Do you think if we put less emphasis on s*x....?

Question

divorce rates would go down? The number 1 reason for a marriage to end in divorce is adultery. So my question is if we put our priorities straight, maybe the rate would go down? instead of puting s*x as your number one priority?

P.S.: Oh to the ones saying that s*x is a natural need, i agree but tell me this...if you were in a desert, dying of hunger which would you chose? a plate of steak or a woman to have s*x with? and no you couldn't choose both. someone thinking normally and acting on needs would take the steak first because he was dying of hunger.

Answer 1

I agree with you that in some relationships there's to much emphasis on s*x and if it weren't such a do or die scenario in relationships, the divorce rates would go down. s*x is not the number one reason that people get divorced.

1) "The number one reason is money. They say money makes the world go around "

The other top reasons for divorce:

2)Infidelity.

3) Poor communication

4)Change in priorities. This can be caused by having kids or due to ones job, big things.

5)Lack of commitment to the marriage.

5)Sexual problems.

Other reasons that come up frequently, but not as frequently are:

6)Addictions

7)Failed expectations of your spouse (believing one is a super hero or that he/she can fix or be everything to or for you)

8)Physical, emotional or sexual abuse.



I really don't feel that s*x is a natural need, but a natural requirement since s*x is technically meant for procreation, and humans are one of many species out there that has s*x just for fun. I believe that s*x is an emotional need in a relationship, and must be present in order to make the relationship stronger.

Answer 2

I would say that we need to emphasis s*x MORE.  We need to understand the beauty, and sacredness of s*x.

Marriage is s*x; cachechismly speaking.  It's very similar to the Eucharist.  We believe in one baptism (one marriage); which anyone can baptize, and the people in the marriage administer the sacrament of marriage each time they have s*x.  We are told to confess our sins and seek reconciliation before we take the Eucharist; before having s*x, we're asked to reconcile the marital differences in marriage (money, health, psychological, ect).  "The Catholic Duty" is to reconciled & take the eucharist one a year ... however, it's encouraged to do so more frequently;  same with marriage, having s*x at LEAST once a year keeps the marriage bonded, but usually, both partners request it more.

In short, we need to examine how s*x is designed to work in marriage from God rather than from the TV, internet, or porno.

Answer 3

i would pick the woman and then eat her after i was done!!

Answer 4

I agree with you.  I think it's important to have a healthy sexual relationship but it isn't everything.  I really believe that people who demand s*x everyday are totally clueless about their relationships.  You know the people I'm talking about.  They want to cheat or leave at the drop of a dime if THEIR needs aren't fulfilled.  That is NOT what being a partner is all about.  I think for some of those people reality has just not set in yet.

For me s*x got put on the back burner when my husband's mom became ill.  He was a nurse to her 24/7.  Unfortunately she passed away & we were both with her at that time.  Our relationship is so much stronger because of what we've been through.  I can't imagine viewing my husband as just a body or a toy for my amusement.  It actually pisses me off how self absorbed some people can be.  Yeah it would be nice to have more s*x but I'm glad that's not ALL my husband thinks about.  If it were I couldn't see us making it.  

Answer 5

No, people need to stop getting married so frivolously and at young ages, which drive up the divorce rate.  They need to learn marriage is very serious and not "super dating".

s*x is a natural need, but it isn't about survival of the person, but the species.  The species loses its s*x drive, we die out.

Answer 6

Actually you are WRONG.....The number one reason for divorce is NOT adultery, it is "irreconcilable differences" which are normally caused by money issues and/or people just not being able to agree or get along.

That said, s*x is a VERY important part of any relationship. If the s*x life is bad, it causes other issues even if no one cheats!

Just a FYI - The BS you read on yahoo answers is NOT real life. According to the stuff you read here 80% of men and 70% of women cheat and that s hit just isn't true! Yes cheating happens but not like you read here.

Answer 7

I think i'd take the woman.

If i was dying of hunger, i might as well get laid once more before i go!

Answer 8

After reading what a few comments have been responding to your question, those ppl who responded retardedly are those who never have enough, they are so selfish and only think of themselves, 'the casual poster' and frank who ever the h**l he is, i swear ppl on this site always ask the same questions everyday, and yes its always about the same thing!

s*x IS BUILT UP TO BE SO GREAT, AND MADE TO SEEM AS THOUGH A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD REVOLVE AROUND IT.thats not true, sure s*x should be wonderful and what not, but wasnt the original idea of s*x, only suppose to be between a man and woman who were married to one another? but not today, not in 2008, where men and woman have no shame to go outside of their marriage just to fulfill that need that they arent getting with their spouse, instead of discussing it thoroughly, or finding a resolution to the obvious problem, people would rather just go to someone else, who also has no problem being a little homewrecker, or dawg also.

I am SICK, .. SICK, SO TOTALLY SICK. of how s*x is placed so high up, i mean d@mn, we cant turn on the tv, we cant turn on the radio, we cant do ANYFREAKENTHING, without the mention of s*x in it. and its stupid,

Answer 9

I agree with you to a point.  I feel that s*x should have a lot of emphasis on it, it's a very important part of a healthy, happy marriage.  That being said, I feel where the error lies is in HOW we prioritize s*x.  In my opinion, there shouldn't even be the option to go out and find it elsewhere - your mindset needs to be "s*x is a priority, but only with my spouse.  If I cannot get it from my spouse, than I do not get it at all - we need to work on making one another happy and fulfilled, in and out of bed."

It's when people change their mindset from that to "Well if my spouse won't give me when I need in OR out of bed, I'll go get my gratification elsewhere" that makes marriages go sour.  People just don't put what they should into their vows anymore.  Grr.

And Mammal - don't be an idiot.  You wouldn't be dying from hunger anymore if you took the steak, therefore you wouldn't need to sleep with the woman because you'd still be alive and able to sleep with any other woman, anytime.

Answer 10

There is so much wrong with your PS that I don't know where to begin.  You are not making a fair comparison, because eating and s*x are at two different layers of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.  Read about that and then get back to me:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hi...

Most importantly, though, the divorce rate would go down if people had more s*x, not less.  Study after study shows that the more a married couple has s*x, the more likely they are to stay together.  It makes sense, too.  More s*x means that the spouses are making time for each other, are attracted to each other, care about each other, and consider the marriage important enough to set aside time to be intimate with each other.

In short, I could not disagree with you more strongly.  Finally, I will leave you with this thought: I have been married for 22 years so far; how long have you been married?

Edit: I made the mistake of committing adultery over a decade ago, which is apparently longer than you have even been married.  I made a mistake, learned from it, and became a better husband and man as a result of having learned some very important values lessons.  Yes, I think I know a little more about this subject than you know.

Answer 11

People are retarded.  Clear and simple.  Look around you....s*x is made to be this big freaking deal..........and read through questions on here.....stupid women always trying to dress up, swing from chandeliers and try to outdo themselves and it is ridiculous.

The whole art of "lovemaking" is completely lost on these clueless, Godless souls............but that's ok, let them have their p**n, and their swinging and their other bullshit......there is no hope for the lost....

Answer 12

I would say your assumptions are incorrect, the #1 reason for a marriage to end is FINANCIAL reasons.  This is why the young & poor play a huge role in divorce statistics (you remove them from the equation and our divorce rate isn't so bad).

At any rate, all I really have to say is why do two people get married? Most people will say it is because of "love" (as they define it).  Now the thing about humans and our relationships (us being selfish) is that it requires reciprocal meeting of needs or the relationship quickly falls apart.

Take for instance people claim they "love" their friend.  What happens though when your friend treats you like c**p, never helps you (while you always help them), expect YOU to hang out when they want but can never do so when YOU would like them to.  Ya, you jettison them off..bye bye relationship.

You could look at the claims of "love" between family members.  The bottom line here is that once again, if only ONE person is making the effort while the other is a leech who always takes advantage than that relationship is doomed as well.

So how does this all tie in with "s*x" & marriage.  Well the bottom line is that one of the primary "needs" of many men / women IS s*x.  So what happens when you expect your spouse to meet YOUR needs but you never meet something that they would really really like?  Ya, eventually they will wonder what the h**l is going on.  So while YOU might personally find "s*x" not to be a "want" or a point of emphasis, what is important in a marriage is that you make sure it ISN'T a point of emphasis for your spouse..because if it is and you aren't meeting their needs while expecting them to bow down before YOURS..well good luck with that.