Do you think it's "cheating" if you're in a relationship and having an emotional affair with a coworker ...

Question

My ex and I were together for 10 years. We were having problems toward the end (trust issues from unresoled stuff in the past) and I was telling him that things were going to have to change or we should just be friends for the sake of our son together.

Then he ends up breaking up with me on Christmas night and tells me he just doesn't think we click anymore... and about a week later I get a $500 cell phone bill showing that he'd been texting a 15 year younger coworker (he's 35 and she's 20) non-stop all day while the two are both working together the same hours. I'm talking over 100 text messages back and forth every single day almost.

When I confronted him as this was going on for a month or so bfore he left... he told me that it was just a friendship and he doesn't consider it wrong. He said he hid it because he 'knew how I'd react'.

He was apparently also sneaking around with this girl geting together to hang out and smoke pot together and was telling me he was working. She is engaged and living with her fiance. They've since stopped talking I guess, but he still thinks he didn't do anything wrong and says it has nothing to do with why he left.

Do you think he was cheating? He says yes he liked her but that it's not cheating because he didn't have s*x with her. Supposedly.

What do you think?

Why wuld a 35 year old man be texting a 20 year old non-stop and sneaking around smoking pot with her when he has me and a toddler at home???

Answer 1

In lots of ways I think you already know these answers deep down. I think it is time to re-evaluate the situation and prepare to move on - quickly. Best wishes. UK

Answer 2

First of all if he had to sneak around with the girl,  then yeah in my book that is cheating. He could have told you that he was talking or texting her.  But being that he didn't, he did not want you to know and he probably broke up with you because of her.  I have been in a few relationships similar to your situation, and come to find out they were cheating on me.