Do you think it is harder to deal with other peoples children than it is your own? (for long amounts of time)?

Question

On the weekend we had my partners neice stay over the night.

By the middle of the next day she got sulky and wanted everything her way.

She was obviously tired because she had a big two days. She's usually a really great kid.

I got annoyed with her behaviour and was surprised that the way she acted even worried me. I think it may have been because I couldn't put her to bed and fix the problem... as she was going home in the next hour.

I always thought it was easier to deal with other peoples kids because you can take them home again? But it just seems akward "disciplining" someone elses child.

I'm having a baby soon and this worried me.

Answer 1

I definately think it's harder dealing with other people's kids than my own.  I have much more patience with my children then I have with other people's kids.  My kids know already what I will tolerate and what I won't tolerate.   For example, my kids know better than to whine if they want something, but if I watch my sister's daughter, she whines constantly if she doesn't get her way.  

However, you WILL get annoyed with your own children's behavior from time to time.   So don't bother to beat yourself up about it.   Kids have a funny little way of finding your last nerve and then jumping on it.  It's all about how you handle their bad behavior, not whether it gets on your nerves or not.

Answer 2

I think it can be harder. Usually when you are in a situation like this, you don't want to spoil the fun by being a crab. My cousins and I have this problem with each others' children. I love my little cousins but sometimes their behavior baffles me and we've tried to pack too much stuff into one day on top of throwing routine to the wind. I can see an impending meltdown with my own kids and plan accordingly, with hers it can get a little tricky. Plus, they know I'm not going to go ballistic on them or anything so they test the limits to find out.

What worked for us is to make the visiting a little more regular and have times where the day is just playing in the yard and quiet evening. Then our kids got used to the other adult in a non-stress way and time-outs and threats to be sent home were an actual possible threat.

Answer 3

oh yes most definitely. You can't punish the way you would like and you can't use your parenting skills because the parents may use different methods to dealing with their children, its very naturally to become annoyed with other people's children.

Answer 4

Going through tons of training about how to effectively discipline, motivate, and manage children has made it so that I have a pretty easy time with other people's children.  I actually have a harder time with my own because some battles I just want to stop fighting.  With other people's children their problems are new and different, so it's a bit refreshing.  

Don't be worried.  You're going to be fine.  The advantage you have with your own children is that you know them.  You can see problems starting before they become obvious and you know what your child will respond well to and what he won't.  With other people's children it's easier to miss warning signs of a  melt down. Again, you're going to do great!

Answer 5

It is easier, much easier and much more fun to raise your own kids.  Trust me...you will enjoy it! :)  No worries...there is no need.  I would rather watch my own children for many hours to several weeks than I would want to watch some peoples children for 3 hours....(But I do not tolerate or put up with some behavior that other people are willing to allow their children to do.)

Answer 6

Just recently my husbands  7 year oldson from a previous relationship has come to live w/ our family~we have a daughter of 3.

Josh has always been a part of our family, and is a lovely boy to have around. Most of the time he will be on his best behaviour but there is times when he goes out of control and wants everything his own way or no way!! If i try to decipline him he sometimes will tell me 'your not my mother' and even though this is true he is in my house and has to be treated the same as my daughter.

i feel it is much much easier to look after your own child then someone elses, but then again all children are sulky when they dont get their own way, my daughter is the same.

xxxx

Answer 7

Ok.. short term it is easier to 'deal' with my friends kids.. like I can talk to them calmly, because I am trying to be patient with them

Long term... h**l no!! I never noticed how good my own kid was till I watched someone else's..

today was the exception.. My good friend L L's little girl came to the pool with us, and she was for the most part really good... but I have been around other people's kids, and they are whiney, and will not listen.. I would smack the bottom of my kid if they acted like that!!! And you can't exactly smack someone else's kid, *even if given permission*

you need to get down on their level, and tell them straight in the face that if they don't knock their sh! t off, that you are going to knock them into next tuesday!!!

LOL.... just kidding!!

Answer 8

I def agree with you, I have 2 children and another on the way and love being around them all the time. But I have a nephew who is very undisciplined who I could really do without. I know it sounds mean but whatever