Do you think he'll move back?

Question

My bf's parents moved to LA in their small condo. My boyfriend and his brother are moving there SOON because of them and because its been their dream to live there. Problem is, they have no job there, no money saved, and they're staying with their mom but they have a limited time probably like two months.

They don't have degrees in college either. I'm afraid he won't make good money to live off of and even visit me. I think him rushing into this is a mistake. He says he won't move back to Ohio if he becomes broke there cuz LA seems so exciting and fun with the beaches and his fam there.

Answer 1

No, he won't move back. He'll sponge off mom for years. Sure, the fun and excitement part will wear out soon enough, once he deals with the traffic part. But once he experiences a snowless winter here, I don't think he'll ever go back. Here's my usual rant in this area:

For a number of reasons, we get a bunch of questions asking what it’s like in LA in order to move here.

First of all, I'll tell you what it's NOT like: It's not like anything on TV. People watch shows on TV and think that’s what it’s like out here. The “Real OC”, Newport Beach, The Hills, etc. Ever wonder why people in those shows never have to pay bills, do laundry, and are NEVER stuck in traffic? Because it’s FAKE. And the news doesn’t help either, since they know that s*x and sensationalism sells. News flash: There aren’t running gun battles in the street. There aren’t shootouts every day. Also, you don’t see celebrities just walking down the street, all glammed up, or sipping a cappuccino at Starbucks waiting to sign autographs. We don't go surfing during lunch hour.

Some sections are REALLY nice, others are “ghetto”. Too many people have this vision in their head that LA is one or the other (either Beverly Hills or Compton). In fact, most of it is working class and middle class stiffs working to pay the bills.

You NEED a car to live in Southern California. We don’t have an effective public transportation like New York or San Francisco. One reason is that LA is larger in area than either of those, without a central hub where everything is. Back in the 1960’s, we might have done it. But by the time local governments got their act together, it was much more difficult to make a working public transit system. Also, unlike NY, we have earthquakes, which make it a little more difficult to build underground.

The freeway traffic is probably the worst thing about living here. The 405 is the worst. Know why they call it the 405? Because you go 4 o' 5 miles per hour, and it takes 4 o' 5 hours to get where you're going. Freeway Traffic is bad from 6-10 AM and bad from 3-7 PM. I don't know why they call it rush hour. It's more than an hour, and nobody's rushing, that's for sure.

The gangs are the cause of many rumors. Keep in mind that there are gangs in any large town, in every part of the country. In LA, the gangs aren't really downtown, they are in South LA, East LA, and north Long Beach (an extension of the South LA gangs, actually). And here's the deal: Mostly, they just kill each other.

Gas is expensive in California. It’s about 20-30 cents above the national average.

Yes, gas and real estate are very expensive in SoCal. However, this would be the best time to BUY a house because it's a buyer's market right now. There are a lot of foreclosures, and too many houses on the market.

Yep, freeways are a drag, it's smoggy in summer, and expensive to live here. Yet, if it's so bad, why do we have thousands and thousands of people moving here?

Weather, Activities, Plenty of jobs, Beaches, mountains, deserts all within driving distance, and plenty of opportunity for those who have the skills and tenacity.

In colder parts of the country, people keep their cars in their garages all winter. Kids get snow toys for Christmas. Here, kids get BIKES, scooters, and skateboards. 10 AM Christmas morning, the streets are FULL of kids on their new bikes, scooters, etc. We have a play set from Costco in the back yard. I installed a light in the yard and our youngest plays on it (sometimes with friends) at night during the “winter”. You can't do THAT in the snow.

The job market is good here, mainly because there are SO many people here that it creates its own job market. Then there are MANY industries, including tourism, entertainment, shipping, manufacturing, etc. It’s an incredible economy.

However, it is not for everyone. Every time someone posts this question, you get the LA haters who post their bile and venom. A lot of them don’t know what they are talking about. Some people never even visit, and hate it on principle and stereotypes. Some actually visited once, and found out it wasn’t like it was on TV, and it certainly wasn’t Mayberry. And some actually lived here, and couldn’t deal with the expense, the traffic, or the somewhat impersonal nature of living in a large metropolis. To those I would say “good luck” to you wherever you are, but please don’t spew your hatred in this forum.

As for lifestyle, it’s rather casual. You work during the week, and then go do something fun on the weekend, so that you can impress your coworkers around the water cooler on Monday.

To summarize, LA a HUGE metropolis that really defies easy description. I live in one of the nicer suburbs, but the commute is no fun, often 1-2 hours each way each day. However, 340+ days of sunshine really helps. Yeah, it's expensive. Mrs. Obviousman and I both have to work to pay the mortgage. But is it worth it? You bet!

Answer 2

well CA in itself is a VERY beautiful place... i have traveled many places but don't think i will ever move..only because the weather is sooo nice all year long, durig winter we are lucky to get as cold as 59 degrees..in the LA area..I do have a friend that moved last year from LA to Ohio with his mom and brother. He is moving back this Oct because he is so used to the fast life that LA has to offer. he says Ohio is so slow and boring compared to LA. He can find a decent job..going through a temp agency here is great...they find u permanent work too for a decent rate not minimum wage.. and if he is gonna share a place with his brother then i am sure they can make it. Not sure if he will have lots of extra money to travel to see you very often though...just being honest..sorry.. The other plus sides to LA are the beaches, the clubs/bars, city life in itself....the only real bad part is..THE TRAFFIC.. U CAN get around with bus or metro..but it depends where u live and have to travel to.. u can get mostly everywhere with a daily metro pass for like $5 i believe .. which is good for the metro train and the bus. and yes they are safe.. it is actually cheaper then putting gas in ur car.... the only ones that say u HAVE TO HAVE A CAR to live in LA are those that refuse to use the metro train and bus..i have a car and prefer to use the train and bus when i can.. the train especially... no traffic to sit in..

well good luck and maybe u might want to come visit and I guarantee u will love it...

Answer 3

Hard to say.  People have strong reactions to Los Angeles.  Some people love it immediately.  Some people hate it, then come to love it over time.  Some people hate it, stay here for years, and keep on hating it.  Your boyfriend may decide that he loves the weather, the beaches, the food, and the variety of neighborhoods we have here.  Or he may decide that he hates the sprawl and the traffic and that he misses seasons.  Not knowing your boyfriend, the only thing I can feel fairly sure about is that his reaction to the city will not be lukewarm.

Family dynamics are also going to come into play.  He could decide that it's really important for him to be with his family.  Or he could decide that he can't stand living with his parents.

One key fact about L.A.: it's impossible to live here happily without a car.  If your boyfriend won't have a car, and won't be able to borrow a car from his parents or his brother, the chances that he'll come back to Ohio are significantly higher.

Answer 4

LA is very alluring, and Ohio is cold and economically depressed.  At first LA is all excitement, and it takes a while to see it clearly, so it would not be clear to him what it is really like for some time to come.  Without completing his education, good employment will be difficult, and it IS expensive to live here.

My thought here is to wish them well and just see what develops naturally.  Two months goes by so quickly that they cannot get a clear view of anything.  They will still be dazzled when winter arrives and all we get is a little rain, too.  I almost think they may have to get really whacked by the economic reality of the job situation, and -- who knows? -- maybe your bf will land a good job!  Hope for the best!

I moved here in 1969, coming from Pennsylvania, and it took me a good 5 years to decide to stay, but I am glad I did.  It is very wonderful, but the downside for me was being so far from my family.  Now I have bought a place in PA for a second home, but I don't know if I could be there year-round any more.

Why don't you come out for a visit if he decides to stay for a while?

And... if this is really all about your relationship, that's OK too.  Maybe it was time for a change.

Answer 5

It all depends on what he does for work.  It is best to  come here with a college degree and or a job skill or some kind of training.  this is a period of recession and struggle for everyone here.  So I am not sure what kind of help you are looking for here in Yahoo Answers.  He will struggle here without skills. Having fun at the beach does not pay the rent.  

this may not be the proper forum to ask such important question about re-location, the chances for your relationships after he moves out her and how you feel he is rushing out here.

Finally, if you keep asking the same question you just might get the same answers over and over.

Answer 6

Broke in LA is a lot nicer than being working poor in Ohio.