Do you think it's messed up that my wife compared herself to a photo of the widow of her dead once-boyfriend?

Question

My wife's high school boyfriend (from 20 years ago) was recently violently killed. She didn't attend the wake or funeral, but did see a pic of his family in the paper and began comparing herself to the poor guy's wife in a catty way.

Is this messed up or a normal human reaction?

Answer 1

messed up Buddy, tell her "What the h**l is the matter with you are you crazy? Why do you care what she looks like? If you are still in love with him you should have gone to his wake, what, you think you are better than she is? Dam!!!". and leave it at that.  Leave her feeling stupid, stupid for comparing her self to someone else, she should be satisfied with who she is and who she is with.

Good luck to you and take care....Keep the Faith....Peace....cya....

you don't have to tell your wife anything, but if it was me I would, again good luck....

Answer 2

Did she know the wife? Maybe she never cared for her. I guess if she's just doing this in the privacy of her own home, it's not as bad as if she did it in front of the person's relatives or if she had gone to the funeral and said those things. It does seem kind of catty, though, and yeah, a little messed up. Is she not very secure in herself? It sounds as though she needs to constantly boost her own ego, whether at other's expense or not. She's just a very competitive person, and easily threatened. I don't know what threat this woman would be to her now, as this was all so long in the past. Maybe she's haunted by her past. Your wife needs some therapy. ; P

Answer 3

its completely normal, she wasnt exactly being insinsitive to the fact that he died, just that she takes pride in knowing that he couldnt do better than her!

Answer 4

I would say she is not behaving in an appropriate manner.

Perhaps she is thinking "what if" and is regretting some of her choices in life.

Answer 5

Has she visited the widower?.....if so watch out...the spark might turn into a flame

Answer 6

I could see you do that.

Actually, I remember you doing that about something else...

Answer 7

I think it's a little - okay, seriously messed up, I mean come on...A high school boyfriend from 20 years ago - and she's comparing herself to his wife when he's dead?! That is catty, and it's a bit weird too: there must be a reason she's doing it. Are you sure she didn't have any kind of relationship with him right before he died?

And it's really insensitive too; the poor widower's going through a h**l of a lot right now. I don't think your wife has a right - maybe you should ask her what's going on? Is she /still/ hung up over him? Maybe she went to highschool too and they were rivals or something...

Answer 8

Maybe she thinks that after they broke up, She was all he could think about and he had to go out and find a wife that looked just  like her.

:)

Answer 9

It is catty and distasteful. Maybe she has low self-esteem and need to put others down to make herself feel better, or maybe she thinks she is the best thing ever and constantly reminds herself, and anybody else in earshot of it

Answer 10

That's very messed up,she has been a lawyer to long,her feelings have disappeared LOL.Actually I think it is pretty normal to compare yourself to other people in photos,especially with those you once shared a past relationship with,but considering the circumstances it was pretty shallow to make comments like that,even if your thinking it,to say it out loud,that's pretty rotten.Low self esteem is my guess as to why she would make a comment like that,people that feel the need to one up themselves constantly are usually a mess inside,she may be a bear in the court room but it seems like her self image is low in private,I would suggest counseling for her but she would probably cross examine him until he cracked.

Answer 11

yes your ex wife is a head case