Do you think it's wrong to use only the man's surname?

Question

I know some people will disagree, but I hate double-barrelled surnames. I'm all for femininism and stuff, but I would rather my children did have my partners surname. People make out that it's so wrong for me to want to use my partners surname just because it's well known to my friends that I'm proud of my surname.

What do you think about how surnames are given?

Answer 1

It's not wrong at all. Your name is your own and you can change it however you see fit. The whole point of freedom is having the choice to do things like that without having to consult anyone else.

My wife chose to change her surname to mine, and did not keep her maiden name. She's not one to do things by halves, and felt that changing her name would be a very direct way of letting me--and everyone else--know who's in charge.

Answer 2

People should be able to use whichever surname they want, be it their own, their spouse's, double-barrelled, or integrated.

Answer 3

i'm glad you brought this subject up.....i think...since we;re in the 21st century women shouldn;t have to or feel obliged to use mens last names....they should be able to use thier own without feeling unconfortable...in any way!.... .

Answer 4

Just do what you feel is right besides, your children can choose to take your name later on if they want to.

Answer 5

I'm not a fan of hyphenated names myself, but I can see why people get upset if you say a woman has to take the man's last name.  Having said that, I do think in most cases it's easier in the long run if everyone has the same last name, especially when kids get involved, and the concept of a man taking a woman's last name is something that I'll admit is a foreign concept to me.

Answer 6

No, I think it's ok.

Personally though, our boys will have my husband-to-be's surname but our girls won't.  But that is for religious reasons.  So we are choosing a surname for our girls - probably his Mum's first name.

Answer 7

It is entirely a matter of personal choice. I am not married but even if I were I would not change my name. I have a daughter and I have given her both our surnames, his folowed by mine. There is no hyphen and she can be found under both or either name at the Records Office. The reason for her having both names of predominantly for when we travel with her, a man travelling with a little girl with a different name to himself will (hopefully) be checked to ensure the child is his, a child of the same name is accepted as his own offspring. It is traditional in almost all cultures for a child to take the father's name, this is because there is conclusive proof of maternity but a man needs to accept paternity.

Answer 8

It's personal choice really; I don't think there's anything wrong with using the man's or the woman's surname. Double barelled names seem too politcally correct for my liking, but again it's up to each couple to decide. I'd take my husband's name and give our children his name too, to connect us all as a family, and I don't see that as anti-equality. It's a harmless tradition.  

Answer 9

It's not wrong if your partner is: 1. A male, and 2. You're going to marry him.

Answer 10

My last name is hyphenated.  I liked my last name too much to let it go.  My son from a previous relationship has my last name.  My daughter has my husbands last name.  I like that my son has my surname because there aren't too many people with that last name.

Answer 11

a wife should take her husband's name. the man is the 'dominant' one in the relationship, but both genders are equal...if that makes any sense lol i really can't explain what i mean.  

Answer 12

I took my husband's name very adamantly.  Not one person has questioned it.  I am not sure who you hang around, but I would find some friends who respect you if I were you.

All people need to do what is right for them.

Answer 13

I think it is a personal decision between couples, but kids might get made fun of for having their mothers surname in some countries. Also I think a lot of women view it as a way to honor their husband. Like how husbands will let their wife pick the name of a child most the times, its a way to honor their wife.  

Answer 14

I think it's up to the individual. I took my husbands surname as that was what was usual at the time but if I had the choice I would still have taken it as I liked it better than my own.

Answer 15

I think children should take on the father surname. It shows their routes. Otherwise you would have brothers and sister marrying each other without knowing it. The child should also know it's mother's surname.

Answer 16

I don't think it's wrong to use the man's surname, but I was thinking about last names and I had an idea. Do you think it would be work to give the girls the mother's maiden surname and the boys the father's surname? Would that be too strange for people?

Answer 17

No its just tradition, like man opening the door for a woman and being polite and stuff. Plus you don't have to anyways.  

Answer 18

Not necessarily, considering it's fairly difficult to break tradition.

Answer 19

I don't think it is 'wrong' to use His surname, but the whole area is usually about a complex set of ~ likely unformed ~ issues regarding a persons personal identity.

You can, in fact, quite legally, call yourself by any name you chose and be known as by all in sundry as ''that name'' ...as long as there is no intent to practice fraud or deceptions.

Sash.

Answer 20

I think women should take on their husbands last name!

Answer 21

It is purely a matter of personal choice, if you live in the UK there is nothing to stop your children having their fathers surname even if you keep your maiden name and this is regardless of whether your married to the father.

Answer 22

If you had a career where you needed to be 'findable'... you would never change your name.  How could clients find you?  It would be like dropping off the face of the earth.  It would spell career suicide.  That's a major reason women either hyphenate or stick with the tried and true original: its PRACTICAL.

Answer 23

I have great sympathy with those who decide to take the wife´s surname. Perhaps all these strong and confident Alpha females should insist on their husbands taking their last names. The family name mostly shows who is in charge in the marriage.  Equality is reached when as many couples do so as there are couples doing it the traditional way (taking the husband´s name).

My wife took my name when we married 11 years ago. Today I would like to change it, taking hers, to make a statement.  But unfortunately our laws do not allow to change back.

Answer 24

No, this is not right.  Only the mother's surname should be applied to the children as the woman is always right and the man is typically a bad person.

"All men are rapists and that's all they are" - Marilyn French