Do you think I would have the right to become closer to my biological family?

Question

Alright,so I was adopted out of my family when I was about a year old or so,I must admit I have dealt with it some what alright. I was also born quite premature,and about a year later my parents had a baby boy who was severly mentally disable since birth,and has been that way since then,he needs round clock care pretty much.So then not too long after I was born they gave me up to a couple that they knew,who are now my adoptive parents.After my brother was born about six years later they had their next son and a couple years after that they had another son.So the three kids live with them but I don't.

Latley they have been talking with me more,and wanting me to come over more,and do more things with them.

I am just afraid that my adoptive parents will feel out of the picture,and I don't want to hurt them but I want to be with my biological parents.

Do you think I have the right to be part of their family again,too?

Thank you.

Answer 1

wanting to be part of your birth family is hard thing to answer. It will hurt you adoptive family, no way around it. As far as the right to be part of their family, the birth family, those legal rights they had to you are gone. I guess, it is your birth right in which you speak of, and that is hard one to answer. Two families love you and want you and one gave you up. I would limited dealing with your birth family as your adoptive parents are your parents now. Blood is not thicker than water. You may not have grown under your adoptive mother's heart but love for you grew in her heart the first time she laid eyes on you.

Answer 2

I think you have the right to do what ever you need to do. You can not deny that biological part of yourself that ties you to your birthparents. Its there and if they want to see you more and your ok with it then do it. Make sure you change nothing with your adopted parents though. See them as much as normal, talk to them as much as normal, be their child like you have been for so long. They were the ones who raised you and made you who you truly are. You have the most amazing thing....the love of two entire familys. So many of us dont have that with even one. Enjoy it and they will understand.

Answer 3

Take the opportunity.  You might find love that you didn't know existed.  If you don't find that love, you didn't have it anyhow, so don't worry about it.  You have a very good chance to gain.

Answer 4

yes because youll know more about them. if you speak to them then youll be happier!

Answer 5

i think you definetly have the right. you should talk it over with your adoptive parents and see what they think of it. make sure they know you are not replacing them, and you still love them, etc.

Answer 6

"adopted out of your family?" You were adopted into your family! You have the right to know your Birth parents of course and your "real parents" I'm sure will understand that this is something you want to do right now.....don't be shocked to discover that Birth parents and familys don't always live up to what we have imagined them to be. good luck !

Answer 7

All right i am adopted and a little bitter about it. My mom and dad always told me if and when i wanted to look for them they would support me and help me. I think if you told your parents they would tell you the same because they love you and only want you to be happy. good luck.

Answer 8

yes tell your so called parents to just **** off and go back to your real family. stop believing cps lies

Answer 9

Hi, again.  I answered your questions about what someone would do in that situation; and I think I addressed some part of this question there.  There are just a couple of points I'd like to share because I am an adoptive mother.

Your mother (adoptive mother) will probably squirm a little inside to think that you'll be getting to know the biological family better.  She is a grown up, though, and when most people adopt children they understand that this "reunion thing" will most likely be a part of life when the children get to be a certain age.  If your mother loves you the way I have always loved my son she will respect your right to get your answers and know your biological family - and, yes, you have a right to be as much a part of their family as you want to be.

Be aware, though, that biological parents are often frought with problems or emotional issues; and sometimes adopted children can be disappointed when they discover certain things about their biological family.  My son's biological mother was disappointed that he did not speak her language.  He was disgusted that she hadn't learned to speak English in "all these years".  He discovered, too, that some of the biological relatives lied about the circumstances of his adoption; and eventually he was disgusted that so many of them lied and nobody's story matched.

All adoptive parents are different, but, in general, I think most of them go through a similar thing when their child starts to get to know the biological family.  Again, though, they're grown-ups, they most likely love you more than anything in the world, and want you to have what you need to be happy.

I never felt the least bit "out of the picture" when my son met his biological family.  My concern was more that these "phantom strangers" who had never had a face now had faces; and I was afraid he'd be thrown for a loop when faced with having to process having "two families".  He had grown up with just one set of parents.  In fact, he was thrown for a loop for several months.  He was confused, disappointed, curious, worried about me, and any number of other things.  He got through the processing of it all, though, and now the biological family are nothing more to him than people he has met and lost touch with.  He saw the biological mother and father somewhere recently and didn't even speak to them.

If your parents have the super-strong, super-tough, love for you that parents have for their children (adopted or not) they will know in their hearts that they don't need to feel threatened.  They'll also know that even if you were to go and stay with the biological relatives in order to be happy their job is to be ok with whatever it is that makes you feel whole and happy.

Parents are generally pretty unselfish people, and chances are their biggest worry will be whether you'll get thrown for a loop or confused or disappointed by hanging out with your biological relatives.  Chances are your parents know at least some things about the circumstances surrounding your adoption that you don't know, and those things may be things they kind of hoped you'd never find out.

You should look up some adoption sites.  There are sites that talk about the rights of adopted children, the issues of adopted or biological parents, etc.  Your questions seem to say you're going through issues over your situation; and some adoption sites would show you that you aren't alone, that "zillions" of others are in similar situations, etc.

Answer 10

I can understand how you are feeling...and it shows how sensitive you are to not want to hurt your apotive parents.

You need to let them know, in no way does this make them any less to you.it is human nature to want to know about yourself, and how much more personal can you get than meeting with your biological parents?

I am not sure how old you are, but would this become confusing to you also?

tread slowy with this..only you can make this choice.

goodluck