Do you think i could train tramps to pull my carriage?

Question

I've had to have the horses put down because of the smell, do you think the tramps from the local village would be suitable if they're hosed down.

Answer 1

pull my carriage?

I think they'll think you're trying to pull their plonker, so to speak.

Why not get chavs to do the pulling

Answer 2

i went to see ross noble perform the other week.  i arrived late, but in style, in a hunchback drawn carriage*.......

*ok so it was just a member of the theatre staff bent over with me and my friend walking along behind her....

Answer 3

well, if you think horses smell bad . . . . . . . . .

and dont even try putting tramps down, just not worth it, so many questions to answer, reason for wanting it done, next of kin, diseases, etc etc etc

Just take the Bentley out and let the stable hands worry about the horses, works for the Missus and me.

(Added later, I really think craftgirl has something there, find yourself some g*y fitness fanatics and tell them this is good excercise for the buns, you will have them knocking down your door.)

Answer 4

nope, u can walk or get the taxi

Answer 5

What o' old been...i must say that is a spiffing idea....give those layabouts something to live for what what.......

Good show.....tally ho....

Answer 6

I don' t know, their smell can be pretty bad sometimes, hosing down might not work. You'll have to make sure the stables are clean for them so that they won't roll around in their own bodily fluids. And you know they go into heat, so you'll have to keep them away from others at that time, otherwise they may run off. Maybe you could have the local gigalo mount them so they may produce purebreed tramps.

Answer 7

no

Answer 8

lol...did kramer and newman give you this idea....careful they dont run off with it ...and remember what happened to newman going up that steep hill ..lmao

Answer 9

That should work ok, but go along to the next village old boy, you don't want any more inbreeding in their familys or yours.

Answer 10

They're tramps because they are unemployable old chap. They are completely unreliable, untrustworthy and way too fond of the sauce. Think Old s*****m the butler, but 10 times worse.

Your only hope is to get them harnessed up whilst they are still in their overnight stupor. You might then get a decent turn of speed out of them with judicious use of a well-charged cattle prod.

p.s. Drag some spares along behind in case they get to the sherry before tea time

Answer 11

ask the mythbusters

Answer 12

Gosh old chap, it's a little risky allowing those tramps on the grounds...  I don't know if I'd dare it!  Find some little middle class children after a little penny, don't forget the de-lousing of course.

Answer 13

I think you might find the smell more offensive despite the hosing down. Try politicians as they are always squeaky clean, never let you down and are always known to pull a fast one.

Answer 14

Somehow I think that even if willing, they would not be able to deliver the necessary tractive effort. It takes all the strength of three grown men to move one, old-fashioned short wheelbase wagon (weight about 10 tons) at a snail's pace.

Somehow I don't think the tramps would be up to it. Surely a man of your means could afford an engine?

Answer 15

if you where paying in beer im shore they wouldnt mind

Answer 16

Why not?  As they say, keep it in the family.

Answer 17

Hey, I'm looking for a job right now. I'll pull it for you if the pay is right.

Answer 18

Why don't you try some Poles or Latvians..... sorry doesn't really address the smell issue does it.

Answer 19

You may want to reconsider your decision. While I understand your loathing of the smell from your equine animals, you may find that, even with a good dousing, the tramps may be just as offensive. In addition, when pulling your carriage for several hours, the need to relieve themselves is not only rather unsightly, but necessitates them fouling any bush or shrub handy.

In addition, as your brace of horses age, you can count on at least 1000 kilos of tasty meat to feed the help. Some thing that is frowned upon as a protein source if you plan on using the tramps as Friday night dinner.

Answer 20

.Tramps, surely you jest.I had this problem,I simply went to our local fitness center.There,I found some splendid specimens.. They thought that that I had a wonderful new fitness regimen. Goodness, why not let them pay you, while providing transportation.Rotter, you must start rethinking your dilemmas

Answer 21

as long as they are members of your family i see no problem

Answer 22

Pay them in White lightning or tennans super and you will have the farstest carrage in the village