Do you think adoption would be a good decision instead of having your own kids?

Question

i want to adopt when im older and i want to make sure its the right choice for me

Answer 1

I wanted to adopt but the state system take soo long and they do not tell you everything about the childs background because that would make some kids unadoptable.

Private adoption are costly and overseas adoption are expensive as well.  There is nothing wrong with giving a child a home.

Answer 2

No.

Answer 3

You have to do what you feel is right for you.  

To answer your question, my husband and I decided early on to adopt rather than have biological children.  We thought there were too many children without the unconditional love a child deserves that bringing another soul into the world didn't make sense.

Answer 4

My husband and I decided to adopt rather than have biological children.  A lot of things went into that decision, but most important is that we LIVE to help people.  My husband has worked at a residential treatment facility for 7 years, and the only time he didn't like his job was when he felt like he wasn't doing anyone any good.  I've worked with elderly and disabled folks, troubled kids (at the RTC where my husband works now, in a battered women's shelter, and now at a boarding school), and with battered women.  I did a lot of pointless stuff before finding my "calling", but now that I have, I don't think I could ever go back to a job where I just bring in a paycheck.  WTF is the point in paying my bills if I'm not DOING something for someone?  

Anyway, my husband and I do want a family.  But we chose to grow our family with kids who really need homes, rather than adding to the world's population.  I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like you have the same type of calling.  As jgf said, please look into the effect that adoption has on adoptees.  It's really, really rough being adopted.  And if you're planning to adopt a child who really needs a home (i.e. through foster care), I would recommend making sure you can take good care of yourself first, and get a good support system going so that you can take breaks.  It's rough being one of these kids, and it's rough parenting them, too.

Good luck to you!  If you have any questions, please feel free to email me.

Answer 5

There are so many children out there that need loving homes and that would be very admirable or you if you decide to do it

Answer 6

That's a pretty difficult question to answer and you are the only one who can answer that.  Adoption is certainly not the "easy way" and it has very unique challenges for everyone involved.  Shortly put, it's not for everyone.

But if you think it's right for you, then you can do some research now.  There are some great books out: 20 thinks adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew (or a similarly worded title.  It's early, still on my AM coffee), Inside transracial adoption, In their own voices.

Read books, get information.  

Good luck!

Answer 7

nope. Someone elses cast offs are only good for bringing in government money and free medical assistance.

Answer 8

Neither is bad, but adopting cuz your too posh to push, is just pathetic.

Answer 9

Hi Carra,

No doubt about it there are already many children who need homes.  Adoption should be about finding the best possible homes for those children.  

You might ask yourself if you are capable of loving a child who is not biologically connected to you.  You might ask if you could put the child's needs first before your own.

To give you an idea of the sorts of things required, prospective adoptive parents need to pass a homestudy in order for an adoption to be approved.  Among the requirements, you would need to show financial stability, your home would need to be inspected for safety and enough space.  All of your other family members would be interviewed and investigated.  You would need to pass a criminal background check.  You would need personal reference letters.  You would need to be physically healthy and meet the criteria set forth with respect to your age, the ages of other family members, etc, which would vary depending upon the agency used.  They will interview you extensively for your motives and suitability as a parent.

If this is something you are dedicated to doing, then I would suggest continuing your education to learn all that you can about adoption, particularly from the child's point of view.  There are blogs online, books to read, even this forum will provide excellent insight into adoption experiences.  There may also be opportunities within your own community to interact with children now, in a big sister type role.

My final advice if you want to adopt is to look into providing a home for a child who is already here and needs a home, rather than looking for a pregnant woman to give you her baby.  Good luck Carra,

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 10

adoption is a great option if you want someone to love. every child needs  so much care if they're gonna grow up with their head screwed on right. if you've got the right resources and emotional energy then go for it! as long as they understand that you chose them, then they'll feel loved and wanted.

Answer 11

ONly you can know what is right for you..

Unfortunately (maybe) I don't have the choice.. I've known since I was 16 that I'll never have biological children..but that's never changed my desire to have a family.  

But hey! Maybe God allowed me to be infertile because he knew that if I could  have biological kids I would, and wouldn't  adopt.. maybe he has a child that needs a home somewhere out there that he's waiting to match me up with..

The point is, every person's calling is different.. My mom's calling was to be the best mother (of her biological children) in history... I shudder to think how different my life would have been raised with a different mom, biological OR adoptive.. I thank God every day for my mom, as I still would even if all she gave me was her home, love, values, etc.. but not her DNA.. It's the woman that matters to me, not shared DNA..

Answer 12

If you truly want to help children, I certainly commend you. Look into becoming a foster parent and/or legal guardian.

Adoption is state sanctioned identity theft, and anyone with scruples will take no part in adopting in the US.

I also want to commend you in your question for pointing out the obvious that adopting kids is not the same as having your own. There will be plenty of anonymorons who will try to "correct" your wording. Don't buy that PC garbage.

I wish you good luck in helping needy children.

Answer 13

Thats a question only you can answer.  I think adoption is great. Plus why bring more children into the world, when there are so many that out there that need good homes.

Don't listen to all the upset adoptees on here.  I know a few people that have been adopted and they are very happy.  I even adopted my son a few years ago.  It was the best think I ever did.  If you do decide to adopt I would do open adoption.  That way the birth family can stay in touch with you and it makes it a much easier way to accept adoption by the child.  They wont be 18 and grow up bitter and with a bunch of questions.

Answer 14

My wife and I have both biological children together and have adopted.  While the start of your life together is certainly different, within a few months you feel that the adopted children are every bit as much your children as biological children.  You love them, you get frustrated with them, you teach them, and you are proud to watch them develop and grow.  

I think that adopting is a good thing.  There are many kids out there, especially in the foster care system, who are real need of good parents and a good home.  Being that person is a great feeling, and I highly recommend it.

Answer 15

That's either a personnel decision or one a couple makes together. There is also no reason a person can not have both adopted kids and biological kids, in fact there are many people who have both. As long as they don’t favor one over the other.

If having a genetic child(ren) is not important to you then why not just adopt?  Let’s face it this world needs more people like an alcoholic needs booze.

Answer 16

I know my son & his fiancee have discussed adopting instead of having their own kids.  I add that they do not have problems with fertility.  There are to many children in foster care that need loving parents & they would both love them and help them grow into the people they were meant to be.  They set aside time to spend with her niece who is a downs syndrome little girl and both study sign language as a second language.

These are two young people who put others before themselves and are very special.  They are the type of people I would like to see adopt.  They have no agenda other than sharing their lives together and enriching others.

Answer 17

loving a child weather it from your body or not does not matter what matters is the love guidance and protection you will provide

Answer 18

If you have to ask, then it is not likely the right thing for you to adopt.

Answer 19

well, if you consider what it would be like for you to grow a child inside you, and then hand it over......how would that feel?

that's what would happen to someone in most cases, in order to supply pap's with a baby.

please consider the child.  he/she will go through an enormous loss to come to you.

Answer 20

I adopted both my kids. They ARE my own kids.