Do you think if a natural or first mother doesn't want her child and the father does.?

Question

Should she be ordered to pay child support to the father? If the father doesn't want the child but the mother does than the father pays child support for 18 years.

What if it was the other way around? Do you think this is why alot of woman give their child up for adoption?

Answer 1

It should be the same for both.

Mother should pay child support for 18 years, too.

I suspect money might be part of the reason women who give their kids up, but I think it's usually spite.

Answer 2

No Sam, the mother is not responsible to pay child support. The father is whether he wants to keep the child or not. Of course the mother can spend on the child out of her free will but it is not an obligation.

Answer 3

that is a great question and i think they should.

My aunt was the only one in my family that truly loved me. When we found out she was dying of cancer we took a 5 mile talk walk (that's what we called it when we just spent quality bonding time together. we'd just walk slow and talk about everything.) and she told me that at some point my mother was running from someone. my aunt said every time my mohter would get a call from some guy we would move. that made perfect sense to me because my 7th grade year i went to 4 different schools with in 2 cities and states. she also said that my grandmother got a phone call once asking about my mother and once they hung up the phone they wondered if that could have been my father looking for me. My mother has always told me she didn't know my mother but i know she did. through my own research i found out they only stayed 3 miles from each other and my mother sent her a money order 2 months after i was born. Point being the money orders have my a mothers name on them. so they know her name if they want to find me. he may have wanted me.

I feel like any mother or father should be able to have custody of their child if they want to. I would also prefer adoption agencies to look into the fathers wants before approving an adoption. Adoption should not be the first choice. A father doesn't make any worse of a parent than a mother. I have a friend that has custody of his son and his sons mother has to pay child support. He's a great father. I think the same rule that applies to one should apply to the other.

Answer 4

Yes! If he's willing to raise the baby than he should have that option! And she should pay child support.

Answer 5

if a father has custody, the mother can be liable for child support. But I don't think there's any connection to adoption!!??

Answer 6

Of course she should pay child support unless she is willing to completely sign over her rights in which case she has no visitation rights, no right to have any say in the way the child is raised. It happens more than one would think.

Answer 7

It doesn't matter who is taking care of the child if both parents are known, then both parents are responsible for the child.  Even if the child lives with a relative or non-relative guardian, both parents are still responsible for the child and would have to pay child support.  So yes, the mother would have to pay child support.  As for giving the child up for adoption, I don't think many mothers give up their children to get around paying the father child support, although they may give up the child for other financial reasons.

Answer 8

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!  I wish the father of both my children even had the slightest interest.  When I placed the youngest for adoption at birth, he didn't even fight.  His response "Does this mean I only have to pay for one?"  He dropped out of sight a month later.  Neither me or our four year old have seen him or heard from him since.  Adoption agencies are terrible about father's rights.  If the couple who concieved are not married, the dad has almost NO rights if the woman decides to relinquish for adoption.  Personally, I think if a man lets a woman know from the get go that he is not interested in being a father, he should have no obligation to pay for that child.  Why should he?  If we decide we don't want to parent, the father cannot stop us from aborting of relinquishing.  And yes, he should have first dibs on parenting if he actually wants to be a good dad.  Let mommy know what its like to lose half her paycheck for a child she does not want.  Lots of women do it to men all the time.

Answer 9

My son's father signed over his parental rights to get out of paying $125 a month in support. So be it. He didn't want to parent and I didn't want my son around someone who didn't want him.

I think that an absentee mother should pay support at the same rate an absentee father does. My daughter lives with her father and we have an agreement in regards to her support. He makes far more money than I do so instead of giving him cash every month I am responsible for school fees and paying the lunch program, I buy her lunches, I am santa, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy, I purchase most of her clothing, I make her Halloween costumes (this year she was a Mummy Mommy and the costume cost me around $150 to make, man was it ever stunning!!!) and I take care of field trips and school supplies. Some months cost me next to nothing and others cost me a mint. But it works for us and I am more involved in her life than I would be if I just cut a check and had my every second weekend.

I think finances are often what drives a woman to relinquish her rights. Not sure if it is the fear of the father not paying support or the fear that she may have to if the father raises the child. I think it is more general, a fear of not being able to make ends meet and give their child the "best of life".

Answer 10

Yes the mother should pay unless she give the child up for adoption.

Here is our situation, my fiance found out that his ex left their 8 mo/old daughter home alone for 3 hours. He told her he wanted custody and the mother signed over custody voluntarily. She gets supervised visits with the baby (now 16 mos old) and she pays child support.

However she is now wanting more of her own life and has talked about letting me adopt the baby when my fiance and I get married next month. It would be a step parent adoption and I would be the baby's legal mother.

The birth mom would no longer have any legal right to see the baby (altho we would let her if she  wanted to). She will also not be obligated to pay child support.

In the event that my fiance and I should ever divorce, I would be able to get custody or visitation with the baby, and either be entitled to support for her (if I got custody) or be required to pay support for her (if he got custody). The birth mother would never be required to pay support no matter what.

Answer 11

if you are not raising your child, but your child's mother, father,  or grandparents have custody, and you get visitation rights, then you are required to pay child support, however if you decide to give up all rights to the child, then they cannot make you pay child support.  But you will no longer have any rights to the child, it is basically not your child anymore, kinda like giving your child up for adoption.  It makes no difference if you are male or female.

Answer 12

If one parent doesn't want to raise a child and the other one does, then yes they should pay child support. The other twist in this is that attorneys involved in contested adoptions where the father is wanting to raise his child are being forced to pay child support to the adoptive parents.  Shawn McDonald is a perfect example of this.  So is the Allison Quets case.  She is being expected to pay for her twin's education for the rest of their lives.  Right now the adoption is finalized on that one.  That is what she has to deal with.  I know of three fathers where that is happening.

Answer 13

Yes, the mother should pay support and actually often does.  The support is intended for the child and the child alone.  Which parent pays the support should not have any bearing on what the child is entitled to.   In terms of adoption, there are a lot of factors that play into this one.  Sure, I think that money crosses the minds of many women when they discovery they are pregnant, but I do not think the question "which of the parents will have to pay support" plays the major role in the decision to give up their child for adoption.

Answer 14

of course

Answer 15

Not if the father is like, rich or whatever. my parents divorced when i was 11,i stayed w/ my dad ,and since he  had enough money and my mother didnt she didnt have to pay him anything for me..i dont think she would if she had to tho. but if she can pay it and he doesnt have alot of money, ya.

Answer 16

A friend of mine got a girl pregnant in college.  They married, she had the baby (a little girl) and when the baby was nine months old, the mother left.  This was  over ten years ago.  I don't think he has received any child support, but that is because she waived all her parental rights to the little girl.

If she hadn't waived her rights, well I think she should be obligated to pay child support.  I think what she did was not very nice, to the child, and to my friend (who is a wonderful father to his daughter).  I do not think that men should get off so easy either.  A child needs to be treasured and loved, not just walked away from.  

I do not think that a lot of woman place babies for adoption because of not wanting to pay child support.  A LOT of guys are not up to the responsibility of solo parenting, and most would not want to raise a child alone (most people would not want to raise a child alone).  I think the decision to place for adoption is a complex and complicated one, we can't paint a broad picture over everyone and say "This is why they did it".  I personally feel, that MOST (not all) domestic newborn adoptions are the results of coercion on the parts of the agencies and even the PAP's.  

If the mother gives the baby up for adoption, doesn't that automatically waive her rights, and would not make it possible for her (or anyone else parenting the child) to collect child support from the father?  However, if the father is fighting the adoption, well...then yeah he should have to pay child support until custody is granted one way or the other.

Answer 17

People have this misconception about child custody and child support- that the mother always gets the kid (or deserves it more) and the dad has to pay child support. In reality, one PARENT gets the kid and the other had to pay. Not all women are meant to be mothers or deserve their kids or even want them. I know this is a concept many people won't accept. I had a good friend who's mother was the one that left, and his father raised him and his sisters, with the mother getting Sunday visitations and paying child support until they were all 18. She dimply had no desire to keep the children after the divorce and acknowledged that they were better off with the father. The courts agreed.

Answer 18

If the child has been put up for adoption she will have severed her parental rights and thus - only the adoptive parents are financially responsible for the baby. They chose to take over all responsibilities for the baby when they/he/she adopted it (as if they had given birth themselves) so No, in this case, the biological mother (or father) should not be paying anything to the adoptive parents.

If the mother gives custody of the baby to the father but is still the recognized mother - then Yes, she should pay child support, (just as the father would have to were she the sole custodian) as he is then the one who is providing for the baby.

I think women give up their babies for adoption only as a last resort, if they feel they are unable to properly care for them - whatever the reason (financially, emotionally, being too young etc). I do not think it is something that is done easily at all, but for the good of the baby. If you give your baby up for adoption, you give up all rights as that baby's parent to someone else. That is hard to do after you have carried and loved that baby inside you for nine long months.

Answer 19

If the father wants the child, yes, she is ordered to pay. If she doesn't and he goes to court, the custody may end up switched, so most men just suck it up.  I do not understand why judges don't hold women in contempt of court and throw them in jail for noncompliance of custody orders, but think nothing of doing so to men.

However, in the case of a mom who has already given her child up for adoption, and the adoption is declared null and void because the father never approved it, then he can't sue her for child support as the child is no longer hers. I know two men who actually had this happen to them. They got their sons back when they were about 1 year old and the kids have since graduated high school. No contact with mothers in either case.

Answer 20

I think whoever has custody of the child deserves child support from the other person. I personally know of a mother who gave her 2 boys to the father & he is raising them. She pays child support. I don't think child support has anything to do with a mother giving her child up for adoption.

Answer 21

Of course.  Why is it any different, for a man or woman?  I mean the mother did know what she was doing when she was having unprotected s*x, right?  Why should she be let off the hook when the father wouldn't?  I would hope that women give their children up for adoption b/c they want a better life for that child, one they can't provide.  Being w/ a biological parent, in my eyes, is better than giving up for adoption.  Hopefully, someone wouldn't be so selfish to give that child up just so they don't have to help pay to support something they helped make.

Answer 22

I think whomever has custody of the child should receive child support for 18 years or longer if the child is in university.

I think giving a child up for adoption could be financial but most doing hoping the child will have a better  live with two adoptive parents.  I raised my child on my own and it was difficult but I am glad I didn't give her up for adoption.  The struggle was worth it.

Answer 23

It does not matter who the custodian is the parents are responsible for child support until the child has been legally adopted. This means that if either parent surrenders his/her parental rights or have them terminated by the courts....he/she is still responsible for Child support until the child has been legally adopted. S

So if the courts give custody to one parent or even a realtive until age 18 then the parens are still obligated to pay support. The key words that people do not understand is "SURRENDERED RIGHTS and TERMIANTION of PARENTAL RIGHTS" Until a judge signs an order with that language  and grants the child free for adoption both parents still have rights and obligations.

The only way around it is the adoptive agency that has custody can sign a good cause letter asking that the Office of Child Support Enforcement not seek payment from the family.