Do you think adoption is unhealthy for children?

Question

Did you know that 25-35% of young people in residential treatment centers are adoptees? That's 17 times the norm. Adoptees are morelikely to have problems with drugs and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, ADD, and suicide?

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/ginni.html

And that adoptees are 15 times more likely than their non-adopted peers to kill their adopters? Adoptees represent 16% of all serial killers but are only 2-3% of the general population?

http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionforensics,0919-7.htm

Why does this institution continue in all but the most dire cases? Is it because it's a $1.4 billion business?

http://www.antiadoption.org/counselingandsupport.html

Why else?

Answer 1

Biased sites.  Doesn't mean c**p.

What about the children who are abused at home by their biological parents and SHOULD'VE been adopted?  What about the statistics on that?  Right, it doesn't say, because they're biased.

Yes, they can still be biased even when it's a "study".

For example:

Go look at sites about immunizations.  You'll see stats about "more children have died from the vaccination than the illness" .... now, thats a FACT.   BUT, it doesnt say how many of the children who died HAD the illness.

you understand?  they can give you facts.  But, it's sill one-sided.

.

Answer 2

i think that adopted people come with their own set of issues, but then again everyone has their own issues, regardless if they are adopted or not.

Answer 3

I think that adoption has the potential to be unhealthy. More so than keeping a biological family together. Adopters who put their own needs ahead of the child and adopters who are not well informed about adoptee related issues are the biggest reason for my answer, imho.

Answer 4

i think your studies are bull , i am adopted along with my 5 siblings, we are well adjusted happy productive people who had parents who loved and cared for us , why do you care? why do you ask such a stupid question

Answer 5

Do you think adoption is unhealthy for children?

I think adoption places the person adopted at a very high risk of living a lifetime with some very serious emotional burdens. This is also true of the majority of women who have lost their children to adoption.

The fact that there are so many people who have suffered so much grief and loss and continue to suffer from separation is the reason I strongly support biological/blood/natural/"what ever you want to call it" - family preservation first and adoption as a last resort option.

I do question the $1.4 billion statistic simply because from what I know this statistic is from 2002:

"Kim Park Nelson, a Ph.D. candidate in American Studies at the University of Minnesota , noted that in 2002, Marketdata Enterprises of Tampa, Florida placed a 1.4 billion US dollar value on adoption services in the United States , with a projected annual growth rate of 11.5 percent to 2004."

It certainly must be much more than that today.

The fact that the adoption industry in the US is unregulated is a big problem.

"Why else"

My own personal history or having lost my son to adoption and the profound effect it has had on me. I'm only beginning to learn how it has effected him, but it's obviously not been all sunshine and roses. We are statistics, but nobody seems to care if it reflects negatively on adoption.

Answer 6

I don't think adoption is unhealthy, but i had a wonderful home enviroment. My adoptive parents supported me in contacting my birth family. They very much encouraged me to reach out to my birth mother. I feel it depends on the home enviroment. Don't get me wrong, i competely understand that there are cases of abuse, that some adoptees deal with a lot of issues because they are given up at birth. I just can't say it's unhealthy across the board, because there are adoptees out there that are very happy with their adoptive families. I like this forum because it has broken my bubble of all adoptions are successful and every adoptee is happy. I understand now that there are some cases that this does not happen.

Answer 7

Every study needs a reference point.

When you say 25-35% of kids in treatment centers are adoptees.  This is a classic case of confusing correlation with causation.  Does adoption 'cause' kids to have problems?  Or, would these kids have problems no matter if they were adopted or not.  Often, kids in treatment centers were neglected or abused.  Um... why are kids removed from their birth parents...?  For neglect and abuse...?  I would like to see this statistic broken out by age at the time of adoption and the conditions of the adoption before I give it any credence, I believe that would tell a more complete story.

Adoptees are more likely to kill their parents...? (Non-adoptees cannot kill their adopters... think about it).  Again, this is correrlation and not causation, and so is meaningless without all of the supporting information.

I didn't pay to adopt my kids, we adopted through the foster care system.  I do feel that there are some unsavory aspects of the private adoption industry.  However, I believe that most people involved are good people trying to do what they believe is best.

Answer 8

I don't think adoption itself is unhealthy.

I do think it's unhealthy for a child to be separated from his mother, assuming the mother can care for him. (And even if the mother can't care for him, the child still perceives the separation as a trauma. That's pretty well documented.)

I know several on this board believe that many children are unnecessarily separated from their mothers for the purpose of adoption. In those cases, then, adoption probably isn't healthy for the child.

However, in cases where children have already been relinquished (either voluntarily or involuntarily) the separation trauma is already there. In these cases, I think adoption is healthier for the child than remaining unadopted.

Answer 9

Do you always believe everything you read?

<-------} going to adopt in the next few years.

Answer 10

says a lot for a person to use birth control if not capable of being a parent; not so sure that it is the adoption issue but rather the idea of not being wanted; abandoned; disconnected by natural parent; that is a lot to handle ; all the more reason why birth control should be available ; cuts down on unwanted children; cuts down on people who shouldn't have children; and abortion; every child wants to know they belong; who do they look like; don't you think it is hard knowing that the people who brought you into this world ; don't want you ; that is the problem

Answer 11

So what should happen to children in the foster care system.  Aren't they entitled to a family?

Answer 12

I would be willing to bet lots of money the same kids who were studied would have had much worse statistics if they had stayed where they were.  Being an adoptee isn't easy (as evidenced by your statistics), but it's quite a bit easier than:

a.  living on the streets

b.  living in a war zone

c.  being left in a ditch to die

d.  witnessing violence

shall I go on?

Chances are, the circumstances that brought these kids to adoption in the first place would be far worse to live with than growing up with adoptive parents.  Unfortunately, many kids who are adopted have some form of attachment disorder, which causes the vast majority of the above statistics.  Even those "lucky few" who are adopted at birth run the risk of having the same issues.

Yeah, adoptees have more issues.  Adoptive parents have to be prepared for the possibility that, no matter what they do, they might not be able to change their child's course in life.  Everyone involved in adoption needs to be aware that attachment disorders aren't something to mess around with.  

But is adoption "unhealthy" for kids?  Absolutely not.  I'd rather adopt a child, and have them experience a loving home (even if it never sinks in) than to leave them where they are and have them experience those circumstances instead.  And if that child becomes a murderer...I hope the justice system finds a way to do what the parents couldn't - which is to keep this child safe, and keep others safe from him/her.

And by the way, I didn't even mention the 65-75% of adoptees who DON'T spend part of their youth in residential treatment centers.  Or why that statistic might look that way.  For instance, what about the fact that most  birth parents aren't even aware that these places exist?  When you adopt, you have to take classes, and most adoptive parents are conscientious enough to look into the "what if's", so that they are at least somewhat prepared if that "what if" does come up.  Adoptive parents tend to be far more aware of the possibility of emotional issues than birth parents (that is not a generalization...some birth parents are just as aware as adoptive parents...but if we were to look at THOSE statistics, it would absolutely be in favor of adoptive parents knowing much more about resources in this area...they have far more reason to be prepared).

I could go on and on.  Those statistics, as the other answerers have noted, only show one side of the story, and they neglect the many valid explanations as to WHY the statistics turn out that way.  You have to look at all sides of an issue.

Answer 13

I am familiar with these statistics.  They are quite verifiable.  They are alarming.

My long-researched conclusion is that the primary reason for adoptee troubles is the lack of acknowledgment by adoptive parents, the adoption industry, and the general public of their initial loss - which is a trauma to the infant.

Funny, most people acknowledge the infant's loss when the mother dies in childbirth.  Our love affair with adoption and the wishful thinking that it's a win-win-win scenario precludes us from acknowledging there is a loss.

Although the memory of that loss is pre-verbal and exists in a different part of the brain than conventional memory, it exists nonetheless.  The adoptee knows somatically (body/emotions) and subconsciously that s/he has experienced the trauma of mother-loss.

Adoptive parents, the adoption industry, and the general public, however, deny this loss - which is really crazy-making for the adoptee.  As I have mentioned elsewhere, what kind of behavior would we expect from survivors of 9/11 if everyone around them denied that it ever happened?

I expect that the industry and adoptive parents (whom they serve) in particular are quite invested in continuing the denial of this fact.  What a tremendous disservice to adoptees everywhere! Acknowledgment, validation, empathy, and therapy would go an awfully long way in decreasing the statistics you have cited.

Edit:

For those who are misunderstanding the meaning of "25-35%  of young people in residential treatment centers are adoptees," you need to understand one thing: ADOPTEES ONLY REPRESENT 2% OF THE POPULATION.  So, if they were no more troubled than the rest of the population, only 2% of the young people in residential treatment centers would be adoptees.  Not 25-35%.

Answer 14

Ok, first of all, there are many out there that is adopted and I  dont think they are crazy loony people out there. I am aopted and think that i have turned out pretty good for my self. I am marired have a daughter and have a great house and my husband is working. Lets see, my brother is adopted and so is my sister and they are pretty well off. They have jobs, married and have jobs. So, do you think that maybe you need to look into this more. Liek someone said about the kids that didnt get adopted what happen to them And what about the ones that have "great" families and do the samething? So to say that not all adopted kids are bad. So, what if they had easting disorders, add, and maybe commite suicide, dont have the people out there have some kind of problems but we dont put that on here!!!!!

Answer 15

So biased. Please, nobody cares what all of you think anymore. I plan on adopting my second child in April and I can't wait. By the way, he/she will be from an infant adoption agency (Gasp). Guess what, I'm 27 and not infertile (gasp again). The only people who care about what all of you have to say is people who are new to this sight, and that will only last for a couple of months. Then they will be tired of all the repetitive junk you say as well. It's so hilarious to watch all of you just push people away instead of changing anyone's opinion. Quite ironic.

Edit: Seriously Sunny. You're such a loser, and you're so predictable. Every post you bring up infertility. It's so pathetic how you get off on that. Is that all you got?!?! Well bring it loser because I'm an adoptive parent and I'm not infertile.

Answer 16

Hey Sunny you ever think that these statistics might just go against your overall agenda - If we are so prone to killing our adoptive parents - gasp - what would we do if we could easily locate our birth parents who abandoned us?  Maybe for gun permits their should be a question that asks are you adopted check yes or no box ???????? Might help lower some of these over inflated - one sided statistics that you love to post.

Can you answer me this - what are the most extreme, dire cases that you feel are suitable for adoption?  Do you feel that people who are in these situations are able to identify them on their own because if social services stepped-in wouldn't that just make it as bad as you believe it is now?

Couple more questions for you SUNNY - Whats your drug of choice?  How many stints in rehab have you done?  Did you just threaten to kill your adoptive parents or did you possibly wing one of them?

Let me guess - dumb questions right because these statistics don't apply to you and your crew just those not fortunate enough to have access to yahoo answers, right?

Let the thumbs down begin!!!!

Answer 17

I'm adopted and I'm um..normal...HAHAHAHAHA

just kidding..i really am normal

Answer 18

Yes, I do , although  I sometimes think it is better than the alternative, depending on the situation, but I think all too often people give up their children under the false pretense that adoptive parents can give them more, and perfectly capable parents are separated from children to the child's detriment

Answer 19

I don't think that adoption is unhealthy for children if they are coming from bad family situations. I helped someone with an adoption of her baby to a couple that I knew that couldn't have children. The child grew up with a lot of love and guidance and has turned out to be a lovely christian mother herself. If she had stayed with the biological mother she would have been taken away at some time and put in foster care because her mother ended up in prison for drugs. So with this in mind don't you think that she had a better chance with her adopted parents?

I work with children at an alternative school and a majority of our students come from homes where their parents are either alcoholics or drug addicts, along with a lot of their parents have served time in prison yet the keep getting their kids back after they have been removed from their homes. So you see where I am going with this, these kids will probably not have a chance to pull themselves out of this cycle and they too will do the same to their children.

Answer 20

No I don't. If a parent I don't think a parent should give their child up for adoption but If they do then that baby probally wouldn't have had a good life with it's birth mom. And It could have a chance of getting a good family. ♥

Answer 21

i guess theres two ways of looking at it, 25-35% of adoptees are in residential treatment centers and that means 65-75% are non adoptees, so should people all be adopted because they have lower ratings in this institution?  i agree with bugsy and you and combined. yes it is a fact, it is not an opinion but they are not showing the other side of it.  thats for everything though, there are always two sides to everything.  people also have this huge thing with adoption and that also has two sides, there are kids who are adopted to bad families and there are kids who arent adopted that are in bad families.  there are also kids who are adopted in amazing families and same with kids with the biological parents. its all two sided.

i think it comes down to really making sure you pick the right family in adoptions that have parents that can explain adoption right and that it was for a loving purpose and not for abandonment although im sure there are cases that were abandonment, every situation is different

Answer 22

No.

Answer 23

I do.  I think there is alot of unacknowledged pain for adoptees and it's really sad.

Answer 24

I'm beginning to think so. Too much unnecessary pain, indeed. But I'd still like to believe that not everyone is doomed to failure.

Answer 25

So do you think kids growing up in an orphanage is better.

Answer 26

well, no there is no way that you can tell me that it is better for a six year old to live in a group home or a abusive birth family then to go to a loving adoptive home. and if you think about those stats aren't that high. that means that 75-65% of young people that grew up with their birth familys ending up in a residential treatment center. and the second one, that means that 84% of kids grow up to kill their bio-parents? so should we all stop having bio-kids to? oh and by the way when you said that these sites wern't biased maybe you shouldn't post a link to an ANTIadoption website.

Answer 27

Hmm, I see you've created lots of enemies...

All I have to say that while it very well might be a flawed system, particularily the foster care system, we don't know of a better one.   There isn't a magic wand to make things perfect....

I think your passion is better suited to possibily preventing unwanted pregnancies, advocating for birth control....Harness your passion and find a way to help....Especially rather than hurting people's feelings and advocating here....