Do you think it's okay for a couple who are trying to adopt to...?

Question

Do you think it's okay for a couple who are on the adoption waiting list to ask a teen mother-to-be in mid July to adopt her baby to them?

The pregnant teenager has made it clear before being asked that she is keeping her baby.

I guess, I'm just wondering the extent someone will go to adopt a baby. Even if it means deeply offending another person.

Answer 1

No I do not think this is okay. If you want your child, then no one should even be asking for him or her. It is not like the child is an extra piece of gum.

Some people have such pain from infertility that they are desperate to be parents. A person or couple that would ask someone for their baby, should NOT be passing their home study. They need to work thru their infertility issues first.

Answer 2

I guess it is okay, if they thought she may be giving it up, and they could give it a good home. If once she said no, then they pressured her, that would be wrong. If they kept asking and made her doubt her desicion, that would be wrong.

although, they are desperate, so yeah.

Answer 3

No, it's not right. But maybe they thought if you might have ever considered adoption (even though you're saying you're keeping the baby) that they could sway you? I'm not nutz about babies, so I'm not trying to make excuses for them, but I'm trying to figure out what they were thinking.

Answer 4

NOPE!!!!! They wouldn't ask a married 30 yo that question. Why is it that us young mom's don't get the same respect.

Congrats on keeping your baby, motherhood is wonderful!

Answer 5

No, that is not okay. If you know d**n well the mother isn't going to give up her baby, then you have no right to ask or pressure her.

I would NEVER offend anyone for something i want. That is just sad that you would even consider it.

Answer 6

Next time you see them and they bring it up, just say very firmly, I am keeping my baby and walk away.

Answer 7

Every time I hear about this happening it shocks me. I'm an adoptive mother, but it never occurred to me to go up to random women (no matter how young) and question them about their plans. It's predatory and creepy and I think borders (or perhaps is) harrassment. It's like a gross older man going up to a pretty young girl and trying to talk her into having s*x with him simply because she's in a short skirt. It's presumptuous. And if anyone approaches you again, I would tell them that what you do with YOUR child and YOUR life is NONE of their d**n BUSINESS. Kudos to you for standing your ground.

Answer 8

No it wrong and I would call the police just to put a scare in them so they don't do it to another teen mom. The police showing up at the door might snap them back into sanity.

I don't get why these people just don't get therapy instead of manipulating and coercing teens into giving them a baby. Its demented on many levels.

Answer 9

Hi Hello,

It is NOT okay.  Stay away from them, please.  Good for you for standing your ground.  Best wishes to you and your baby.

Answer 10

This kinda stuff makes me twitch.

They could give a rip about offending you.

Your baby is  a means to an end for them.

Lord I hate the desperation in adoption.

Answer 11

No, it's not okay.  If they knew you were keeping the child, there is no excuse for that behavior.

If they didn't know, then asking to be considered if you decided to give the baby up would be okay.

I'm sorry they were so mean to you.  Please don't think all adoptive parents are like that.

Answer 12

No, that's not acceptable behavior.  It's predatory and uncivilised; but it happens frequently :(

Answer 13

NO, it's not OK!

It's your baby not theirs. Don't agree to anything. People like this will do anything to get a baby without regards to who it hurts in the process.

Answer 14

No, it's not OK.  An expectant mother should never be approached by anyone to see if they want to adopt out their child.

Answer 15

That is REALLY rude and inconsiderate of them.  Obviously they are crazed for a child and aren't thinking straight.  I am so sorry you have to deal with that.

Answer 16

Don't sell your soul for a baby.  Keep your integrity.  Of course this isn't right.  The mother has already said she wants to keep her baby.  Don't judge her, show her some respect and move on.

ETA-Oh hey, I didn't know you were the teen.  It sounded like you were the one doing the hounding. :-)  In any case, no it is not right.  You need to be respected for your decision and they need to back off.

Answer 17

No, dear, it's definitely not right.  I'm sorry that happened to you, and I'm glad you are so confident and strong.  Good luck with your baby!

Answer 18

i had my child at 17, and she is now 15..keep the kid and who cares what they think..its called harassment..there are many baby's for adoption out there...

Answer 19

Its totally not OK.  They have no right to your child.  Its sad that they can't have one of their own but that doesn't mean they are entitled to yours!!

If they really want a child they should adopt one who is genuinely orphaned from abroad and not try to snatch a child from its mother! God that makes me angry . . .

Answer 20

It is never OK to ask a pregnant woman for her child. And there is no excuse for it. People like this give other adoptive parents a bad name.

Since they are not worried about offending you, I think that gives you the right to be very blunt with them.

Best of luck with your baby.  I was also a teen parent and know that being a teen mother does not mean you will not be a good mom.

Answer 21

Dear Helllooo,

It is NEVER acceptable to covet someone's child - ESPECIALLY if it has been made clear that the child is wanted.

Some people have NO morals or even ettiquette! I hope you avoid them in the future!!

I hope you have an easy pregnancy and a happy, healthy future with YOUR family!!

Answer 22

ask the girl if she was looking into adoption.. if she says yes.. then go into the "oh well funny thing.. we're looking to adopt" speech.

if she wants to keep it for herself then offer to babysit. if she knows anyone who might be looking into adoption to please let you know because you're looking into it.