Do you think it's considered abuse when parents call their kids names?

Question

A close friend of mine, who is otherwise a good parent, is constantly belittling her children. For example she calls her 2yo a "brat" and " a little sh-t" and says " I'm gonna fricken beat your a$s". I feel like this is wrong and sad. I want to say something to her but I think she would just counter with the fact that she doesn't actually physically abuse them. What does everyone else think about this, is this considered child abuse? Should I say something to her or just let her parent the way she choses? Thanks so much.

Answer 1

She may not physically be abusing them but she is VERBALLY abusing them. And sometimes that can be more harmful. Unfortunately I don't know how much you can say to her about it. Just please keep a close eye on the situation and if it gets any worse let CPS know.

Answer 2

You cant do much about it because it really isnt your business....but it is abuse. it is mental and verbal abuse. If you do chose to talk to her, come prepared with the definitions of those two abuses, tell her you love her and her kids and just want whats best for them in their lives.

I believe that mental and verbal abuse is worse then being physically abusive by far. A bruise will heal eventually, but a kid will not forget their mom calling them names.

Answer 3

That is emotional/verbal abuse.  It can have just as much of a toll if not worse on children.  Physical wounds eventually heal, but wounds of the soul can sometimes never heal completely.

I honestly would say something just because it's in my nature to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves.  I wouldn't be rude about it, but simply ask "how do you think that may make your son/daughter feel by calling them that?"  Perhaps they mean no harm by it and don't really think about it.  Other times they just need a wake up call.

Answer 4

i think in a way it is abuse. u should talk to her about it and tell her that she should stop.

Answer 5

Texas mommy is a judgemental, bible hugging freak. She beats her children and calls them names. She has stated that she hates them and is a bad parent. Dont listen to anything she says

Answer 6

heck yeah! that's what you call verbal abuse!

Answer 7

ive called my kids a brat, a lil **** and threatened 2 beat there ***.

Answer 8

Emotional and verbal abuse can even be worse than physical abuse. My husband was never physically abused by his parents, but he was verbally and emotionally, and no one came to his rescue - and he has internal scars today from the abuse.  SAY something.   If she listened then you have helped the children, if she doesn't you have at least reached out to try and help.

Answer 9

this is verbal abuse which can be very harmful to a child. parents are supposed to be protectors and never want to cause emotional scars for there children. being that this is a close friend of yours i would really be cautious on how you address the matter so that you dont lose the friendship...so maybe the next time you hear her say something like do you really think thats appropriate to say to your child or maybe just simply say that wasnt nice and maybe that will open up the door to communication.

Answer 10

that'd be verbal abuse.

Answer 11

you should talk to her about it. It is abuse. If she says its not physical, tell her it is just as bad. We as parents are our childrens models for future relationships. she is teaching her child that its ok for people to talk to him/her this way. She is also undermining her childs self esteem.  If she speaks to her child like this in front of you, imagine what goes on behind closed doors!

Answer 12

of course this is abusive. Anything that can damage a child emotionally or physically is abusive. Even though physical wounds heal it's still abuse...ridiculous for someone to even say that as if calling names is abuse but physical wounds are ok because they heal...stupid.

Answer 13

it is called emotional abuse & may demoralize the child. you risk loosing her friendship if you say something. if you have children ask her to take a parenting class with you tell her you think you need some polising of your tecniques.

Answer 14

She is verbally abusing them. This, I think, is illegal.. I THINK. Call the cops or something.

Answer 15

yes u should say something 2 her thats so mean, how sad for that baby!

Answer 16

I whole heartedly belive that name calling is a form of abuse.  I mean you can actually sue or be sued over what you call a person.  I can not, for the lif of me, understand why people degrade their children like that.  Theyre nothing more than bullies!  

Yes, I would absolutley speak to this person.  Expect to be cussed at (it's almost expected) and expect to be told to mind your budiness.  

Just think of oit this way, maybe she's never been confronted on her choice of language towards her children, most people who do this have no ide how it sounds, looks, and more importantly how they may be making their children feel.  

Good Luck!

Answer 17

it's verbal abuse and, at least here in canada, the CAS would very much like to talk to her about her behaviour.

physical abuse is bad - but the scars from verbal abuse are much deeper because they hit at the core of the child's personality.

by all means, tell her - or if you don't want to chance it, just report her to Children's Aid.

"abuse" isn't just hitting a child.

there is verbal abuse - calling names and insulting them.

emotional abuse - verbal abuse is a component; emotional abuse is basically playing mind games so the child becomes emotionally crippled and dependant on the parent's goodwill.

neglect - failing to provide adequate care and supervision.

sexual abuse - obvious

financial abuse - using money as a weapon to control the child.

she probably thinks she's being funny - my dad was like that.  call us names and when we get upset, he's all "what, you can't take a f--g joke?!?"  then tell us we're "too sensitive" and we're "wussies".

and yes - i'm 41yrs old and i still live with the pain.  it's not something you ever really get over; you just learn to cope with it.

kammy:  if it's none of the asker's business, whose business is it when a child is being mistreated?  attitudes like that is what allows child abuse to proliferate.

kyle:  i hope to high heaven you have no children.

Answer 18

yes it is verbal abuse