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Do you think fathers have a right to know if their baby is being given up for adoption or being aborted?

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Aside from the legality, I would like your moral opinion.This question was posed on The View and I found it interesting. In England, a couple had a one night stand and the mother did not want the father to know about the pregnancy. She gave the baby up for adoption. She also did not want her parents raising the baby so she did not tell them either. What about if she wanted an abortion? Should she tell the father?

My opinion is that it is situational. If the father/grandparents are criminals or abusive etc... I understand why she wouldn't tell them. I would like to know other people's opinion.

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  1. The father should have all the rights that the mother has.  If he chooses to forfeit his rights, that should be his choice, and not the choice of the mother.  

    On the flip side, the father should be willing to accept the responsibilities that go along with the pregnancy as well, whether or not the baby will be adopted after being born.  He shouldn't be able to just "opt out" of being involved and leave it all to the mother.

    However, there should be a similar process to that of adoption if the mother wants an abortion.  That baby is part of both of them, and it is nobody's right to take that away without the other one knowing about it.  If he is willing to raise the child on his own, he should be given that option.


  2. I certainly do think they should have an opinion on if their child goes up for adoption. It is HIS child aswell, if the mother do not want custody then WHY do she not give first choice to the childs other parent?

    I also do not think it is fair for a woman to get pregnant and keep it a secret from the father. If he is a decent, hard working and good man WHY would a women take that away from her child, why would she deprive her child of that relationship or the father of a relationship with his child. It is wrong no matter how old the parents are when the pregnancy happen.

    I think the law NEEDS to be changed to  allow fathers rights to their born children. It took two to make the child it should take two to decides the future of said child.

  3. This is one of those things that I've thought so long about I feel like I'm going in circles...  I really do feel like I understand all the different sides here, but...

    In my mind, I think the father has a right to know.  The denial of the father's feelings in this situation is unconscionable to me.

    Added:  I should say, I don't think the father should get to force his will on the mother.  But I also think that, if he is excluded from the decision making process, he should not later be held financially responsible for a decision made without his input.  (I really don't think a man should ever tell a woman what to do with her body.  But if his input is excluded from the decision, if he doesn't even get to voice his opinion, I don't think he should be saddled with the decision someone else made.)

  4. I don't think you have a moral obligation to tell the father if your choice is abortion. I am speaking from experience here and I stand by that desicion. However if you are going to choose to bring the child into the worls and the grandparents or father is not horrible in some way, they should be given the opportunity to raise the child. This does force you to stay invloved, however and you will most likely have to pay support.

  5. I agree with you and the 1st answer. A father has a right to know, but if he presents a threat to the mom or child, then no.

  6. YES!    The father has every right to know.

  7. Abortion--her body, her business.

    A baby?  He absolutely has the right.  I think women who say they don't know who the child's father is (usually a lie) and give the baby to non-relatives should be arrested for kidnapping.  

    That's what would happen if HE took the baby-right?

  8. i think the father has a right to know yet i think he then has no right as to whether she decides to abort or keep the baby. Inless she didn't want it but he agreed to keep the baby and the mother to have nothing to do with it.

  9. I think the father has a right to know but I do agree with you when you say its situational like if the father would harm the woman or the child..

  10. I feel that the situation is different if there is an adoption rather than an abortion.

    If there is an actual child, and that child is placed for adoption, than the birthfather should have a say in the matter. After all, this is an actual child who will grow up and want to know about his/her father. And the father might actually want to parent the child.

    In the case of an abortion, there is no child. Then it is more a matter of what the woman wants to do with her own body. Then it is no one's business what she does, only her own and her doctor's. It is a medical procedure and her health should be of greatest importance.

    I think it is better if the woman DOES discuss it with the man in question, but it is up to her if she does. That's her decision.

  11. Absolutely. If someone's a parent they SHOULD know. A woman should not have so much control as if ti were only her child. Just because a woman is the one that gets pregnant does not mean they should be allowed total control over the situation. Father's should also have the right to be aware of the health of the baby throughout the entire pregnancy.

  12. I'm with you.  Its definitely situational.  If it was a one night stand with a guy you've never met and will probably never see again, then what's the point in tracking him down just to tell him?  If the pregnancy is the result of s*x with a friend, a committed relationship, an ex.... then I think those people should be informed.  However, there's not a lot they can really do about it.  Unfortunately, its the woman's choice only.  My friend had an abortion (sadly) and I was with her during the consultation.  They did actually ask her if the father knew about the pregnancy and the possibility of abortion.  The father happened to be my brother-in-law and yes, he knew.  He didn't want her to have an abortion, but she chose to do it anyway.  Very sad.

    As for the parents.  I don't think they HAVE to be told.  They have no part in it really (unless the pregnant girl is their under 18 daughter).  That's just my opinion.  You can agree or disagree, but its just the way I feel.

  13. I think the father has the right to know, especially if the woman is going full term and giving it up for adoption.

  14. Yes absolutely, the father should have the right to know what happens to his child both legally and morally

    I have no idea what this Judge was thinking - it's just apalling

  15. Fathers do have the right to know if their baby is being given up for adoption. They can then make a choice as to whether to raise the baby themselves (just like women get to make that choice and make the guy pay child support).  In fact, I know two men who found out after the adoptions had taken place and successfully reversed the adoptions.  Those children have since graduated from high school.  

    Your example (the woman in England) is of a woman who is completely self-centered. She doesn't give a dang about the baby; just her needs.  Furthermore, the adoption should not have taken place without demanding the identify of the father. This is the 21st century not the 1940s.

  16. I think the women should be left with the choice.  If a man doesn't want to have a baby then the time for him to be involved is when he is engaging in unprotected s*x.  Morally it would be great if the woman let the man know and if she is planning to give the baby up for adoption allow the man to decide if he wants to take the child and assume full responsibility. but legally its up to the woman at that point.

  17. I believe that if a child is going to be brought into the world and if both parents are capable of raising him/her then each should be given the opportunity to regardless of how the parents feel about one another. If a women wants to surrender her baby to adoption, and the father wants to parent, he should be given that right ethically.

    I believe that if a women is pregnant, and chooses to have an abortion, its her choice, and her body, and that the father has no right to stop it. Just like he couldn't "make" her have an abortion, i dont believe he should be able to make her not have one either. Its her body.

  18. I think it's ridiculous that women do not need to consent of the father for both adoption AND abortion.  I don't think you can really call abortion a "moral" choice, but to make it LESS immoral, both parents should have to decide to kill their baby together.  Unfortunately, this violates all possible legal medical practices.  

    In adoption cases, the father luckily DOES have a legal right to be informed.  However, he also has to be careful about who he potentially breeds with.  In the cases of "one night stands" with strangers, it's unlikely the father knows where he planted his seed.  Of course, one night stands with strangers aren't exactly moral either.  

    No matter what, a father is a parent and a mother is a parent.  They are equally vital to a childs life.  It is a trajedy when one or both of the parents is so abusive or neglectful that they must be removed from harming the child.  If the mother doesn't want to raise the baby, she is still obligated to support the child if the father decides to raise it.  I think this is one reason many women choose abortion rather than potentially letting the father raise the child.  It's really ashame.  It's also a shame that many men would want the woman to abort if it would keep them out of supporting the child.  

    Either way, both parents should be in it together!  If you abuse natures means of procreation for recreation, you have to be prepared to pay a pretty high price.

  19. I think the father has every right to know. Maybe the mom can't take care of the baby, but the father might be able to. But if it is in a situation with criminals, that is a sticky one.

  20. If she places the baby for adoption, then yes, the father should know.  I do not think that the grandparents should need to know, as if both the biological father and mother want to place the baby, that is their choice, and if they don't want to place the baby with the grandparents, well...they have their reasons and those reasons should be respected.

    As for abortion.  I don't think she needs to tell anyone if she wants to have an abortion.  This is her body and her choice.  Yes, the father may want to have a say in it, but when it comes down to it, he doesn't get to make the final choice.  And her parents or even his?  Yeah, they have no business in the decision making process, EXCEPT in cases where the mother is a minor child.

  21. I would say if it not because of in type of abuse.

    It might have do with not be able to handle the baby to young in the first place or not enough finacial standing then I would tell the father.

    If the father is abausive of any type dont bother telling him then he might be able to look up and find the child and hurt him or her agian.

  22. on a moral and ethic stand point, yes i think the father has the right to know...just because the baby is inside the mother does not mean it is her's alone.....it took two ppl to create that child so two ppl sould be involved in the desicion....maybe the man would want to raise the child or maybe the man's parents would like to bring the child up or the womans parents...when i was born....my grandparents wanted to take care of me...i think it is totally wrong to have an abortion or place a child for adoption, and not atleast notify the father.....im not saying the father has a direct say so in what happens but he should atleast have an opinion about how he feels about the whole thing. oh and also remember.....what is moral isnt always lawful and what is lawful isnt always moral.....get it?

  23. As far as I know putting a baby up for adoption with out letting the father know is puts that whole adoption contract at risk.  If the father later finds out and wants the baby (at least here in the states) the courts would most likely award him custody.  So yeah for everyone involved it would be best for the father to know...

  24. Always in the case of adoption. For one thing, the CHILD should know. Maybe he was just a "sperm donor" as some say, but nonetheless, the child might want to find him someday. The man should not be totally surprised 18 years down the road. Legally, he has the right to know as well. Of course, rape/incest and OMG what was his name cases are much more complicated.

    As far as abortion, the father has some similar rights in my opinion. However, pregnancy is hard on a woman's body and even potentially lethal. (I don't mean hard in the manner of it affects her appearance-I mean health-wise.)  Ultimately, I still think the decision is hers.

  25. Morally, yes a woman should tell the father about the child.  If she intends to give the child up for adoption she most definitely should notify him, as the father he has the legal right to raise his child.

    In the event that she decides to have an abortion, I don't think she necessarily has a moral obligation to tell the father, in the case of a one night stand.  In a more committed relationship it would depend upon the situation.

    If both parents agree to adoption I think it is their decision who should raise that child even if it's not the grandparents.

  26. I feel that the father has the right to know. Then it will his choice to be part of the baby's life or not. That way if the child ever asks about the father, the mother can give an answer as to the father's choice. I know from experince that it hurts not to know the father. My birth mother never told me who my father was, and I believe she never told him either that she was pregrant with me.

  27. I think the father has the right to know what's happening to his own child...I mean, even if he cannot be a part of his child's life it's still his child...He deserves to know.

    That's only my opinion.

    xXo

  28. Of course, the father should know! It's his own child. It may even be his only child. If he has the means to do so, he should provide for the child so that the child does not need to be given up to adoption.

  29. I personally believe that a father has the same rights as the mother, unless as you indicated, there is proof that the father is abusive or the pregnancy is the result of a rape.  

    Every situation is different and there will always be exceptions to the rule, but I believe that both parents should have a say in what happens with the child they created.

  30. Legally, morally and ethically... in the case of adoption, the man involved should know... He has the right to parent his child... while shaky, I would not extend that right to grandparents...

    In the case of abortion, that does not apply... A man has no right, or need, to know a woman's medical history except where it applies to STD's... Since a man takes NONE of the risks, or bears any of the damage, from a pregancy, he has no say in it...

  31. I read that article. I really would like to know more about the whole situation. It just seemed to me like she was covering up something about the father.

    But anyway I absolutely think that fathers have a right to know if their baby is being given up. They are the baby's father - why should they not know? I don't understand why people are so easy to cast aside the rights of the man involved.

    If the father/grandparents are abusive/criminals then I think she should be granted some kind of protection regarding her decision but I think they still have the right to know. It seems like a basic right to me to know you have created a child.

    My opinions are also based on my experience. See, my father was not told about me. He had no clue of my existence and it has just torn him to pieces that he wasn't given the opportunity to raise me or even know that I was out there somewhere. He cries every time we see each other. He cries every time he looks at my baby picture. He apologizes to me and says if he had only known. He's a decent hard-working man and it was his right to know about me.

    As far as abortion goes - I'm not so sure there. I don't think a man should be able to force a woman to continue a pregnancy if she doesn't want to.
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