Do you think i have a legit reason to be upset? I know its long....but pleeeeez answer someone!?

Question

So...this story is like a novel in length if i explained the whole thing...so i'll giv the summary of it...

My mom and I use t be super close...close as in doin stuff alot together...laughing...i never really had any angry outbursts at her etc. But about when I was 15...she met this guy....he was wierd...and the second i met him i hated him. But i let it go bc i didnt think it was my place to tell my mom who to date. Well long story short....they dated for like 5 years....and the entire time....he made her upset...which in turn made my mom and i have lots and lots of fights. I also was gettig older...my opinion and the way i observed the situation changed. There was aaalways tension between her i and when she ws with him and talkn to e on the phone....i mean...for the last 3 years of the relationship...id say i pretty much ended up crying and hangning u with her almost every weekend while she was off with him at some casino, friends house in Grass Valley, Reno...etc. He was an alcoholic and treated her terrible. As time passed...i had been with my b/f for a long time and he helpd me through this time period with me havin anger towards her for not breakin u with this guy...etc. So when i was 20 i got engaged to my now husband. Well...needless to say...my moms piece of trash b/f was not invited...and that basically ended p being the last straw in their relationship. But after they broke up...i was still angry....and i coldnt let go of so issues i had with her. I feel like this guy ruind my relaionship with my mom. I'm now 22 years old and pregnant...my mom and i have been having issues ever since my wedding about a year and a half ago. We dont necissarily fight abt the ex b/f she had...but its more me unconciously punishing her i think. i am always angry and we do not get along very well.We do still o things together....but not like it use to be. I want to try counceling alone...no wit her jus yet. My mom does ALOT for me...especially being pregnant....and i feel guilty for being angry...bu i feel like theres damage to our mother - daughter relationship that cant be repaired after that ****** made me lose some respect for my mom....help!

Answer 1

Counciling would be best. Try sitting down with your mother and tell her how you feel (after counciling, so you don't get angry or she doesn't set off), and tell her you want to to be friends again. Tell her you should start things over, and be the best of friends again. She is your mother, sweetheart, she'll understand. :)

So, shes been mad ever since you married, ever thought she doesnt like your husband? Or the idea that your growing up?

Oh, ok. Maybe you should just start over, and stop holding a grudge. Its the best, soon this anger will turn into sadness, then depression, then you will think there is no reason for you to live anymore. It's best you seddle things now before disasters happen.

Answer 2

Yes I think you have good reason for being upset.  I also think the only way to come to terms with your feelings and, hopefully, improve your relationship with your mother is counseling for you.  And the sooner, the better.

This is a wonderful time in your life (and hers), expecting your first child and it would be a joy to you both to be able to enjoy it together.

Congrats and best wishes!

  

Answer 3

i think you should show your letter to your mom and i'd bet you don't argue and you'll probably have a good talk.

Answer 4

I think going to see a counselor is a great idea to start with your feelings and to learn how to address them with your mom.