Do you think a little bit of rudeness is good?

Question

I'm 17 and have always been quiet and polite, well mostly. I noticed my mom is a pretty polite person as well. She got invited to my cousin's and his wifes baby shower, but she didn't want to go. She was too scared to decline because she didn't want to seem rude. Well she did decline but that doesn't usually happen. Now my cousin isn't bad and knows what no means. My mom politlely declined and they were cool with it. Now I'm talking about people who don't get what no means. Being polite doesn't work, so you have to be rude to get it across. Trust me I know a lot of stupid people and being polite just doesn;t work for them. You have to be rude because that's all they understand. So I guess I'm asking, can rudeness be good sometimes? By the way just answer the question. I don't need 12 paragraphs explaining why it's important to be polite and not rude most of the time because I know why. I just want to know if being rude is ok and necessary in certain situations.

Answer 1

Yes. Sometimes is necessary to be rude so people understand when you tell them: "No, sorry, I can't attend now".

Some people don't understand when others are being polite to them and keep nagging. They only understand rudeness, so they only way to make them stop is to be rude to them.

For example, when a kid bullies another, sometimes the bullied one has to be rude so, the bully would stop.

Answer 2

yes

Answer 3

I understand perfectly what you're saying, and you don't have to be rude so much as you have to be firm.

If you've said no to an event, and the person keeps pushing you to attend, then say something to the effect of "I'm sorry, but as I said before, I just cannot attend.  I  have other obligations that day that I just cannot break.  I appreciate your desire to have me there, but I just cannot make it this time."

Repeat as often as neccessary.

yeah, sometimes a bit of rudeness is needed - it's not like you screamed "I said no you dumb bleep - what part of no can't you get?"  LOL

Answer 4

Here's where I think you're wrong.  You claim that rudeness might be necessary because rudeness is all some people understand. And by "understand" you mean that they immediately shut up.  I submit that it is *not* necessary that they immediately shut up.  Rather, you can simply state your intention/opinion, and then refuse to give in to them, no matter how hard they try to wear you down.  No, this is not easy.  But it can be done, and without being rude.

Answer 5

Being rude is never necessary or okay.  It is okay, however, to be tactfully direct.  A simple, "Yes", or, "No", or "I would like to, but I can't", without an explanation, is okay.

Often, in our efforts to be polite, we say "yes" or "no", then quickly add an explanation.  The added explanation often becomes a springboard for your "questioner" to nosily probe your reasons.  Sometimes people make this mistake, because they're afraid of hurting someones feelings.

Here's a technique to try; it takes practice to become comfortable with it.  When you're alone, or with a friend, try saying "yes" or "no" aloud, just like that.  After you say it, take a deep breath & exhale, &, slowly count to ten (or even twenty) in your head.  The next time you're presented with an over-zealous request, use the same technique.

I offer this advice from personal experience, and, it helped me alot.

Good luck, and, I think your question illustrates how very well mannered you are, and shows your high regard for others.  Life, & the people in it, can be very exasperating; keep taking the high-road, and you can't go wrong.

Answer 6

Rudeness is never appropriate.  Why bring yourself down to that level?

Answer 7

rudeness is not necessarily good. It bring you down to hole, if you know what I mean. Just be straight and say "I'm sorry I can't hope you understand..etc.." so why would be rude? Would you like to be rude? Honestly I'm a little bit harsh, rude and mean. but that's me. But sometimes I hate myself for being rude cause it make myself no respect and didn't teach me proper behavior. So please don't copy who I am. Be POLITE no matter what

Answer 8

You are right, rudeness is the only thing some people understand, probably because THEY are rude people.  When dealing with others, It is good to say no once in a while.  Be polite first.  If politeness doesn't work and the person(s) keep nagging at you about whatever it is, then they've just given you the right to be rude.

Answer 9

You don't have to be rude, you just have to be in control.  If people aren't satisfied with "no," you can get Biblical on them.  God says to let your yes be a yes and your no be a no.  You're under no obligation to give more than a no.  If you remind people of this, they usually back down.  If people are persistently rude themselves by not accepting a no, then I see no harm in giving them a taste of their own medicine.

Answer 10

It is usually best to be polite unless you are in an extreme hurry and politeness has not worked.   Diplomacy is generally better than declaring war, but sometimes if diplomacy doesn't work you have to resort to rougher tactics to get what you need.

Answer 11

You answered your own question by saying "You have to be rude because that's all they understand."

It's true. Some people only learn the hard way and sometimes that way is for someone to be rude to them.