Do you think it's weird to marry an old guy when you are so young?

Question

my mom says it's better to marry an lder guy because hes more experienced and mature....

Answer 1

Well marry Younger one's

Answer 2

I think it is weird.  Silent film actor Charlie Chaplin married his last wife Oona O'Neil in 1943.  Oona was 18, and Charlie was 54.

Answer 3

No.  I like older men but that's my preference.  It's not for everyone.

Answer 4

Depends, if you love each other then there isnt really a problem is there?

But dont be forced into the marriage.

Answer 5

i agree with ummik. she sounds wise. because i thought this too for awhile. but Alhamdoillah i married a man my age we are both 21. im still happy with my decision with my husband. but i thought i would end up with someone much older than me. but this is what i have now and Alhamdoillah i am still satisfied.

Answer 6

depends on the people- if they love each other then age shouldnt matter. love is beautiful and people should be lucky and happy if they find it, no matter what circumstances there are.

Answer 7

I know someone who was 16 when she married and the guy was 29. They are SO happy, and they love each other. She said it was good, because he had already gone through the days of hanging out with friends, and so forth. When he married her (it was arranged) he was ready to settle down and have kids. So she didn't have to worry that if he's late from work, he's not actually going to friend's house when he says he's stuck in traffic and will belate. She felt liek she was actually married to a man, not a guy who is married for the priviledges and not the responsibility.

There is a six year difference between by husband and I, which isn't that mch, but I really like marrying a guy older than me.

Answer 8

no thas a big age difference..but seeing Rasoolullah marrying Hazrat Khadija (ra) at age 25 while she was 40...therefore u can decide if u really wanna marry an elder guy or look for someone ur age or close to ur age

Answer 9

16 and 40 is way too big of an age gap.

An age gap of 10-15 years max is more reasonable and common in some parts.

Personally, I think 5-7 years of an age gap is just fine.

Answer 10

it depends on the maturity of both people. age is really just a number. you gotta do what feels right for you, and who cares what other people think ^_~

Answer 11

Strange but not unusual, actually it quite a common practise.

Other than financial stabilities, women usually married older guy because they think that the guy will love and appreciate them more. Would you not value your young wife?

Be warn, this is not always true sometime they would treat you the same as if you are as old as them or older ...no SPECIAL TREATMENT.

If they are control freak no matter how old they are they still be a freak!

So it not a matter of age but a person character.

Answer 12

I think that a girl of 16 does not yet know the meaning of love and therefore any feelings she has for this man would be different than true love.  I don't think a parent should marry their young daughter off to a man that much older than she is.  I personally think arranged marriages are stupid and degrading, but if I was in a position where my culture did that I sure as heck would not marry her to someone that old.  I would look for a man a few years older than her.  That being said, if the girl were older and more mature and able to realize what love is and fell in love with an older man then I see no reason why she should not marry him.  Love does not differintiate between age.

Answer 13

Not only weird but against God (swt), and human nature.

Like these examples here in the Bukahri Hadiths;

"...The Prophet (Muhammed) said to her (Aisha), 'You have been shown to me twice in my dream. I saw you pictured on a piece of silk and someone said (to me). 'This is your wife.' When I uncovered the picture, I saw that it was yours. I said, 'If this is from Allah, it will be done.'"

(Hadith, Sahih Bukhari 5:58:235)

"The Prophet (Muhammed) married her (Aisha) when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for nine years (i.e., till his death)."

(Hadith, Sahih Bukhari 7:62:64)

"Narrated 'Aisha: 'I used to wash the traces of Janaba from the clothes of the Prophet (Muhammed) and he used to go for prayers while traces of water were still on it (water spots were still visible).'"

Muhammed was 54 years old when he consummated his marraige to Aiesha when she was only 9!

Answer 14

if you are 16 u cant get married it is a very bad idea.  you still have your whole life ahead and who ever you marry you should stay with till deth due you part.  give it time and wait.  you can find the right person and if it is the 40 year old then give your relation ship a few years and see if its really what you want.  i am 16 too so dont think of me as your parent or adult think of me as a friend trying to help you

Answer 15

well 16 is too young and to marry a 40 yr old....well...it depends on the compatibility of the two ppl together...if thy click its great if thy dont....well u know.

Answer 16

more  experienced  in he has  been married before  but what about the younger men  they have  to start  some where.  I think it is better to marry some one  nearer  your own age  of your  choice  so you are not left alone  with young  children  because of death.

Answer 17

if thats what you want why not?

but not becuase your parents want it.

its not wierd at all. but i do perfer a smaller age gap like upto 6 years.

Answer 18

This is the norm in MANY countries.  Americans tend to primarily marry close to their own age.

Answer 19

umm ya if the person is 19 i would say the oldest they can be married to is like 24 not more then thats it would be weird and oh god eww

Answer 20

i do not prefer for this to happen to me but some people would accept this, there must be a mutual understanding between them. salam

Answer 21

If a 40 year old man marrys a girl 20 years younger than him, I see this is a pedophilia. It's disgusting.

Answer 22

i think you should marry for love not for age, wisdom does come with age, but so do a lot of hangups and issues.  I think that you should marry whoever makes you happy, you can look up to, and compliments your character and way of being. The rest is just a matter of public opinions and stereotypes. There are tons if 16 yr olds that are more mature than some 34 year olds i know.

Answer 23

It's not normal. It is weird and you should marry someone more to your age. if you agree with your mom, that's good but you you're allowed to disagree. It's your life and you have the right to make your own decision, especially on such an important decision.

Best wishes

Answer 24

I personally think older guyz is better becuase yeah they are mature well some but not all,  but not so old that i've only got a few days wiv him also that is kinda...really creepy for me personally.

Assalamu alaikum wb

peace and blessings of god be wiv u

Answer 25

Personally, yes.

But i think it depends on each person's perspective. Some people think it's perfectly fine with such a huge age gap as long as they love each other.

I've also been pondering about how people of such huge age gaps communicate. Wouldn't there be a generation gap?

Answer 26

16 & 40 is too weird

Answer 27

Are u sure ur mo said 16 and 40 shud be the gap??? I dont think she must have said that

what she meant by older is 23 and 26 or 27 or 28...

yep true..more mature and experienced...

But I am not for it:D

Answer 28

Because that is perverted and illegal. Your mom is not thinking of your education and your future happiness if she said that. Older meaning a few years when you are older is fine, like 25 and 35. You will never have anything in common with a man that old, no fun!

Men who married 16 year old women when they are 40 do NOT love the woman for her soul or her personality. It is for baby making or s*x and that is a life of misery for the wife!

Answer 29

How old are each of you?

edit: I would definitely advise against that. Wait until you're at least 21 and marry someone closer to your age (late 20's maximum).

Answer 30

You can't anyway. Unless your mom signs you away. But, yeah, that's what we have sexual abuse laws for.

Answer 31

My mom said it's better to pick an older guy because they make money. I don't get it. 16 and 40! WOW! My parents are going to pick a guy for me that is 3 to 5 years older than me. But I want a guy who is only one year older that me!