Do you think it's right for your boyfriend/significant other to go to their exes wedding?

Question

My boyfriend of over a year is still friends with his ex-girlfriend. He is pretty open and honest and says they are friends. That's fine. But now he wants me to go to his ex-girlfriends wedding and be there with him. I feel REALLY uncomfortable and think it's BS. What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

As long as you are with him, there should be no problem. Enjoy yourself and celebrate the fact that now she is married and will not present any threat to your relationship.

Answer 2

I'm getting married next year and my ex husband will be there with his partner. My husband to be has no probs with this. They get on great.

My partner and I have also been on nights out where his ex girlfriend of 17 years has been there and although I was a bit apprehensive about it at first it was fine.

You shouldn't worry. He is with you, he obviously wants you to be with him so he mustn't have anything to hide. And not forgetting ... his ex is marrying someone else!!

Go!!! you might even have a good time.

Answer 3

I-N-S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y

I just went with my boyfriend's to his ex's wedding with him two weeks ago. Drove from Staten Island to Maryland, and back and I had a frickin' BLAST the whole time!!!!!! Go, you might be surprised how much fun you can have if you just let go of your insecurity.

Edit: Thumbs down for the truth. I just don't understand how jealousy and insecurity plays any good roles in a relationship. My boyfriend, (technically fiancee, but I like using boyfriend more, its cuter)  understands that my best friend is a man. He has no qualms about me hanging out with Don, by ourselves and *gasp* in his place!!!! Please, me and him play video games, drink some beers and make fun of the crazy dude across the street. We have absolutely no sexual tension between us, and never has been, because well, I am not 5'6" +  blonde with DDD, size 2 pants and I actually have a brain, and he isn't my Matthew. We are more like brother and sister then anything else, and each other wingmen when the need arose.



The point is, men and women can have platonic relationships. Even men and women, who used to date, can still have platonic relationships. You see, many people think because you get along with someone of the opposite s*x, its automatically a romantic match. It isn't. Its two people that get along and can have fun without having s*x with one another, and should have been that way from the get-go. I have plenty of male friends that wanted to date me, then realized, h**l no they didn't, friends fine, but I was NOT dating material for them, but we have a fun time as friends.

Answer 4

Go with him!  If you think you will be uncomfortable being there with him, then think of how uncomfortable you will be at home thinking about what he is doing there without you.  At least he asked you to go with.

Answer 5

if my ex were getting married I would be there. We are still very very close friends but there is also an understanding that we were not meant to be. My fiance is completely comfortable with our closeness because afterall, I am marrying HIM, not my ex. My ex is an amazing man who will actually be playing the ceremony music at my wedding. If he's still friends with her and she is getting married there is nothing for YOU to worry about - she's off the market and so are you, right? I would def go and have a blast!!!

Good luck

Answer 6

If they were friends, I wouldn't have any problem with it. His friends are my friends. But if you're uncomfortable, let him know - you don't have an obligation to go.

Answer 7

Well, if it was me I would go because obviously nothing is going between the two of them, if he attending her wedding. Your the new woman now dont worry about it and go

Answer 8

Obviously, I don't know the whole story but I'm friends with my ex. We met through mutual friends and when we broke up we still hung out with the same group so of course we had to stay friends.

Also, remember: She's getting married. She probably won't give a c**p if he's there or your there. Get secure with yourself and go.

Answer 9

Jealousy & insecurity only make YOU look bad.  So, if you really want to look good and make sure your man knows just what an amazing woman you are, then you'll go....and you'll go looking more gorgeous than you've ever looked before.  The week before, you need to casually say "oh I'm thinking of treating myself to some highlights or something".  That way, you can go, get an awesome new hairdo and just seem casual about it.  If you wait to go right before the wedding, he'll know you're just trying ot look good to SPITE his ex and that just makes you look immature.  Then, be sure you have a gorgeous yet appropriate dress - don't show alot of skin, just enough.  Get your nails done and I promise, when you show up on his arm, you'll feel confident & proud.  It might actually be good for you to go because then you can dance all close w/ him & subtly show that he's your man and how much the 2 of you love each other.  I don't think you have anythign to fear from this woman - she is getting married afterall!!  It might actually make you feel better about their friendship to see how they interact together.  Then you can see firsthand if you think there's any old lingering attraction there.  And you'll get to see how in love she is with ANOTHER man - not your man.  It will do alot to boost your self-esteem and you just come off looking like the mature, supportive girlfriend!

Answer 10

no that is weird. don't go. send a gift if he wants to do that but don't go.

Answer 11

At least he's asking you to go with him.  It could be worse...he could say he was going without you.

If you knew they were friends when you started dating (which you probably did since you said he's being open and honest) then I'm sure this isn't the only time something that made you uncomfortable about his relationship with her has come up.  I understand feeling awkward and even a bit jealous, but if they really are just friends or if it's a friend of the family kind of thing that he's expected to go to, I can see why he would want to go.

He shouldn't dance with her though.  Tell him you'll go, but that he's dancing with YOU.

She won't be concerned with him.  It's HER day with the man she's chosen to marry.  Which wasn't your boyfriend.  It will all be a blur to her, and I doubt she'll want to dance with your guy anyway.

Plus, (bonus for you) once she's married she'll probably start spending most of time with other married people and will be concerned with her new husband and her new life with him, which means your guy probably won't be hanging out with her much or at all anymore.

One more thing:  You don't want to look like the jealous, insecure current girlfriend.  He's with you because he wants to be with you.  Go and have fun, eat some food (which she's buying for you), dance, and enjoy the time with your boyfriend.

Answer 12

Go with him. Big deal. You'll be very sorry if you don't go.

Answer 13

I don't see why it's a big deal. Clearly they have both moved on, she's getting married and he's with you. If you are that uncomfortable, you don't have to attend.  

Answer 14

i don't see anything wrong with that at all.  they're exes.  did he cheat on you with her?  otherwise i don't see why people care so much about people that their partner USED to date.  so what?  he's dating you now and she is obviously moved on to the point that she is MARRYING someone else.  their friends.  that shows a lot of maturity on their part and you should be happy you have a mature bf who can be friends with an ex afterwards instead of some big ugly mess.  it's fine.  she's getting married. they're friends. he WANTS to take you!!  why wouldn't you want to go?  you'll be there with him... he's with you... i'm really not seeing anything wrong with this at all.  do you not trust him?  if you can't trust him when he's with you at a friends wedding then i don't see why your with him even...  

Answer 15

Go.  I think it is fine that they are still friends.  

Answer 16

I have to agree with you.  Besides you being uncomfortable, think of all the other people there that will be uncomfortable with your boyfriends presence...the groom, the groom's family, and probably the bride's family.  I would explain to your boyfriend how you feel, and that you would rather send regrets for the both of you, as well as a nice gift, and spend the day together doing something you both will enjoy.