered people who think they are all that matters in this world. i dont think you were in the wrong at all i would have done the same thing.

Answer 8

No, you were not wrong.  I would have done the same thing, especially if my kids were there trying to sleep.

Were they drunk at the time they gave you c**p or was it the next day?

I wouldn't worry over it.  They'll forget.  Next year, don't stay the night!

Answer 9

As long as you asked them politely, there is no problem.

If you had gone in there and demanded they turn it down like a rude a*****e, then you're wrong cause it wasn't your house or party.

I think any mother would have done the same thing, or someone trying to sleep.

Answer 10

I think that you were right. Your two kids are asleep, and everyone's going to bed. If they want to blare music, they can do it the polite way: ipod.  

Answer 11

This person sounds like they were overly defensive about the situation. You weren't telling anyone what to do, but politely asking them to turn down loud music at 3am when kids are sleeping and no one is singing. There is nothing unreasonable about your request and you didn't do anything wrong.

Unfortuantely however, some people get very defensive over simple and reasonable requests. Next time, keep this in mind and make plans to go back home even if it means getting home at 2-3am. At least the kids will sleep on the way home and you won't have to put up with this kind of attitude from people who think their right to party should supersede anyone's right to sleep peacefully.

There is nothing disrespectful about asking to turn the music down. You didn't even ask them to turn it OFF, just DOWN. If they felt so strongly about it, they could have refused and left it at that. Anyone who is being that defensive about it obviously has no respect for others, and by blaming you for being disrespectful about it they are simply laying a completely unfair guilt trip on you.

They obviously are accustomed to doing whatever they want whenever they want and not having to care for others as long as they are in their house. That is really unfortunate. Sure, you could argue it's their right. But you're their guest, and they have a responsibility to honour their guests!

Don't let them bog you down, you didn't do anything wrong.

Answer 12

You were not wrong. Rude drunks suck. And his family sounds really low-class - not because they drink, (I love to drink and party too, but appropriately), but because they have no manners and are defending the bad behavior of some of the other family members.

Answer 13

They were thinking about their fun. You were thinking about the kids. Maybe if they knew why you wanted them to turn it down you would have been received better, but I think what you did was acceptable.