Question:

Do you think if you read this you will have to change your depends?

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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my

Wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the

sink, or else

After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally

Proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork

from the first bottle

and poured the contents down the sink

with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did

likewise with it,

with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle

And poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the forth bottle down the sink

and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one

sink out of it,

and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork

down the bottle.

Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink

and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with

one hand.

counted the glasses, corks,bottles, and sinks with the

other,

which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I

counted them again,

and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I

drank.

I’m not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep

I am.

I’m not half as thunk as you might drink.

I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me,

And the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

I’m not drunk you shilly sit!

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14 ANSWERS


  1. Suzie s - so funny. I just read this to my husband. We are laughing so hard. Do you think that Shilly sit was the comedian Foster Brooks?

    Love it DeeJay.


  2. No Depends on Suzie ! !  But I sure made a quick trip some where else ! !  LOL LOL

  3. That depends!  Good that he at least was able to finish the last glass of each bottle.... he will probably remember that for days to come.  Chuckles and stars, and no depends!

  4. and it is all the wife's fault?  if he had married wiser, this needn't  have happened.

    for heaven's sake stop with the thumbs down, my answer was a joke, as was the question!!!

  5. Suzie you rock!!!!! LOVED IT!!!

  6. This really made me laugh...I am assisting a Couple prepare their wedding favours for the table.  They have little tuxedo's and M&M's with both their names on them and that is what i have to  put inside!  Well, the problem...one for the tin one for me..hahaha SO this really hit home.  Thanks for sharing Suzy!!!

  7. A very good 'un.

  8. Early 80's was my finish  -  just wish it had been sooner.

  9. Just like Tony Randall and "tee many martunis."

  10. PMSL, he was a scot, ye it was me

    very good ;)

  11. Now that was a really good chuckle, thanks again for sharing with us.  I

  12. LMBO. I read it twice. Thank you. I always enjoy these little jokes.  Poppy

  13. Hehe. Very funny!!

  14. Hilarious Suzie - I do not use depends - but I did have to make a mad dash to the bathroom - you see I am not as thunk as you drink I am.

    Hugs and a star!

    CJ

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