Do you think if the red tape of local adoption was cut down people would stop or slow down going abroad?

Question

I know a lady who went to two agencies one private local adoption agency and one international one. She was told at the local one that it takes three to four years on average to get a child. The international agency told her she would have a child by the end of the year and this was in June of last year.

There are so many people looking to adopt but they get turned off by the hoops you have to jump through. As a Social Worker (not in adoption) i understand some of the things that AP have to go through but it is a bit excessive.

Answer 1

It is definitely possible.  I think a lot of that wait time does turn people away because in this day & time it's all about 'I want it now'.

I just wanted to throw this thought out here tho- People scream what about the thousands of kids in foster care & no doubt each one of those kids deserves a loving home but I see a lot of hate towards adoptive parents. And where I don't blame some of you for that hurt & how you may feel your life has been ruined by adoption it doesn't take away the fact that some of these parents deserve to raise a baby, whatever age they choose.

I don't think some people realize the hurt & pain some (as I won't say all) have gone through to have children & then not to be able to have them. I hate to be the one to say it but unfortunately, a lot of these people who do adopt aren't looking for a child that they have reteach to love them or to 'save' kids from terrible conditions that have addictions or are deemed unstable.  What some of these adoptive parents want are children they can feel are their own.  The older they get the harder it is for both parties to truly accept each other as 'family'.  

Now that I have a daughter of my own there is no way that I can believe that my adoptive parents love me the way I love her.  They don't know the difference but I do. Sorry to go way off topic but I use to have a lot of hate on being adopted but I was one of the fortunate ones.

Answer 2

I want a swimming pool and a new car.

Does that mean that I should get it when I click my fingers??

Infant adoption is about separating mother from child.

Can people not see the hurt and loss in this???

It's NOT good for a child to be separated from it's mother.

d**n celebrities for making adoption out to be such a wonderful an easy thing to do.

I've lived with adoption pain my entire 38 years.

I know over 100 adoptees that also feel this pain - daily.

And every week a new adoptee finds my blog - or finds me through other places online - and reaches out to me & other adoptees for support & friendship.

Why are adults wants and needs more important than that of the child???

Why on earth are Americans so obsessed with infant adoption - and encouraging it??

Encouraging women to give away their child - because the timing is all wrong????

(seriously s******g thinking people)

And then when they do it - they're happy with not allowing the child to know - personally - the family that they were born to??

(way too many adoptions are closed soon after the adoption is finalised - as they are not legally binding contracts)

I'm sorry - very sorry - for those that can't have their own babies - but why are they more entitled to babies - than the mothers that birthed them????

There are over 100,000 children in foster care that NEED loving families.

When are people going to understand that adoption SHOULD BE about the BEST INTERESTS of the CHILD??

NOT the best interests of the adults that have fallen pregnant at the wrong time - or the adults that can't have children of their own - or the adults that want a baby girl now because they have 2 boys??????

YES - adopt a child that truly NEEDS adoption.

One that has been taken from abusive parents.

One that is truly an orphan.

But stop encouraging the separation of mother and child - just for the sake of adults.

Please.

As for the red tape - adoptees have already had a rotten start to life (being given away / taken away - from their mother's, their family, their roots, their heritage) - and perhaps the authorities are just trying to make sure that the prospective adoptive parents don't s***w with the child's life some more.

Sadly - the red tape doesn't always work.

Sadly - too many are profiting from the adoption of infants.

I'm sorry if this sounds like such an angry rant - but really - just read through the questions on here today - and see how the American public have very screwed ideas about what's best for children.

Please know that this is NOT an anti bio family or anti adoptive family rant.

This is also not an angry rant aimed at any specific person here on Y!A.

I'm just trying to make a stand for the children here.

It MUST be about the children.

Answer 3

I don't think red tape is the issue so much as there aren't enough infants here in America to adopt.  I've had one domestic adoption and one international adoption.  There was way more red tape with the overseas adoption.

I'm really confused on this issue now more than ever.  I have to admit that i was naive when we first entered adoption.  We had lost a baby at 61/2 months of pregnancy and we were told as a result of this long and difficult labor i would never have children again.  It seemed cruel to be so close to being parents and then not to have a baby.  We just wanted a baby of our own.  We were in the white, bi-racial and African American domestic infant programs.  We figured whatever happened first was what was meant to be.  Our oldest daughter is bi-racial we were on cloud nine!

We were totally against overseas adoptions then.  As fate would have it we went on to have 3 birth children only one being planned.  We knew it was in our oldest daughters best interests to adopt again.  From research we found that having an adopted sibling makes all the difference in the world.  We also didn't want her to think she was some consolation prize.  We wanted to show her that adoption was a beautiful way to create a family.  Our daughter had said she also wanted someone to look like her in her family.  Who could argue.

We filed domestically again we were told it would take a while because of our number of children.  Four years later and three failed adoptions were taking a toll on our children.  It was so hard to have the babies home and then have to give them back.  We looked into foster care.

Foster care was up front saying that most of the children here were damaged from abuse, neglect or born drug addicted or were older.  They would not let us adopt out of birth order either.  We had to think of the children we already had and if it was fair to adopt a high needs child.  At this time in our lives we chose not to.

Ethiopian adoption was our last resort.  We are obligated by the Ethiopian government to send dr reports and pictures of our daughter every six months until the child is eighteen.  The pictures are then sent off to our Birth family.  We adopted a toddler the oldest we could adopt b/c they too won't let you adopt out of birth order.  Our youngest is an amazing child and such a gift!  Our last resort turned out to be the best decision ever!

My youngest daughter suffered starvation.  Happy to say she has gained 4lbs in 2 mo.  I thought it was 3 mo but i was wrong its only been 2 mo. She had hep A, parasites, and ring worm everywhere.  The poverty there is just gut wrentching.  I was charged $25.00 just to send a small photo book to Africa.  So sending clothes and food is out, i can't even imagine what the postal bill would be.  We have sponsored families there but what else can we do to help?  IDK

Once we raise our first family, we would love to do foster care adoption of a sibling group.  That way they can have our full attention, devotion and love.  We just adore children.  Sorry so long we just have had a little experience with everything.

Answer 4

I don't feel there is a lot of "red tape" at all for domestic adoption.  There are some people who are not interested in adopting domestically because of the fear that a birthmother will attempt to reclaim custody of the child.  In foreign adoptions, there is not much chance of that, due to the lack of paper trail, lack of human rights, and lack of power.  Originally, the thrust to adopt overseas came from people seeking out "Caucasian" babies.  Not so much anymore.  

But the thorough and tedious process is structured to protect children and birthmothers, and I believe it is a good thing.

Answer 5

Yes definitely.  But, our system makes it too difficult to get a baby.  I know a lot of people who've gone abroad out of sheer exasperation here.  It's quite sad.

Answer 6

red tape isn't a bad thing . . . we are talking about a human life......

yet, 'regular' parents who have their own child aren't required to go through any kind of background checks or anything else.  They can just breed 'em as they wish .. .

i can agree with Lillie and a few others re: the celebrity ideal of collecting kids like souveniours.  I guess it's the 'it' thing.

Answer 7

i dont know how adoption really works, but i know that they have to go through all kinds of things to even get approved to get a baby. its just the measures i think they should take. it is a human life, not a puppy.

Answer 8

Three or four years to get a child or get an infant?

If it's to get an infant, the wait will probably remain unless somehow the US has a huge culture shift and more people start to put their kids up for adoption instead of raising them.

There are simply not that many infants available.

If it is that long of a wait to adopt an older child, maybe your friend should look into foster to adopt.  There are tens of thousands of children waiting for a good home.

Answer 9

The thing is...Adoption is suppose to be about finding a home for a child that needs a home..not finding a baby for a couple that wants it.

And in a perfect world all children would be safe and cared for their own parents...so why would we want more adoptions?? That means that more things in our system are breaking down...

Just because someone wants a baby doesn't mean they need to have one..they don't become more deserving because they wait longer, or pay more either. I mean, heck..I really really want a new car and I have been waiting for a long time.

Answer 10

The problem is that there are not enough healthy infants for all the people who want them, while older children and those with disabilities languish in foster homes and orphanages around the world. Things would go quicker for your friend if she were willing to adopt a child who is less than her idea of "perfect".

Answer 11

Removing the red tape probably would cause more to adopt in our own country.  But as much as our system needs improving, perhaps slowing down  the adoption process isn't bad.  We have a judicial system that is designed to move slowly so as to avoid mistakes.   I am a proponent of adoption in the right instances, but I think this sense of adoption on demand is wrong.  Something this life changing should not be rushed through at the possible expense of all parties involved.  While I understand why people find it hard to wait and go overseas, I do not think that the systems abroad are one's we necesarily need to emulate.   Any dream should be worth waiting for.

Answer 12

Some of the hoops are simply because there are not enough healthy, white infants which is probably what your ladyfriend wanted.  There are plenty of less healthy infants and healthy infants who are not strictly Caucasian.  Our state has some limitations, for instance adoption an infant that is part Native American is pretty difficult if you or partner are not also NA.  Black children are often held longer to allow black couples to adopt them first.

My relative finalized an adoption last year of a now 8 year old who was passed over by more than 90 couples. She was abandoned at birth (yes available for adoption by 2 months old!) and had a heart defect.  While there was a requirement for a stay-at-home mom due to her heart defect, it was sad that she had to wait 7 years for someone to not care that she was ill but fixable.  She will be having surgery later this year to repair the defect (everything paid for by the state). She's adorable!

Answer 13

I doubt it.  I think too many people are in love with the idea of having this exotic adoptee from another country.  It's been so sensationalized by the recent wave of celebrity adoptions, more and more people are jumping on the bandwagon and wanting to adopt a little orphan from across the ocean.

Add into that the natural fear of the birth mother coming back into the picture, and international adoption is a perfect fit for a lot of PAP's.

Answer 14

This may be slightly off topic, but part of the reason the wait is so long is not too many mom's give up newborns by choice.   And when infants/ children are removed from the home, it's not like they are ripped out and adopted straight away.   The court makes numerous efforts to unite the original family.   And in the mean time the children languish in foster care etc.    When giving away a HUMAN to be loved, cherished, and entrusted for care, i'm personally glad the red tape is thick.    If you really want it bad enough you'll do it, if it's such a rush that you have to do it NOW NOW NOW, i wonder about a persons motives.(by YOU i mean generally, not the poster)