Do you think his wife will find out about our friendship?

Question

I am friends with a married man. I didn’t know that he was married at first but he later told me that he is married and he just want to be friends because he enjoys my company. I was down about it because I seemed to have gotten the wrong idea. He always complements me and he calls me using a public pay phone to just talk. He does this on his break when he is working.

I invited him to my place before he told me that he is married but him still willing to get together sometime and hang out. I didn't talk to him for 2 weeks because I was trying to distance myself from him but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I missed him.

So I decided to go back to visit him yesterday. He was happy to see me. We just talked as normal. Just talking to him is enough for me. It makes my day. He is coming to visit me at my place sometime to just chat and listen to music

He is 44 and I am 23

Answer 1

You've changed your name, but not your question! You must've asked it ten times or more by now, and you used to say how sexually attracted to him you are! Once again:

IT'S WRONG TO MESS WITH A MARRIED MAN.

WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO HIS WIFE IS SICK AND TWISTED.

YOU KNOW HE'S A BREATH AWAY FROM YOUR BED, DO YOU CARE?

NO MATTER HOW YOU RE-WORD IT, YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE HELPING THIS MAN CHEAT ON HIS WIFE, AND EVEN IF BY SOME MIRACLE HE WERE TO LEAVE HER FOR YOU, HE'D CHEAT ON YOU WITH THE NEXT PIECE THAT CAME ALONG! KARMA IS A YOU-KNOW-WHAT!

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP CHASING(AND YOU ARE CHASING) AFTER THIS MARRIED MAN, YOU ARE LEAVING YOURSELF CLOSED OFF TO REAL LOVE WHEN IT COMES LOOKING FOR YOU!

WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING THIS IN WEDDINGS? YOU CAN'T THINK THAT NEW BRIDES WOULD BE ON YOUR SIDE?!

Answer 2

I'd say it's fine to have a friendship, but don't invite him over to your house. Stay out in public when you are hanging out. I don't think his wife would be bothered by it if she knwos you are just friends.

Answer 3

There is simply no way that this will just stay friends if ya'll keep having alone time.  No way.  I don't care what you say.  There is some sort of attraction there.  Plus he is hiding this from his wife.  That is never good.  I was that wife.  My ex cheated with one of his "friends".  

So, you have two choices.  1) stop all contact, miss him and get over it or 2) keep seeing and talking to him and things will go to far and you will be in a RELATIONSHIP with a married man and be his piece on the side.  Not to mention the fact that you could also be a home wrecker.

Please don't keep doing this.  For your own sake.  This is only going to lead to disaster in the end for you...

Answer 4

You really need to break off all contact with him. Secret meetings and phone calls from pay phones does not equal "Friendship."

Pretty soon you'll be singing "Stay" by Sugarland.

Answer 5

leave him and his marriage alone

you're crossing the line, if i was his wife i'd be furious...

don't be a homewrecker, your young go after other men

Answer 6

I don't think he just wants a regular friendship with you.  men at his age are often looking for younger women to have friendships with.  everyone will end up getting hurt in the situation.  look at it this way, how would you feel if you were  his wife?  wouldn't you eventually find out if your husband is having a friendship with a younger woman?  don't invite him to your place anymore, go to public places if he just want a friendship; you should be in a serious relationship with someone single and who puts all his attentions on you at all times. this guy is married and is only thinking of you when he's bored with the wife, don't count on him to leave his married life for you; he wouldn't call you from a pay home if he didn't mind that his wife knows about the friendship between you two

Answer 7

Its simple. Put yourself in his wifes shoes. What would you do if your husband was acting exactly like him with another woman? You are your husband are in the same state as the man and his wife, knowing what you would know about the way he was acting would you leave him? Is it better that you and your husband left one another? Is there a chance you could make it work or do you feel that with his actions with another woman rule out any reconciliation? Now... Is the man you have this friendship with over his wife? Could there be something more between you to? After you answer these questions then it should be clear what to do. All i know is that if my husband was acting like this with another woman i would get rid of him and her, but i am very hot headed and from the south and here we dont appreciate whores f**k**g up our relationships with our men! And if they have children think about them. It isnt like they get a say so.

Answer 8

What he says is just a friendship is very likely to move into something worse. I would stay as far way from this guy as possible. You are only playing with fire. It seems to me that he wants something more than friendship and is right on the edge of deciding to cheat or not. I say help him and say no.

Answer 9

This is not a good situation to be in. If this man is acting this way he obviously is thinking about having an affair or if he is honestly just looking for friendship it could quickly turn into an affair. Also he is too old for you really. I am 23 and think about it when you are forty he will be 60 and probably need Viagra. Leave it be.

Answer 10

Two words: stay away. If you think his wife would be upset at the knowledge of your so-called "friendship", that should be warning enough. Keep away from him and try talking to guys your own age who are single. You're obviously attracted to him and this could lead you both down a very bad road. Don't turn into a homewrecker and quit while you're ahead.

Answer 11

You need to honestly leave him alone.  Nothing good will come out of this.  You are going to be called a home wrecker and a w***e or s**t.  He's married, respect his wife that does not no what is going on. Ask him if she can be friends with you to.  Put yourself in his wifes place. Would you want your husband calling and talking to another woman???? Remember.....what comes around goes around!!!

Answer 12

just think where r u leading urself.....23 and 44 is no match....he is a married man and i think he is happy with his marriage...u ppl have a relation but that doesnot mean that u hv to become obsessed abt him...one day or the other his wife will know abt it....imagine, u r gonna make someone's soul unhappy and thats the biggest evil in this world....i m totally against ur view...leave him at once.....thats best for u.....

Answer 13

There is no reason you can't be friends with this person. There is something you each enjoy about the friendship, and it makes you happy.

I personally have more female friends than male friends. Women are more conversant and funner to be with.  But, I have never cheated (sexually) on my wife.  My wife respects my space, and she trusts me.

However, you need to validate the friendship.  The next time you talk with him, ask him about his wife.  Ask why he fell in love with her and what he admires about her.  Ask him about his relationship.  If he gives you frank, open responses, then he is on the "up 'n up".  If he seems to be shifty, or uneasy about your questioning, then you need to get out of the "friendship".

What ever you do, make up your mind today that you will not have s*x with him.  Decide now.  Determine the breaking point.  Is it an awkward touch, or a kiss on the cheek?  When that line has been crossed, be prepared to tell him that you can't proceed.

Now, here is the hard part.  If you secretly "want" him,  If you get aroused when you see him, If you get tingly... you know what I mean.... Then you have to stop.  Turn away and don't speak with him.

Good luck.

Answer 14

He is a loser, you can do better. Just move on. Seriously, before you do something you will regret. You are torturing yourself.

Answer 15

you're setting yourself up for a heartbreak. also, you reap what you sow. so one day when you get married their may be some chick talking on the phone with your husband, visiting him, hanging out with him, and inviting him to her home, and missing him when she doesnt speak with him for 2 weeks. but the bullet and let him go for good before someone or everyone really gets hurt.

Answer 16

If friendship is all both of you are after, he won't need to call you from a pay phone and you should invite his wife to attend all events.

Also, you will end up hurt, these men RARELY leave their families for the mistress, which you will ultimately become.  If he does leave his wife for you, you'll never trust him.  Get out, the world is full of wonderful single me your own age that would love to respect and honor you.